Partners masturbating?

[lucyandmike]

Does anyone know if their partner masturbates or not? Do you mind if they do or don't?

It's never been a secret between me and my husband, but I have a close girl friend who was upset to find out it was something her husband still did and she really would prefer him not to. I did tell her that I expected her husband was not the only married guy that did!

Yes my DP does I have no problem with it at all and I also do so through toys which he also does not mind. We both understand when we are not together to sort out the desire we just sort ourselves out (we don't live together but are in process of getting place together)

Your friends attitude sounds very like an ex friend of mine she often complained about her partner masturbating and even seemed to take offence at it. Also openly admitted to spying on him to catch him in the act

It really is. She's very against masturbation and not for religious reasons either as she's not religious at all

Not sure how I would feel if I found out my wife was spying on me whilst masturbating. I’m quite open to most things but that sounds a bit intrusive.

Exactly this! Everyone is entitled to privacy even when living with partners.

I know DP does and I've no issue with it at all

We both masturbate on our own and know each other does it still. I do it more than him and he doesn't mind at all, in fact he loves knowing I do.

Excuse my language, but what a load of bollocks

solution is to just masturbate together sometimes

This attitude is controlling to the extreme.

When you have sex with someone, you offer to share your body with another person. They should do so with respect, kindness and passion, but they do not own the other party’s body.

Firstly it is not all about men and ejaculation. Women masturbate too. The needs for 1:1 sex and “me time” are quite different. I masturbate more or less every day, it requires no prep (save sometimes getting a vibey out of a top bedside drawer), relieves any stress, needs no discussion and time is my own.

1:1 sex requires more effort and for me, every day would be too much, combined with daily life and commitments; perhaps different on holidays.

Obviously, if someone is have infrequent 1:1 sex through choice, there are other issues at stake here.

That wouldn't work for everyone. I see masturbation as a method of self care. And I like to play out my fantasy in my head when I'm completely alone with no distractions. It can just be 5 mins solo time, it doesn't need to be a big event.

I've always been curious to know what fantasies my wife is playing out in her head, she isn't particularly open in sex talk so not sure I'll ever ask the question. It only got me thinking after she said I had to leave the room once so she could finish as I was a distraction. I wasn't doing anything at the time so I assume I play no part of what happens in her head! 😬 I'd like to know but obviously it's her personal space so won't ask

Total rubbish!

We’ve not been together long and don’t live together but he knows that I do when I’m alone and I assume
he does too because he commented that he hadn’t done it at all when on holiday without me. He tends to come first through PIV so I’ll sometimes “finish myself off” which he finds a turn on or he’ll do it by hand

I find this quite interesting. I’ve never had to finish myself off because my husband always does it for me (he usually makes sure I’ve come first). Does he just lie back once he’s done and leaves you to it? I just find it a bit odd/lazy but nice to see he does sometimes help you out.

@DixonD no not just “lie back and leave me
to it”, there’s always still kissing and cuddling and
he often does oral before PIV and I often come then so
anything else is a bonus!

That’s good then 😊

Pretty sure DW doesn’t, she used to say she never had in her life, also pretty certain she knows I do but never mentions it, as to this issue about men needing to ejaculate, what I do know is there’s a lot of evidence to say it helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer

My DH does it every three days if we haven't had sex in that time, but only because @Thenewguy explained to him that he would explode otherwise.

It's ridiculous that she would prefer him not to masturbate. It's nothing to do with her!

I'd expect any of my partners to masturbate, and I'd assume they'd be astute enough to know that I do too. It's perfectly normal and healthy behaviour.

In my opinion, people who get hung up on this are usually incredibly insecure. They somehow see their partner's masturbation as a threat or something to be jealous of, as if it lessens their value in the relationship.

What a load of absolute twaddle.

And you might want to Google the meaning of "literate" too...

A bit late… last weeks debate

We both do it and enjoy doing it. It is not a secret at all between us as we both have quite high sex drives and understand that there are times we just need to get off.

I still masturbate and I wouldn’t be offended if my partner did. It’s completely normal.