Small penis

[unfufillled]

Need advice, so I've met a wonderful man and it seemed to be going well.
The issue is last night we got intimate and his penis was very small. Not sure no rope is size but small.
Lets just say I could fit it easily in my hand and was struggling to give him any pleasure or at least feel like I was doing much but cupping it.
He was very attentive to me and made sure my pleasure was top of his priorities but this kinda put me off and by the time he actually tried penetration I couldn't feel a thing. It kinda felt like dry humping but without the actual sensations.
I know he noticed something was wrong and I brushed it off with I was feeling tender.

I didn't think I was a shallow person but maybe I am. And I always thought size wouldn't matter but I think it kind of does here. I like deep penetration and feeling full. With his I felt nothing.

Everything else until this point seemed great and he seemed like the perfect guy for me but now I'm not sure. Sex is important to me and I have quite a high sex drive so this was really disappointing. He's since messaged saying he felt I was a bit off with him last night and this morning before work and I've not responded (normal though for me). Part of me thinks we can get over this and try other things but at the same time maybe I can't and I should call it a day now.

Anyone any experience here and what they done? How they got over it ?

I've been married to a smaller man for 10 plus years. It isn't ideal in the bedroom due to his size. I love him dearly and would never let on to him how I feel about it. Unless you are willing to make the compromise I did you are better off ending it now. It won't get any better if he hasn't got what you need.

Shallow arnt you little Miss Perfect

I am a "size queen" who likes sexually dominant men, who have to be able to provide good, long-lasting penetrative sex. It is very important to me. However, I fell in love a man that has a 4-inch penis, suffers from Premature ejaculation, and is very submissive sexually. By the time I found all that out it was too late. I liked him like I had never liked a man before. I was in love with him before we had sex. You can imagine my disappointment when I found out. It was very difficult. At first I thought that I could improve things and make things OKish. It did not take long to realise that he would never be able to satisfy me in bed. I was very sexually frustrated, even though he made such an effort. He is very good at oral, and with toys, and his hands, and he is very sensual and also kinky, but it was never going to be good enough and we both knew it. But I loved him and my son loved him. He loved us... I was not willing to give up on that. We were always very open with each other regarding the problem we faced, and the fact that he is a very confident man helped that. I always felt like I could tell him the truth. We found a way around it by agreeing that I could have a lover. It has worked very well for us and he is the best man in the world, who I love as much now as I ever did.

*I met a lady and everything was going well but she's huge. I mean really fat.
*
I didn't think I am a shallow person but maybe I am. And I always thought size wouldn't matter but I think it kind of does here. *

Can you imagine if a man posted this. He'd be hung drawn and quartered here. lol.*

I don't see the problem with saying this doesn't work for you, everyone's different. Personally I hate a man banging off my cervix (especially when they think it's your g spot!) and would much prefer he was good in other ways as I don't orgasm from PIV anyway - so I'm sure he'll find someone suited to him. Better to let him down gently now like you have than keep trying to make it work when you know it doesn't.

You would know if someone was very over weight before you had sex with them though. And there are plenty of people who aren't attracted to obese people (and plenty that are or don't care) but there's nothing wrong with not finding them attractive. It's ok not to want to go out with someone who's obese, it's not shallow it's just personal choice.

Admirable arrangement, one that I can relate too entirely.

My best friend, my rock is a former intimate partner that understands my needs this way x

No thats totally different scenario, it would the equivalent of a man ending a relationship because a woman had a vagina that was 2inches deep.

In the case of fat or boob size, both can to a large extent be changed with life style or surgery - not that i'm advocating boob jobs at all before i get hit upon, my point is that these things can be changed, a very small penis is much harder, excuse the pun, to get over.

I couldn't go out with a man who had a tiny penis.

I feel very lucky because I would never have separated from him. The love we had for him, and him for us, outweighed my sexual frustration. I would never have been fully happy though, because sex is a big priority for me. It was my idea to cuckold him. It was obvious from the start that although assertive in general, he was very submissive sexually. I think this is partly due to his sexual inadequacies. I would tease him about his small penis etc etc and it turned him on in a big way. I knew that there was a good chance that me being with another man who is far more capable in bed than he is it would excite him, and it does. The great thing is that the type of relationship I have is like a circle that constantly replenishes itself, so it always feels fresh and exciting.

