Getting intimate with a co worker 😅

[catlady991]

So I just want to see the opinions of those who have done this before and here the stories (fully prepared for the slander and sl*t shaming, keyboard warriors like to do)

Group of us from work went to the pub after a stressful week at school (we are teachers). Had a great time, few people left and then the last 3 of us left and I suggested a drink at mine as I’d cocktail mixers and I live 2 mins from the pub. One passed, one joined…one thing lead to another and we got intimate (this was NOT my intention with the invite btw)

I’d never really thought of him as much more than a coworker, we are both single, aged 27, he’s 30. He’s quiet and keeps himself to himself but our classrooms are beside each other so we do have friendly chats. Yesterday he brought my printing (awww sweet 🤣) and we have been talking more on duty or between lessons as I’ve been telling him about my failure of a love life as he knows I’m on Tinder and get a lot of shit messages on it.

We didn’t have an awful lot to drink btw we were fully conscious of our decisions. I don’t feel like Monday will be awkward if it was just a one time thing that’s fine but I’m open to pursuing more slowly (obvious hesitations with being coworkers). Afterwards he did confide in me about something personal he went through with work and it was quiet traumatic for him (false allegations) so I do genuinely feel bad for him l that he went through that alone, he’s a good person

what do you mumsnetters think. Have I made a bad choice 🤣 will Monday be the worst day of my life? I don’t feel any strong feelings for him either I’m more worried he’ll feel awkward which I don’t want him too

teachers 🤣 personally no way would I have done this! But it’s too late now, hope Monday goes okay.

Try to meet up before Monday otherwise it will drive you mad and not be able to concentrate on work on Monday.

Good luck enjoy

Better to have a conversation with him before start of work on Monday to agree on how you will interact at work while you resolve the emotional content.

Thanks for this! I did send him a message last night but he’s not opened it. It doesn’t look like he’s even active on messenger it doesn’t have the “active …. Hours ago”. Emotions wise I’m fine like I don’t feel indifferent about it although I know we shouldn’t have done it ultimately 😅 I’m happy just to be friendly with him if that’s all he wants and just act like it never happened.

for him he said it was his first time he’d done it in 4 yrs so I don’t think he made the decision to get involved lightly especially after we had a conversation on the drive to the pub about how Co workers shouldn’t date 🤣 whoops

I also don’t want to him to catch feelings and feel he can’t act on them so I’ll assess him on Monday see if he comes speaks to me or not I mean we are classroom neighbours he can’t avoid me 🤣

Ah, tale as old as time! There will be gossip, but staff rooms are full of love stories!
You are both professionals, just take it slowly and be professional and dependable at work, have fun on your own time and good luck!

Also, I missed a night out on Friday and I’m wistfully wondering if you’re the bright young things in my department…
I would not be at all surprised!

Well I don’t know if there will be rumours unless the other staff who turned down the drink and went home tells people that he came over but suppose we could kill any conversation if we say nothing happened. I would prefer senior leadership didn’t find out if I’m honest 🤣 although we all secretly know the principal and VP are at it behind closed doors so maybe our school is notorious

ahhhh well who doesn’t love a bit of drama and gossip 🤣

Awkward if it is 🤣🤣 I’ll be wondering who is giving me suspicious looks on Monday now 🤣

This is not the smartest thing to do in the context of a school environment workplace.

It will get out, it will become common knowledge, with the chance that students might pick up on it too.

I’m not being horrible, just sharing years of witnessing this in action across different schools, with me being involved on one occasion with a younger colleague.

Have a chat with the guy over the weekend -tell him you enjoyed the evening, but wouldn’t want it to make life at work awkward in any way - get him to agree to say nothing to anyone, but you’ll probably be too late, as the colleague who didn’t come back will be a problem.

No need for either of you to feel awkward. Both relationships and ONS happen in every workplace. Just be your normal friendly self on Monday. Don’t overthink and see what (if anything) develops. Sounds like it might from what you’ve said!

I think this is fine?! As young free 19yr olds by work friend gave me a bj on the beach after a night out (whilst on the phone to her boyfriend who was my boss 😆) I still think about it sometimes! We felt nothing for each other and were in work together the next day like nothing happened. It's fine just to have fun

Is it bad I kinda do hope something might start 😅 I wouldn’t say I have strong feelings or fancied him but he’s a decent guy I’ve just never really viewed him like that before, and even if it doesn’t I hope he can laugh about it and not think too seriously of it as that’s how I feel

Of course it’s not bad!! 🤞🤞 let us know how Monday goes

Our head is married to one of the department heads! So you don’t work with me!

Relieved to hear this 🤣

Not a school environment, but this happened to me. I remember my friend saying ‘You are going to feel so bad on Monday!’
co worker was also just a friend and definitely not my type! Too short, too nerdy etc.
We have now been together 26 years, married for 21. I love him to bits and we are very happy.

Wonder if they got together in similar circumstances 😂 think it’s more common than people admit to!

some years ago I had a ‘fling’ with a work colleague after a few drinks - he was ten years younger (and also junior to me) …we ended up married with twin daughters and are still happily together 16 years later. We kept it pretty quiet at work and worked together for another two years, barely anyone knew. Maybe more difficult as a teacher, but just take it slowly and discreetly and see how it goes is my advice!

So slight off topic epiphany I’ve had is that I’ve realised this guy looks slightly similar to my ex although coworker is taller and different facial hair but just something about his looks reminds me of my ex who traumatised me 😅 so let’s see how he reacts towards me tomorrow but not sure I want to pursue this anymore as now I’ve had this thought I can’t unsee it

Giving someone a BJ while you're on the phone to someone else is quite a neat trick.

for anyone wanting an update

we acknowledged each other during the day in passing, nothing different to usual, he popped into my room when heading home and asked how my weekend was, I jokingly said we are ok aren’t we and he agreed, he also asked for my number and whatsapped me (with a x on the end of the message 👀) as he doesn’t use messenger (explains the no answer). Also made a joke we should make Friday drinks at the pub a tradition

anyone want to read into that for me 🤣🤣

Awwwww…. I think he’s shy but basically asked you out!

knew it! So happy for you. Don’t forget mumsnet invites to your wedding 🙏😂

I will be 100% back here with every significant interaction we have I promise you that much 🤣

Good luck OP

Are you suggested ng she takes a hit out on the teacher who didn't come back? 😂

FFS, she's a consenting adult, she can do whatever the hell she wants. Lots of people meet their partners through work relationships