Hi everyone
First post and a bit deep.
I have been married for 15 years. Sex with my husband has always been bad, since we were dating. We only dated for a year before getting married. I was quite young and naive about sex so I didn't know any better but loved him so it wasn't that important to me.
He's always struggled with ejaculating, which in my naive and ignorant mind, I just thought he was one of those guys who lasted a long time (not a bad thing right?!) eventually I started thinking he just didn't find me attractive enough or maybe I was just so bad at sex that I wasn't able to make a guy come (although I had sex with other people before meeting him and that was never the case). As the years have gone by it got progressively worse to the point of him not being able to have an erection. Now I know that not being able to ejaculate is an actual medical condition that can eventually cause erectile disfunction.
He never wanted to even talk about it let alone see a doctor about it. I've stayed quiet and faithful for so many years that now sex is not even a part of our relationship. We don't talk about it, we don't think about it.
I recently turned 40 and feel like I have wasted my best years on this man and not having sex, but at the same time I can't bring up the courage to leave and I don't even know if I want to. I still love him and what kind of person would I be for leaving someone because they have a medical condition right?!
I don't know what to do or even think. This is so messed up isn't it?