It’s more like a flat chested women wearing chicken fillets to lie about her chest size, yea it changed, buts is painful and expensive

Your not alone in this, I have a platonic pal who loves to hear about my sexual liaisons with other guys and I know of another couple who enjoy the cuckold scene and everything that goes with it.
Their honesty and openness has kept a beautiful marriage intact.

It's absolutely fine to dump him for any reason you wish. You are not shallow, and do not be guilt tripped by the stupid 'it's like dumping a woman because she has small boobs or is fat' comments.
It is not the same thing, as a man doesn't tend to have his penis on display.
And a tiny cock is incredibly frustrating.

it's like dumping a woman because she has small boobs

its more like a woman who has small boobs and wears a padded bra

@Joey699

A man doesn't tend to rely on a woman's boobs to orgasm.
A woman tends to need a decent sized penis to orgasm.
That's just my view anyway!

No, but if a man likes bigger boobs then a woman with bigger boobs might turn him on more.

As for dick size, the average vagina stretches to around 6' so a big dick really isn't that important, plus only 18% of woman orgasm from penetration with most orgasming through clitoral stimulation rather than vaginal penetration...

i didn’t think most women relied on PIV to orgasm, whereas some men might find larger breasts more attractive, so yeah I would say it’s pretty similar really

Yep

It's not the same as boobs or being overweight at all.
Some bodies fit well together, and it would appear that others don't. We shouldn't be made to feel ashamed or called shallow because of it. @unfufillled , you seem to have ended things in the nicest possible way, and that's all you can do. It didn't work for you, and that's ok.

Am going through something similar, and I have really fallen hard for him. So we are trying to make it work. Taking on a third party wouldn't be an option, (nor do I want too!) but it is weird, and we are not having sex as much as I have at this stage in previous relationships.

I have never experienced sex where we have had to consider things such as lube or positions before (sex has typically been very penis-centric, which I am absolutely fine with, plus I am a woman who responds quickly, orgasms easily, and even through PIV), so I am having to learn a lot. It has knocked my confidence quite a bit, as my usual go to's moves are not working.
He has told me he is worried he is not 'enough', and I have told him that it isn't an issue. Plus, I am taller than anyone he has dated before, and that is hard for him.

I am going to stick with it because I think he is totally wonderful, and it appears that he feels the same way about me, but it would be wrong to say that it has not impacted upon our sex life, ultimately.

It's not the same as boobs or being overweight at all.

how can you possibly say that? , do you speak for all people on the planet?

The difference is:

for some woman a smaller penis makes a man less SEXUALLY attractive.

for some men, smaller boobs ( or bigger boobs ) might make a woman less PHYSICALLY attractive.

But surely that’s the same thing ?

if a given man doesn’t think a woman is physically attractive he is not going to find the same woman sexually attractive either 🤷🏼‍♂️

Fascinating.

I grew up with a very small penis. Went through an all boys school, faced tons of ridicule and abuse. Went through the datibg scene and read tons of magazines and websites that fall over themselves to say "size does not matter".

Gaslit when I have said that for many girls, size does matter.

The responses here clearly indicate that it does.

Refreshing and validating.

I'm very glad something genuinely helpful has come out of this discussion for you.

My feeling is that size does and doesn't matter, depending on the context in which it is referenced. From a purely sexual pov, a mininimum standard size is better for many women, although this itself is variable depending on their own internal proportions. And the conundrum is that, in truth, below a certain size will not have the same satisfying effect on a woman, and yet how can one reject a man one might love in all other ways, 'just' because of his (genetically dictated) dimensions?

Of course the reason why women say 'size doesn't matter' is because they don't want to be mean and criticise a guy for something he can't control.

I suspect that for a man in this situation, it might mean it's a harder challenge to find the right woman, one who either doesn't mind or still finds a smaller size ok for her.

It potentially makes life harder. (...) But I suspect that being open about it with a partner is the first most important step to finding a way to deal with it.

All dicks are cool, anyhow, regardless of dimensions, imo. A piece of superb engineering.