Me and my husband got married 4 years ago, we waited until the wedding night to have sex. Since then we did it every weekend however 4 weeks ago I didn't climax and haven't since! I've been trying to find ways to spice it up but my husband wants to keep it vanilla, he expressed this on our wedding night as he is very conservative. On my own I have been exploring by watching porn but i feel so guilty, the men there are so much stronger and good looking, unlike my husband. He is a solid 7/10 but the size is a 3/10. I have purchased a rose toy in hopes it would get me off but after seeing bdsm porn I crave more.
However I am too scared to mention bdsm to him because of the feminist movements that claim women should claim their sexuality as apparently they just feed into the patriarchy. Furthermore I believe all women should use porn and sex toys to help them explore their sexuality, It has made me feel better about myself and I wish to share this new me with my husband. I've already purchased the handcuffs and gags, should I show them to him this weekend?