Small penis | Mumsnet

unfufillled · 2024-10-24T10:38:29+00:00

Need advice, so I've met a wonderful man and it seemed to be going well. The issue is last night we got intimate and his penis was very small. Not sure no rope is size but small. Lets just say I could fit it easily in my hand and was struggling to give him any pleasure or at least feel like I was doing much but cupping it. He was very attentive to me and made sure my pleasure was top of his priorities but this kinda put me off and by the time he actually tried penetration I couldn't feel a thing. It kinda felt like dry humping but without the actual sensations. I know he noticed something was wrong and I brushed it off with I was feeling tender. I didn't think I was a shallow person but maybe I am. And I always thought size wouldn't matter but I think it kind of does here. I like deep penetration and feeling full. With his I felt nothing. Everything else until this point seemed great and he seemed like the perfect guy for me but now I'm not sure. Sex is important to me and I have quite a high sex drive so this was really disappointing. He's since messaged saying he felt I was a bit off with him last night and this morning before work and I've not responded (normal though for me). Part of me thinks we can get over this and try other things but at the same time maybe I can't and I should call it a day now. Anyone any experience here and what they done? How they got over it ?

Secondstart1001 · 24/10/2024 11:48

It sex is important to you then I would end it. This be a deal breaker for me for this very same reason. Were you off with him though or were you just feeling wierd due to this unexpected situation? I feel that if you were off with him, it wouldn’t be fair.

Original poster

unfufillled · 24/10/2024 11:57

Secondstart1001 · 24/10/2024 11:48

It sex is important to you then I would end it. This be a deal breaker for me for this very same reason. Were you off with him though or were you just feeling wierd due to this unexpected situation? I feel that if you were off with him, it wouldn’t be fair.

I don't think I was off with him but maybe I was. We still spent the night together and were hugging etc I just put off anything sexual and said I was tender.
Maybe I was being off with him, I don't know.

I think you're right though and I should probably end it.

Just need to be tactful in some way as I really don't want to hurt him.

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MrBig0 · 24/10/2024 12:07

Dumping a guy because of his inadequate appendage is the equivalent of a woman being dumped because she is fat. It s a horrible way to end things either side of the fence.

if he was attentive as you said he was, that’s a great start. He can please you in other ways and you can suggest things like penis sleeves and figure out which positions give you greater pleasure.

if he is genuinely small, he will know this already, and being intimate with any new partner is going to much harder for him than an average size guy. Please don’t make him feel even worse by ending it because of this, if you really don’t think you have a future with him, think of another reason that won’t be so cruel.

Original poster

unfufillled · 24/10/2024 12:12

MrBig0 · 24/10/2024 12:07

Dumping a guy because of his inadequate appendage is the equivalent of a woman being dumped because she is fat. It s a horrible way to end things either side of the fence.

if he was attentive as you said he was, that’s a great start. He can please you in other ways and you can suggest things like penis sleeves and figure out which positions give you greater pleasure.

if he is genuinely small, he will know this already, and being intimate with any new partner is going to much harder for him than an average size guy. Please don’t make him feel even worse by ending it because of this, if you really don’t think you have a future with him, think of another reason that won’t be so cruel.

This is why I think I need to find some other way to end things or some other reason.

Everything else about him is perfect for me, but I just don't see how I can get past this. The thought of being intimate again with him is actually a turn off.

I think even bringing it up is going to hurt him and I don't want that. As I said he's a great guy in every other way.

OP posts:

MrBig0 · 24/10/2024 12:22

unfufillled · 24/10/2024 12:12

This is why I think I need to find some other way to end things or some other reason.

Everything else about him is perfect for me, but I just don't see how I can get past this. The thought of being intimate again with him is actually a turn off.

I think even bringing it up is going to hurt him and I don't want that. As I said he's a great guy in every other way.

Show quote history

Give him some time.

If he's perfect in every other way I do think its rather shallow to end an otherwise good relationship over the size of his penis. I'm sure a lot of people on here will vouch that less well endowed guys are often more attentive in bed and the bigger guys tend to be more selfish

cyclingmum67 · 24/10/2024 12:36

MrBig0 · 24/10/2024 12:07

Dumping a guy because of his inadequate appendage is the equivalent of a woman being dumped because she is fat. It s a horrible way to end things either side of the fence.

if he was attentive as you said he was, that’s a great start. He can please you in other ways and you can suggest things like penis sleeves and figure out which positions give you greater pleasure.

if he is genuinely small, he will know this already, and being intimate with any new partner is going to much harder for him than an average size guy. Please don’t make him feel even worse by ending it because of this, if you really don’t think you have a future with him, think of another reason that won’t be so cruel.

@MrBig0 - Dumping a guy because of his inadequate appendage is the equivalent of a woman being dumped because she is fat. It s a horrible way to end things either side of the fence

Exactly - or because her boob's weren't big enough/too big/not perfect

Secondstart1001 · 24/10/2024 12:36

@unfufillled i meant sensitively end it with him .. didn’t think you would tell him the genuine reason. For some women who don’t enjoy sex, it would not be a deal breaker. For me it would be as I wouldn’t want to get emotionally attached to someone that couldn’t please me in bed.

Original poster

unfufillled · 24/10/2024 14:16

Secondstart1001 · 24/10/2024 12:36

@unfufillled i meant sensitively end it with him .. didn’t think you would tell him the genuine reason. For some women who don’t enjoy sex, it would not be a deal breaker. For me it would be as I wouldn’t want to get emotionally attached to someone that couldn’t please me in bed.

