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Original poster

Masturbating in a relationship

16 replies

eliseH1998 · 20/08/2023 21:37

Do most people still masturbate when in a a relationship and living together? I moved in with my boyfriend earlier this year, and I have caught him at it a number of times, usually watching porn. I knew he did it and I don't mind but thought he may not need to do it quite so much now.

OP posts:
xpc316e · 20/08/2023 22:08

It is my experience that both men and women who are in relationships still masturbate. I think that it is entirely normal.

Pokotho · 20/08/2023 23:11

Both myself and my DW still masturbate and both know about it, it's not a secret. My wife in particular uses it to destress or relieve anxiety and sometimes to be able to get to sleep and neither of us want to just have sex for that purpose. Doesn't bother either of us and we have an active and satisfying mutual sex life as well.

ChangingMode · 20/08/2023 23:22

It seems you’re a bit confused making your threads very inconsistent. One minute you have a husband, the next a boyfriend. One minute he’s abstaining from wanking for years, the nexts he’s doing it multiple times a day. Advanced search is a interesting thing. Are you looking for people to share stories with? 🧐

GigiAnnna · 21/08/2023 10:11

It's normal. I see sex and masturbation as two separate things. It's something I do when I have time alone and helps me relieve stress and relax. Actually, I find the more I orgasm alone, the more I want sex.

StarlightLady · 21/08/2023 12:21

OP, you appear to be unsure whether you are married or not. 🤔

Sortmylifeout52 · 21/08/2023 15:42

Yep, I do.
I find it a great stress reliever.

I sometimes just want to orgasm quickly when I'm on my own. I can do this myself within a couple of minutes.

Then I want my partner to touch me later on and again the orgasm is different. The build up is better, but not so intense.

All healthy and normal.

LlynTegid · 21/08/2023 16:31

Normal yes, the watching porn is what should concern you OP. Giving him expectations and after a while he could start asking for things that you are not comfortable with which he will consider 'normal'.

Noizettely · 21/08/2023 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BIWI · 21/08/2023 21:10

Don't bother sending that to a publisher Hmm

Noizettely · 21/08/2023 21:24

I just posted it here. No intention of publishing it elsewhere. Why do you say that?

ChangingMode · 22/08/2023 04:04

Don't bother sending that to a publisher

Ridiculous isn’t it, an OP with an inconsistencies across posts clearly looking for shared stories and now a poster writing shit erotic fiction.

Come on mumsnet, sort this shit out.

Catullus5 · 22/08/2023 06:25

There's no plaice for this sort of thing, you know.

ladymichelleZ · 21/11/2023 03:03

We both still do often. We have talked about it plenty of times, including closer when we got together, which was a bit embarrassing, but we both like to masturbate in addition to partner sex.

MarkT · 02/01/2024 01:21

Myself and wife are married with young kids. Having regular sex isn't easy to get the privacy but both still have needs. We both still regularly masturbate. It's an important part of overall sex life and ensuring both satisfied.

KirstyHD1 · 03/01/2024 15:54

Both my hubby and I separately masturbate. It is not an alternative to or substitute for sex. It is a separate sexual activity which is hugely enjoyable. During my 1st marriage I secretly masturbated. I was too embarrassed to tell my hubby as I thought he would think there was something wrong with the marriage. As regards sex there was no problem with the marriage. I then came across some hidden porn magazines that he had and I realised that he was also masturbating in secret. I was bringing myself around to talking about it openly when the marriage collapsed for other reasons.

When I started dating the man who subsequently became my 2nd husband and I realised I was falling in love with him I thought I was not going to have the problem I mentioned above. So on the 3rd date I invited him around for dinner with the aim of having sex with him. When we were on our second bottle of wine I plucked up the courage to tell him that I masturbated and enjoyed it and saw it as something additional to sex and was going to continue even if we had a relationship. He was so relieved and told me he loved masturbating as well and did not want to stop even though in a relationship.

So we both masturbate privately on our own. He does it in his room in front of his computer. I assume he is on the internet looking at porn. it is a private matter for him and I don't ask him about what he looks at or what he does. Our relationship is terrific in all aspects, including sex with each other, he treats me well, we are both very loyal to each other, so I am fine with it all

eatdrinkandbemerry · 20/01/2024 08:31

We've been together over 30 years and we both masterbate at times.
It's a nice way to relax in my opinion

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