Don't get wet anymore

[namechange3030]

NC for this.

Title says it all really- I just don't get wet anymore.

I used to get very wet when aroused, and it would actually get me more aroused as a result, but now... nothing. I feel much less up for sex generally than I did 5 years ago so I don't get wet, but without getting wet I don't feel up for sex, and it's just a vicious circle.

I am not pre menopausal (had all the tests) and nothing else has changed- not weight or health or medication or anything.

I do still have sex with my DH but even when we're doing it I'm not wet- previously just the act of sex (particularly penetration) would be enough to get the juices flowing but it's not unusual for us to finish sex and I'm still mostly dry down there.

Is there no hope for me? Or is there anything I can take to get wet again?

Help!

This sounds very uncomfortable for you both which I guess isn't going to help your desire to have sex. I would really recommend you find a decent lube which works for you which will at least make things more enjoyable.

As for your libido are there things going on in your life just now which might be having an impact on your ability to enjoy sex - tiredness, stress, etc? If so are there things you could do to minimise these?

Good luck!

Thanks for replying!

We have just moved house which has been a stressful couple of months, but honestly this issue has been going on for over a year I'd say.

We do use lube, but honestly aside from it helping physically I hate using it- it just reminds me that I no longer get wet naturally and honestly I find it a bit triggering/upsetting!

You need vaginal oestrogen!

Tests don't confirm if you're menopausal or not, symptoms do and vaginal dryness is a symptom!

Ask your GP or practice nurse!

@redvelvet77 oh really? I’d love to hear more about this. I thought they could diagnose it from blood tests- I had FSH and all the other ones (can’t remember the names now).

I will ask my GP about the vaginal oestrogen!

How old are you?
If peri menopausal (under 50 roughly) then your FSH will be up and down like a yoyo each day so no it is not accurate.
Perimenopause is diagnosed on symptoms.
Vaginal oestrogen is a v low dose, delivered locally so works locally. Vaginal dryness can be awful, itchy/painful and make sex painful.
Definitely don't suffer in silence and speak to GP/nurse x

No solutions just empathy! I have the same issue. I had several years without much sex/ good sex so I didn't really notice it had stopped until I met an amazing new partner. Vaginal oestrogen has helped with general symptoms of dryness and discomfort but I didn't regain the physical response to being aroused. I also miss that feeling 😢 and it does make me feel a bit shit too.

I'm 37, so age wise it stacks up!

Sympathies @AltitudeCheck, and sorry to hear that the vaginal oestrogen doesn't completely solve the problem.

@namechange3030 don't let that discourage you from trying it. I think the earlier you start, the better the chances of stopping the changes.

When I had this problem I used Balance Activ. It's a little pessary that you put in at night- it really helped me. But definitely speak to your GP too x

I've had to use lube since my early 30s and it's about finding the right one, and never forgetting to pack it for a holiday!!

Commiserations OP, I am also 37 and about two years ago the tap got turned off too. GP not helpful at all. I hate using lube too, feel like a bloke having to use viagra and like im letting my partner down.

Durex do an unusual shaped lube container, that l had pulled out for a double check at Heathrow security.

Aside from that, OP, what are you doing for contraception? There could be a connection.

Starlightlady I have had mine taken out too recently! But I'm not embarrassed or worried about it and my husband certainly isn't either