Yeah I think that's what I'm going to have to do. I just have to find the best way to do this.

I'm thinking something along the lines of not being ready for a relationship and wanting to be alone for a bit.

This will make sense to him due to my past and what I've shared or at least I hope it does as the last thing I want to do is hurt him.

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GigiAnnna · 24/10/2024 21:03

You can end a relationship for any reason you like without feeling guilty. You are not obligated to be with someone you don't want to be, nor are you obligated to be with a man with a small penis if you don't want to be. It's your decision and you can only do what makes you happy. Of course, you can soften the blow and say something generic like there is "no spark" as there is no need to be unkind and hurt his feelings over something he can't change.

Angela59 · 25/10/2024 04:40

May just say your just not feeling it between you both ?
Secind thoughts lol
Just be honest and say you’d love to stay friends xx

user1471505356 · 25/10/2024 09:55

Angela59, that first line is good, a pun?

Original poster

unfufillled · 25/10/2024 14:01

So update, I'm going to tell him tonight I don't want to see him again. He asked last night about where we were going and I said I didn't know and had to think about it. So that's why I think tonight would be a good time. That and when he asked about weekend plans I kinda had the ick and thought I don't know if I want to see you again.

I'm going with the not ready for a relationship. If he asks about just being casual I'm screwed

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MrBig0 · 25/10/2024 14:07

unfufillled · 25/10/2024 14:01

So update, I'm going to tell him tonight I don't want to see him again. He asked last night about where we were going and I said I didn't know and had to think about it. So that's why I think tonight would be a good time. That and when he asked about weekend plans I kinda had the ick and thought I don't know if I want to see you again.

I'm going with the not ready for a relationship. If he asks about just being casual I'm screwed

Not really, just say you don't do casual?

And can i ask what sort of size we are talking about here?

Original poster

unfufillled · 25/10/2024 14:55

I would say 3inches erect if it's even that

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Catza · 25/10/2024 17:54

This takes me back to my early 20s. Met a guy, dated for about 6 weeks, and he was wonderful. When the time came I couldn't really even find the penis. I had to let him down gently. I had to...
I don't agree with the sentiment that it is shallow. It's not about the looks, it's about a fundamental thing in a relationship. If sex doesn't work, the relationship is doomed anyway.

Original poster

unfufillled · 25/10/2024 19:33

Catza · 25/10/2024 17:54

This takes me back to my early 20s. Met a guy, dated for about 6 weeks, and he was wonderful. When the time came I couldn't really even find the penis. I had to let him down gently. I had to...
I don't agree with the sentiment that it is shallow. It's not about the looks, it's about a fundamental thing in a relationship. If sex doesn't work, the relationship is doomed anyway.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm sure a lot of women are ok with this but it's just not for me x

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GigiAnnna · 25/10/2024 19:44

It's fine don't worry about it. And for the poster who said it's the same as a man not liking a fat woman, it really isn't. Presumably if you don't fancy fat women, you wouldn't be shagging a fat woman. You don't know what a man's penis size is until you're on a sexual level. And a penis that is very under average is not conducive to satisfying penetration for a woman if you are purely down to the physicals.

Angelofmycoins · 25/10/2024 20:27

Agree with @GigiAnnna

A penis is a primary sexual characteristic.
Boob size is a secondary, fat isn't even a sexual characteristic. . .. the only comparison is vagina size I suppose.

My first time ever was with a man with a small penis. It was great for that purpose lol

IcyLilacZebra · 25/10/2024 23:45

Sex is a important fact for most relationships I wouldn't be with someone just cause I felt I had to and we wasn't sexually compatible life's to short I dated a man with a very small one once and it wasn't for at all didn't feel like I was even having sex I ended it because their was just nothing their to satisfy me sex is important to me because I have a high sex drive and thankfully now have a husband is the perfect match for me point being don't feel guilty about it

Ethylred · 26/10/2024 07:58

And, as if by magic, there is now a thread on vagina size. The MN verdict is that women are free to leave men with small cocks but the other way round men are bastards.

K8ate · 26/10/2024 09:47

Unfortunately there’s no easy way for you to gently let him down.
It would be pretty obvious to anybody that you were intimate and found out he had a small penis and then ended things.
Especially as you were ‘off’ that night.
He will be very well aware that he is small.

MrBig0 · 26/10/2024 15:31

Ethylred · 26/10/2024 07:58

And, as if by magic, there is now a thread on vagina size. The MN verdict is that women are free to leave men with small cocks but the other way round men are bastards.

What do you expect? This is mums net! Double standards are allowed don’t you know!

Ilovelifeveryverymuch · 27/10/2024 12:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Stephy1886 · 27/10/2024 12:40

Shame that you find it didn’t work for you

I do prefer 4-5inch which is on the shorter side

east to take and easy for blowjobs

Original poster

unfufillled · 27/10/2024 16:26

So it went ok, he said he was expecting it as I had been a bit off with him.

I just explained that I wasn't ready for a relationship. That due to my past I had to work on myself and that it wasn't until I was getting so intimate with someone else that I realised this.

I explained he was a great guy and that at a different time it might have been different. He asked about being friends but I told him I don't do friendship with people I date. (Also means if I meet someone else he doesn't need to know).

I think it went ok and well at least it's done now.

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