Sexting etiquette

[WhereHasAllTheLoveGone]

Hi quick simple question.

If your partner wanted to perform oral sex on you as a woman how would you want them to let you know via a text / texting?

What is hot what is not? I have wanting to send a text to my partner all day and have deleted many attempts.

My partner is on the conservative side of sexting having just moved on from emoji based sexting

thanks for any help

How would you say it in person?

I can’t think of any conservative ways to say it 😂.

Unfortunately, my DH is not into sexting of any kind so even a conservative attempt would guarantee no response. It’s frustrating because I enjoy it.

Maybe just start off by saying "I would really love it if you go down on me to start off with tonight"

I think it's a man wondering how to tell a woman what he wants to do to her 🤔

That there is the issue I tend to just work off body language whereas I ask.
I wish she would also ask and if she text me to ask I’d be on my way home now lol

Not easy is it!

I also feel your frustration

Maybe ask her what she would like. Ask if she can direct you or be in charge? See how she phrases things.

I do think words are quite individual and can be very enticing or off putting but we're all different.

I love when I'm invited to be totally selfish!

This is really good advice thanks.
I will discuus it with her and put my big boy pants on and ask her for next time.
She is welcome to anything just wish she would tell me

Might have to go back to emojis for today

How long have you been together? Some people just don't like sexting. Maybe you're not compatible? Or if it's a long term relationship accept it's just not her thing

25yrs and were are going well.

I have come round to the fact that certainly in the beginning we were incompatible and reading so many threads on here I think we’d of possibly been done in the early years if it was now but she wanted me and she is hot and all I wanted so we stuck it out.

Without TMI when she’s in the zone she is on it but that’s not often . Was thinking a bit of text anticipation would help ( from the books) emojis work.

The more I write the more I think I. am making old mistakes that what she’s is happy with isn’t enough. Not what I expected from the question I asked but nevertheless has been worth asking.

@AlexandrinaH

Give emoji a try if they work for us they could work for you. Even if you only get a 👍 is better than nothing.

Go steady on the emojis you might give her the ick!

I think if she's not asked you for oral sex in 25 years she's probably not going to start steaming up your inbox now 😂

Sounds like you have a good partner though and the real thing is so much better

Ha! I live in hope!

👍 😉

Alternative view. I'm a bloke who's not into texting. Just put a real person in front on me.

You could start with just a simple... "I have been thinking about you all day, and the hat delicious fun we might have later...". Hopefully you get a " what did you have in mind?" Response? Then carefully and flirtatiously lead up to it. IME most women would feel uncomfortable with direct talk.

Thank you - that’s a good idea!

Good luck - I’m sure it will come in time with confidence and a slow build up, if she’s into it. If you build up to it you can always take a step back if you or she feels like it’s a bit too much.

In my own point of view, it’s never too much with the right person and if the chemistry is there.

Have fun. 😉

I like both, but absolutely not everyone is into it and that perspective obviously must be respected. It’s why I’ve never sent my DH any explicit texts or images. I have previously sent very subtle texts which have been ignored; so I never tried again.

He is however, amazing in bed so it makes up for the lack of flirting/sex talk.

I like it as long as it’s not too “pornified”!

@GarrynotsoGorilla

Thanks that’s a good opener. I also now remember the “I had a dream last night “ scenario off here which I thought was clever. The usual response though is an emoji which is better than nothing.

Today I just had that urge for something direct bit like wanting a maccy’s and not a three course dinner but I am also aware that’s what I wanted. This place makes you think doesn’t it!! 🤔

This thread has been good. Inspired me to actually ask.

The usual response though is an emoji which is better than nothing.

If it's a 👍 I'm not sure it is better than nothing!!

If it was the ok emoji and the pointy finger one I think you might be on for a good thing 😜

@AlexandrinaH Indeed something flirty, affectionate and suggestive but not outright aexual, try and build the feelings and sense from the response. Maybe thought about cuddles on the sofa and a foot rub / neck massage etc...

Ha! Agreed but In terms of sexting etiquette I would take a 👍 most common is 🥰 which is appreciated but not 🥵. 🏠 🍆 .

I think 🥰 means she loves you but doesn't want to sext with you.

Agree with @Gymbunny2025 I think she senses the direction your headed in but doesn't want that conversation - either bad timing or doesn't want the conversation at all.