Younger men understand me and make me happy. Is there something wrong with me?

[valentinka31]

That's about it.

I love all men, I don't have any problem at all with older guys. But I just find that more younger guys understand me more, are nicer and more open, and we just get each other.

The simple sort of things I like are what they like too. And they respect that and me.

Probably now some answers will be oh, you seem available, they are up for anything, it's all bs, but ... it feels deeper, much deeper, than that.

Does equivalent age have to rule appropriacy of connection?

I think, mutinously, and from experience ... not.

I have to say that although my long term partner was 8 years younger than me, that felt like nothing, but when a guy 20-something became visible on my horizon, I was super resistant to it. It took a long time and a lot of persuading. Really. But then I got over that. ...

And my experience of older guys has been those who think that sex needs to be complicated and involve being 'dirty'. Dirty is absolutely not what does it for me. In any way. I like squeaky clean. So that is a total turn off for me, the older 'experienced' guys. Makes me feel about 13 with an ageing cousin of Jimmy Saville who has a Travelodge discount card and that is really really not a good vibe.

Are older men really... angry? Or maybe just a dating app thing?

(Sorry - I know it's a tangent but I'm curious)

well tbh I haven't really spoken to any. In terms of their profiles, they tend to value honesty and roast dinners over everything else. ... they want understanding and kindness. And often someone who will respond within 5 seconds to every message, reassure them, be appreciative, give them attention. Young ones want adventure, humour, warmth, and themselves to give an older woman the attention she may well be missing. They want to change her world.

So younger men give and older men take, basically?

And my experience of older guys has been those who think that sex needs to be complicated and involve being 'dirty'. Dirty is absolutely not what does it for me. In any way. I like squeaky clean. So that is a total turn off for me, the older 'experienced' guys. Makes me feel about 13 with an ageing cousin of Jimmy Saville who has a Travelodge discount card and that is really really not a good vibe.

I agree, OP. Plus, Middle aged men remind me of angry worms!

Are older men really... angry? Or maybe just a dating app thing?
(Sorry - I know it's a tangent but I'm curious)

In my experience, yes. They seem very impatient.

I think the only reason they moan about the youth is they hark for those days back themselves. Where they were Stallions! (half joking!).

As OP says, they have no idea how to turn a woman on. They seem to have reverse body dysmorphia..where they think they are big, and bold and excellent but in reality they are anything but 🤣

Here's the thing..I would have more respect for a man that didn't brag about his prowess, over a man that kept quiet. It's odd, and off putting.

Disclaimer: personal experience.

*over a man that couldn't keep quiet

Interesting what letstalkaboutsex76 says about middle age men and sex.I would say the problem with middle age men these days is stress. To have a fulfilled sex life you need to work on it and men understress cannot do this. My view is that women today demand good sex not a “wam bam thank you mam”attitude which most men want. Good sex requires good foreplay and understand what a woman wants.
I could still give my wife an orgasm (no I’m not bragging ) when she was 71 foreplay was a vital part of our sex life. Sex had change over the years and we had to change to accommodate the changes.

Good point.Well, young men literally beg to be allowed to give. And older men I don't really know, but again, in my experience, quite a lot of them seem to be looking for someone to give.

It is so nice after years of someone being paranoid about access to their semen because, as it turned out, their lover was highly jealous and she would have killed me if I'd had another child with him - so nice then to have a whole host of guys offering gallons. Yes, maybe I am messed up, but at the same time, I do kind of think semen is deserving of reverence. It literally has the power to create life. So it is pretty cool.

That's a lovely thing to say!! It's taken me a very long time to stop thinking of semen as a yucky, sticky side-effect. 😂

Back on topic, I guess what's being described (about older men) is something like mid life crisis? And regarding impatience during sex: a result of reduced libido meaning there's not as much sexual energy to make being a generous lover so easy?

Interesting what letstalkaboutsex76 says about middle age men and sex.I would say the problem with middle age men these days is stress. To have a fulfilled sex life you need to work on it and men understress cannot do this. My view is that women today demand good sex not a “wam bam thank you mam”attitude which most men want. Good sex requires good foreplay and understand what a woman wants.
I could still give my wife an orgasm (no I’m not bragging ) when she was 71 foreplay was a vital part of our sex life. Sex had change over the years and we had to change to accommodate the changes.

