Partner gets exhausted quickly when on top

[ZonkedinBed]

I'm currently in the early stages of a relationship with a new man. He is in his mid-30s. We have had sex a couple of times and when he has been on top (which is my preferred position), he gets exhausted to the point where he has to stop completely. He will say he needs to take a break to get his breath back. He will be panting and sweating like someone who has just ran a marathon. This happens after about 2 minutes of thrusting from him at the most. He pleasures me in other ways, but it seems unusual to me that he gets tired so quickly during intercourse. He isn't overweight and doesn't seem to be outwardly unwell. He doesn't go to the gym or anything like that though. What would you expect to be a normal amount of time for sex to last when the man is on top?

That sounds like he might need to see his GP. Does he have trouble with other forms of aerobic exercise?

Can you work around it and use other positions?

It sounds like he's doing all the work while you just lie back. What's his preferred position?

That doesn't sound right - unless he is really going for it at a million miles an hour! Even in by biggest and unfittest I could manage 5 without getting too knackered!

A man I know has Atrial Fibrilation, an uneven heart rate. He has been living with it and doing running, all seemed OK. Recently he has slowed down and has to walk everywhere.
The effects are now much worse, he has been advised to limit his exercise to what he can do comfortably. Not push himself as he used to.

Ask him if he would like you to go on top, that would be less of a work out for him.

Are you making an equal effort or just lying there while he does all the work?

@fieldsofbutterflies Oh shush. How is the OP meant to make equal effort when she's in that position??

That's really worrying OP and it's not normal. I would expect it of a man who's overweight, has heart problems, or has reduced lung capacity or asthma, but other than that, no. Not even for a man who lives a very sedentary lifestyle.

Makes me wonder how fast he's thrusting exactly! Like is he going at his like a Duracell rabbit??

How long do you last on top?

@EarthSight bore off with your "shush" 🙄

It's a valid point that plenty of other people have raised so I'm not sure why you felt the need to call me out for it 🥱

As per other posters, how does he fair in other positions?
maybe he doesn’t like being on top

Seriously: if this is literally 2 min and he's heaving like that, he should have his health checked. Can he climb stairs without getting out of breath?

Having sex is meant to be the equivalent exercise to walking up two flights of stairs which most healthy people should be able to do. Having said that if he is 'on top', supporting his body with his arms/ hands that is probably more of a wok out.

What is his exercise tolerance like in other activities? Does he get short of breath walking, going up hills etc? Is he on any medication that you know of? Beta blockers for hypertension & other things do limit your exercise tolerance.

Thanks for your responses. I was worried that people might say I should LTB, which would have been very harsh. I asked him about this and he said he gets a bit tired going up flights of stairs. Also I think it's normal for the woman to not be doing much of the work when the man is on top. He doesn't get as tired with me on top however.

if he gets a bit tired going up a flight of stairs- that needs looking into more than anything else

If he’s not obese he might have an iron or B12 deficiency if he’s generally healthy but fatigues quickly. Get him to the GP

I think he should see a gp, I'm 40 and can go for almost half hour with quite hard and fast, into and doggy... I have s small breather then come back for more... it's could be fitness or a labido issue?

If after 2 mins tops he is like this, it's nothing to do with him putting in all the effort.

All 2 minutes 🙄