How soon would your partner want sex if they hadn’t seen you in 5 weeks

[Formula75]

My husband was away for work. Has been home 4 days, hasn’t come near me. I’ve tried to initiate things but he’s not interested. We’re both in our 40s.

Well life comes first… I cum second 😂

seriously though, is that unusual for you both? Are you worried something happened on his trip?

Unusual, but have you initiated with him? He might just want you to know that's not the single most important thing he's missed?

Yes I would say unusual. We would usually have sex either the first or second day he’s home.

Problem is he doesn’t seem like he’s missed me at all! No hugs, kisses, nothing

@Formula75 as soon as we’re alone…I’d make sure my lady planned my return to be alone ! it sounds like it’s not a priority between you both, how open are you to chat to each other about sex?

Could also be that being away he's been self pleasuring a lot. Could be both tired and drained. But also life is too short.
My wife used to get my attention by showering then coming to find me dressed in matching set, suspender belt, seamed stockings heels and a black lacy robe.
I always made sure to drop whatever I was doing.....

Has he been pleased to see you otherwise? My husband used to work nights and the recovery time and turn around certainly got longer as we got older. Has he been in a wildly different time zone?

Can you say,
”I’m feeling a bit confused and rejected that you’ve not had any interest in sex since you got back! What’s going on?”

Are you concerned he’s been unfaithful?

Depends really, I used to work away a lot and the first few days home were quite about just getting back to normal, especially as I got older

@Formula75 For me, it would have been the first night I was back, depending on the time I arrived...

Did you have much contact whilst he was away? Did you get any sort of sense that he might be loosing interest?

It's possible that he's been playing away - what do your feelings tell you?

@Formula75 as a couple the question is how active are you both sexually generally, for me if Iv been away ,I’d do as quickly when I’m back✊🏿

Sorry for not updating.. still nothing!

I don’t want to say sex is a priority for me but it’s important. I find physical touch really important so when there’s none it doesn’t make me feel good. I had a hug and a kiss when he got home but that’s been it.

We were lying in bed watching football last night and I actually thought how awkward it would feel if he did try it on, because things just feel abit off between us at the moment. I’m feeling off because he hasn’t come near me but I don’t know why he’s being different.

I’m really not good with confrontation and I don’t know how to broach the subject but I know I need to. Any ideas how to start it off? Just ask is there any reason why you haven’t come near me?

Sorry forgot to answer some questions -

I’m more open to chat about sex than he is

Wouldn’t say he’s been overly pleased to see me

Not in a wildly different time zone

There is definitely a possibility he could have been unfaithful, there would be the opportunity to

Had lots of contact when he was away, lots of texting saying he couldn’t wait to get home

We’re usually pretty active, 2/3 times a week but definitely always the first day or 2 after he comes home if he’s been away a long time

Normally within couple of days in our case unless one of us is ill. Sorry to say it but definitely sounds like something's a bit off - seems out of character for how he normally is after he comes back from overseas trip and would be strange for his drive to have suddenly gone like that. Maybe worth a conversation on why he's not himself.

The football was something else last night! That definitely had to come first 😆We did get a groove on afterwards though.
I would ask him about it, but maybe not during tonight's football 🤐
If I had been away I would expect we would get it on the night I returned. In your shoes I would find this off yes

Trouble with asking- he’s hardly going to admit if he has been unfaithful?!

Everyone is different, but just for us I would say a couple of days. My husband works overseas trips and it depends on the travel back home, sometimes it can be long and tiring so I understand he needs a day or two to get back on track.
That said, he usually can't go more than 3 days or so without an orgasm so he will normally have been masturbating while he was away. If he's done it it a lot while he has been maybe he isn't thinking about sex for a day or two.

I wouldn't ask him this no, but I don't think it sounds like he has been. I'd just ask him why he hasn't felt like being intimate. He should answer that

He’ll just say he’s tired though won’t he? He’s unlikely to say anything else imho 😂

report back OP!

He's a man, he won't possibly lie!!

Tbf it was a cracking match, so I’m not sure if even I’d be up for sex after all last nights excitement 😂

I’d just be honest with him and ask if everything is ok. Tell him how much you’ve missed him and how you’ve missed intimacy.

unfortunately, tonight’s football is going to be just as good so maybe wait until tomorrow!

or; you could combine the football and sex - make it fun. Ie - if an arsenal player gets booked he has to pleasure you and if a psg player gets booked you pleasure him. If there’s a goal etc etc

best of both worlds!

It really sounds like something is off here … there’s an unspoken avoidance. If I haven’t seen my partner for a week or so, sex is usually within the first 24 hours unless someone is sick and then it’s just hugs and being close emotionally and mentally physically ( in other ways).

@Formula75 did you get to the bottom of this?