I agree. My needs also matter. They don't want the slow, sensual shit. Even after seeing someone for a year, he didn't want to be properly intimate. He just wanted his orgasm. His fav position was doggy. Every time. So we ended up not having sex every time. And then I broke it off. He says he can't understand why 🤔

yes it is absolutely unsavoury and I can't understand at all why they would think that is attractive. It is repellent to me, really. Not because I am precious or I want a young guy. Just because it is not nice.

so enter younger guy ... he is happy and proud of being ready, as it were, and really wants to share that celebration of his arousal (sorry, we are getting into euphemistic territory here). But ... there is also a kind of humility. He is not forcing it in any way. He's saying well here I am and I want to share it with you. And that feels very genuine.

Older guys that I have met are a bit like jaded market vendors. They have got their stalls out so many time in the rain at 6.05am that they've come to the point of being just a bit fed up, and weathered. So they need some kind of extreme sort of stimulation.

I am in 7th heaven just holding hands. This works with the younger guy. (as an overture ok)

I think partly my issue too is that porn etc is another forum where we as women are told how we should be. And I am not really interested any more in how I should be. I just want to go with what feels good. And feel my way. Which naivety and exploratory spirit also aligns with a guy just getting to the top of the first hill of adult existence. He's had 6 years or more thinking about it. Probably 8. So now he's really ready to go for it.

I'm feeling that I have had a weirdly sheltered life, and ended up in a horrid car park. I've managed somehow to reverse out and now I am driving out of the city into the countryside, and I like it.

As for the semen: it is your vital essence, you should worship it too! : )

And as for reduced libido: it's all about getting the living right. The right place, right emotional environment, creativity, sunshine, food, music, etc. ... sensuality. Reverence for the good. I do think that environment has so very much to do with how someone feels sexually.

That is vile. You may as well have been a literal dog. Dogs in love are actually way nicer to each other than that.

What the hell was the point of that? I guess that's what you started feeling.

Unpaid prostitute. Not good.

Older guys that I have met are a bit like jaded market vendors. They have got their stalls out so many time in the rain at 6.05am that they've come to the point of being just a bit fed up, and weathered

Howling!! 😅🤣

That is vile. You may as well have been a literal dog. Dogs in love are actually way nicer to each other than that.
What the hell was the point of that? I guess that's what you started feeling.
Unpaid prostitute. Not good.

Exactly that! They want to go hammer and tong without the stamina or package to match! Porn star wannabes!

Find me a humble man. I would be so much more attracted, regardless whether or not his parts would be in working order.

It's the sexual promise that he knows he can't deliver that baffles me. Just keep quiet, then! 😆

😉there is that 'getting it out again' feeling. And considering the woman some kind of slightly tricky but ultimately pliable receptacle. I prefer the getting it out for the first time in the presence of a real woman feeling.

yes, that's it... it's the humility (on both sides) that is important. For that to have survived how ever many years is a precious thing.

It's not about performance. Or size. Or anything measurable.

It's about attitude.

And as for reduced libido: it's all about getting the living right. The right place, right emotional environment, creativity, sunshine, food, music, etc. ... sensuality. Reverence for the good. I do think that environment has so very much to do with how someone feels sexually

They become even more important when libido can't carry you through. And (speaking for myself as a man who is nearly 50) making that happen requires more of a decision. This last year I've noticed myself preferring quicker sex rather than long, slow, sex because I don't know whether my libido will last. There could be various reasons for that but I can't discount age. It could be easy to get into bad habits.

just drink lots of smoothies and dispel any self-doubt

Really. Look after yourself and don't self-sabotage with it.

I am now totally lost in this thread. Letstalkaboutsex76 seems to have cut and pasted parts of two threads and I initially read it as my thread was vile. All I was saying was that sex changes with age and if you love and respect your partner you can have a long and healthy relationship.