To go to a sex club with DH?

[ChangeMyNameChangeMyNameee]

Name changed but long time mnetter.

Me and DH have long talked about opening up our marriage. We've now got the kids away at the in-laws for a few nights and considering going to a swingers club tomorrow night. We've discussed hard rules etc beforehand and tbh with it being the first time we might just be boring and have a few drinks and come home but wondering if anyone's got any experiences or tips?

I've always been interested but have never done it. Try putting a profile on fabswingers to read all the reviews.

It can be voyeurism. It can be exhibitionism. It can be whatever you want it to be. It can be cuckolding or cuckqueening or group fun but if you're having a group experience you still get to watch your partner with someone else.

ETA thought of some more options - it can be straight swap same room, straight swap separate room, soft swap...

Raided?? These places are legal!

Posting in AIBU

🍿

Yeah she takes a 'voyage' to a swinging club every once and so often.

Like a Diddy party? 🤮

I haven't ever been, she types hastily but years and years ago someone I was with had. Once, before they met me. He said he lasted fifteen minutes before he ran away, too scarey.

No 🙄

I can imagine nothing worse. Really don't understand why people are OK with seeing the person they love have sex with someone else! Seriously just the fact my partner might want to consider doing this would be relationship ending for me. If I saw my partner even flirt with someone else I would want to rip both their heads off
Once you go down this road there is no going back.
Hard no from me but I appreciate others have different views and will disagree!

How long have you been with your partner?

It's half term this week.

I see posts on here about people being tradwives or sending their kids to boarding school or going to Disney theme parks, I don't want to any of those things but I wouldn't post saying "OmG I can't imagine wanting to do that!!!" it's not a helpful contribution.

OP and her DH do want to do that. So do we have any tips?

Boundaries and ground rules are good. Having each other's back is critical. You need to have it so that if someone wants to bail, you both go, no questions asked. It can feel weirdly emotional and overwhelming to the senses in ways you can't predict. Have low expectations the first time.
Choose the club carefully, some are very beautiful people-ish and some more relaxed and homely, find the right thing for you. And the right evening as they have different atmospheres if eg single men are welcome or not. Depends what you want.
Also the sex you have with each other after the end of the club is the best ever, so enjoy it!

There is far more interesting stuff available online for 'wank fodder'.

Yes the sex board will get trolls like everywhere else on here but ime both men and women posting there seem perfectly normal and pleasant not the mn stereotype that anyone discussing is a grubby perv.

Not that has a female audience though, that they can violate and upset. Thats the thrill for these losers.

Why on earth would any mumsnetter who is likely to feel violated and upset by interacting with men talking about sex hang around on the sex board and get involved in sex discussions??
Please be logical. The sex board is simultaneously infested by trolls who like upsetting and violating women's boundaries but also a silo of mumsnet that people have to actively seek out? Really?

I get the impression that this is more his idea of a good time than yours, OP. But even if not, you need to think very carefully about possible scenarios and outcomes, not all of which are positive. And then discuss any potential issues that may arise.

I get the impression that this is more his idea of a good time than yours, OP. But even if not, you need to think very carefully about possible scenarios and outcomes, not all of which are positive. And then discuss any potential issues that may arise.

You can choose to believe that if you like. There aren’t many places where they think they can get a mainly female audience so mumsnet is it for them. Some of them have even talked about using mumsnet on other sites for that reason. The definition of grubby pervs I’d say.

Ha, cross posted! 😆

I wouldn’t consume alcohol (or limit myself to an absolute maximum of 1-2 drinks).

Are you going with a friend / somebody who knows the specific club and can give you some info?

It will really depend on where you’re going. But my piece of advice would be to be extremely open about your lack of experience and just ask if you’re unsure. Don’t make it up as you go along.