Fifteen minutes sex v six Hours Zumba Argument

[Tavaress]

Me and my wife have always had different sex drives and have known each over and been married forty years. I could have sex every day while if my wife didn't have sex ever again I really don't think she would be too bothered. She has told me quite a few times that she is a self confessed prude and for the past twenty years we have had sex in one position with little involvement from my wife apart from kissing about once a week.
We both still have good lean bodies in our sixties and my wife goes to Zumba three times a week and is out for three hours each time all told with a break, chat, going for coffee and exercise after one Zumba session.

We were talking this afternoon and my wife said in so many words " I'm too old for sex now, I'm too tired.

I said " This is going to be an egg shell moment but how can you not be loving and have sex with me for fifteen minutes a week but be out three times a week for nine hours with at least six hours dancing and exercise with coach trips to markets, visits to shows and Christmas parties.

I don't go out and spend all my time in the garden and love being retired. We have had a big argument and she says it's not the first time she has said she doesn't really want sex anymore and she says she's not going to Zumba anymore and sex is now also finished and I have stopped her doing something she really loves.

I never asked her to stop going to Zumba which she is saying I have and apart from her times dancing we live in each others pockets.

Is it unreasonable what I have said and compared, I have compromised for twenty years with the one position sex and I really understand we are all different but I couldn't keep quiet under the circumstances and now we are not talking.
My wife can carry this on for hours and even days if I let it with me making it up every time soon after.

Let you know how we get on..

Being married doesn’t mean you have to lie back and think of England whenever your husband demands it.

Tell me you're rubbish in bed without telling me..l

Wow! Piss off back to incel central please.

I would happily go without Zumba for the rest of my life.

Sex is sex. Zumba is Zumba.

They are not related.

You have different sexual feelings and needs.

Your wife has made it clear she no longer has an interest in sex and that is completely ok.

You either have to accept you will no longer have sex together, split up or talk about the possibility of you being able to fulfill you needs else where whilst staying married.

Guilting your wife into intimacy she doesn’t want isn’t one of the options.

Well she should have sat down and told her husband .
It doesn’t matter how you word it you can’t blame OP

You don’t know a lot about women do you? Or biology?

Do you genuinely believe that women lie about enjoying sex, trap men into marriage under false pretences and then their true colours creep out? Sounds a bit incel!

The reality is that women marry for love. Young women enjoy sex and have higher hormone levels. There is no trickery going on. Biology is cruel for most of us though - our hormone levels drop as we age and our interest in sex reduces. It’s how the human race survives - women desire sex until they have reproduced, men desire sex until the day they die.

Im in my forties and I still enjoy sex with my husband, but I could happily only do it once a month. Quality over quantity! My husband would probably like to do it every day, or several times a week. We love each other, communicate well and compromise. We have sex probably 1-2 times a week. Because I know it’s important to my husband and I’m happy to do that for him. It does bring us closer and keeps our marriage strong. But if I’m honest I’d rather have a cup of tea and read my book most nights 😂

@Tavaress as other have said - your wife has told you how she feels about sex with you. I doubt her desire to have sex with you will change. So the ball is in your court - it’s sad after a long marriage but you either leave and try find someone else who wants to have regular sex with you, or you chose to stay in a relationship without sex.

Why? Are you assuming something of me ?
An assumption I am a man ?
Can a female not believe in honesty at the start of a relationship . Or not ?

To get married knowing you don’t want sex and knowing your dh/ or Dw does is deception.

I'm sure I've read this before, only Zumba wasn't mentioned it was just exercising.

I know plenty about biology and women funnily enough.

There is such a pattern of women posting on here about not wanting sex. .
Totaly there choice but be honest .

Some of the comments on here to OP are accusing and disgusting and it’s not to be liked when it’s turned to the other sex.

You are making the effort , you love your dh and want the marriage to work and care about his needs . It’s certainly doesn’t mean he is a rapist because he has sex with you, some posters on here would believe so though.

My point is communication and honestly . Simple

I take it you’ve never bothered to make her orgasm then? Never worked on your clitoral stimulation skills? You should be incredibly grateful she’s put up with one sided sex for so long, and then drop your demands. It’s past saving now.

We have both said sorry , had a talk and my wife took my hand and took me upstairs. We no longer have had sex in just one position, she has said she knows she has to make more effort and even though she knows I need sex more than her she does enjoy it when we have sex and said she said even initiated sex a couple of weeks ago.

I won't bite with all the talk of rape etc and I might even join the Zumba class..

Zumba is not really very similar to sex. Sex involves very close proximity to another human body, whole-body touching, exchange of body fluids, smells and a degree of vulnerability. Your wife may dislike some or all of these things.

No woman uses the word ‘female’.

Women in their sixties don't have the hormones required to desire sex. It's absolutely bonkers that women are made to feel that there's something wrong with them for not wanting sex after the menopause.

So you can go off and find someone younger or you can accept this fact about women.

Pull the other one, it's got bells on 🙄

What an absolute pile of crap.

up yer technique laddie and do more around the house?😉

lol ok

Yuck. Just yuck. Leave your poor wife for her own sake.

This is so icky. Op you’re obviously bad in bed. Now you’ve made your poor wife apologise and sleep with you? Ew

Wow, not speaking, prude of a wife who never wants sex again to bedroom olympics in just over 2 hours. Quick work! 🧐🤔🤨

Did you aye

And then everybody clapped.

What a load of rubbish and utterly pointless thread.

Add this to the list of things that never happened.

I feel grubby that I fell for a post to make women talk about sex so that some weirdo could get off on it 😡