Tight foreskin | Mumsnet

Jane881 · 2023-06-21T20:54:19+00:00

My new partner has this. I've only had one sexual partner, my daughters father. He needs alot of lube and seems to take longer to orgasm at times. Maybe it's me? 😬 Not sure what I can do to make things feel better for him? The lube goes on in its droves which I'm not a fan off 😬😂

xpc316e · 21/06/2023 22:26

This is known as phimosis. Google it for potential treatments. For hygiene reasons the foreskin needs to be retracted in order to clean the glans. Poor penile cleanliness is bad for both of you. A side effect can be longer stimulation required to orgasm.

He needs to see a GP and get it sorted.

Best wishes.

acpk55 · 21/06/2023 22:38

As per previous pp , needs a GP visit, might end up with antibiotics or a circumcision

Original poster

Jane881 · 21/06/2023 22:49

Oh really? I say new partner but we've been together 16 months now. I don't think he's ever been to the GP about this?
I assumed it was just something he had and had to use lube for.

OP posts:

acpk55 · 21/06/2023 23:01

More common in adolescence males, less common in adults

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/phimosis/

Tight foreskin (phimosis)

Find out about tight foreskin (phimosis), including what you can do to ease a tight foreskin and when to get medical help.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/phimosis/

Yorkieboy · 22/06/2023 07:04

I was diagnosed with Phismosis in my mid 30's.

In truth retracting the foreskin had been tight and painful for many years but being your typical man the last thing I wanted was doctors poking and prodding so I put off going to get it checked out.

So glad I went though. Have since had a circumcision and its so much better.

Blushingm · 22/06/2023 21:15

My ex dh was circumcised at 33 because of this

Original poster

Jane881 · 22/06/2023 22:42

Thank you! Once it's back it seems to be ok if that makes sense. I genuinely don't think I could mention circumcision to him, maybe the doctors but I get the feeling he's just got on with it all these years.

TMI but I've noticed I've had discomfort down there mainly after sex and wondered if it's linked? To the posted who mentioned hygiene on his part, I've never noticed anything in this department x

OP posts:

Yorkieboy · 23/06/2023 12:20

Jane881 · 22/06/2023 22:42

Thank you! Once it's back it seems to be ok if that makes sense. I genuinely don't think I could mention circumcision to him, maybe the doctors but I get the feeling he's just got on with it all these years.

TMI but I've noticed I've had discomfort down there mainly after sex and wondered if it's linked? To the posted who mentioned hygiene on his part, I've never noticed anything in this department x

Circumcision won't be the first choice, they will probably offer him a cream first to apply to see if that helps to loosen the foreskin and make it more easy to retract if that doesn't work then they will refer him to a specialist to discuss it.

Before I was done sex was painful unless lots of lube was involved. I used to turn down hand and blow jobs because the act of pulling the skin over the head used to cause me pain. I never really thought about the cleanliness aspect but now I think back I cant have been cleaning it as well as I should or could have done

Original poster

Jane881 · 23/06/2023 19:57

Yorkieboy · 23/06/2023 12:20

Circumcision won't be the first choice, they will probably offer him a cream first to apply to see if that helps to loosen the foreskin and make it more easy to retract if that doesn't work then they will refer him to a specialist to discuss it.

Before I was done sex was painful unless lots of lube was involved. I used to turn down hand and blow jobs because the act of pulling the skin over the head used to cause me pain. I never really thought about the cleanliness aspect but now I think back I cant have been cleaning it as well as I should or could have done

Show quote history

He's not turned down these things but definitely needs the lube during intercourse. I'll be more mindful re the other two 😬 I've noticed it completely covers his penis when erect too? I'm maybe just not au fait with penises!

OP posts:

Bapbap45 · 23/06/2023 23:19

Your discomfort could be the lube, can you select the lube that suits you? I know flavoured ones can cause issues for some for instance.

namechanged1010 · 24/06/2023 07:33

He definitely needs to see a doctor given it doesn’t retract when erect. The cleanliness cannot be good and that can as mentioned harbour infections but also raise his cancer risk. He may be used to it as that’s all he has ever known.
Maybe you raising it will be the push he needs. As said, the GP may try a steroid cream but I understand results are mixed. My ex (who had this) went straight for circumcision which was by far the best answer for him. It removed his foreskin and took minutes as a procedure, and once he recovered (few weeks) sex was amazing (I loved how he looked as well).

Good luck

Original poster

Jane881 · 24/06/2023 09:09

namechanged1010 · 24/06/2023 07:33

He definitely needs to see a doctor given it doesn’t retract when erect. The cleanliness cannot be good and that can as mentioned harbour infections but also raise his cancer risk. He may be used to it as that’s all he has ever known.
Maybe you raising it will be the push he needs. As said, the GP may try a steroid cream but I understand results are mixed. My ex (who had this) went straight for circumcision which was by far the best answer for him. It removed his foreskin and took minutes as a procedure, and once he recovered (few weeks) sex was amazing (I loved how he looked as well).

Good luck

Sorry I meant it covers it when erect, but will retract! Just still needs lube x

OP posts:

Sens · 24/06/2023 09:32

Tell him he will not regret having this fixed. My guess is that he has no problem cleaning when not erect but when erect the skin is tight and he gets small “cuts” during sex if there is not plenty of lube. When the cuts heal the skin gets thicker over the years so this will only get worse. He can choose to take all the forskin or just enough to solve this. I chose not to remove it all and it works very well. The procedure is no big thing.

Yorkieboy · 26/06/2023 11:06

He definitely won't regret it if he gets it done.

I was nervous and even on the day was thinking should I back out. So glad I didnt.

The procedure lasted about an hour I think, maybe less. I was awake through all of it and just had local anaesthetic injected around the base of my penis which I have to admit hurt like fuck!!

One disturbing thing was the video screen where I could actually watch it being done but there wasn't really anywhere else to put my eyes and the wanted me to keep them open throughout.

Recovery time, I went back to work the next morning and once the bandage came off it was very sensitive but a home made device of a cut up kitchen roll tube wrapped in tissue sort of protected me a bit.

Advice is to wait 6-8 weeks to have sex or masturbate, I think I managed 4 before a very gentle play because I couldn't cope. Then another couple of weeks for sex.

Since then sex has been better it feels much nicer and the wife also agrees and says she can feel me more and it feels bigger. From a looks point of view I also think it looks a lot nicer

pendleflyer · 26/06/2023 11:55

Yorkieboy · 26/06/2023 11:06

He definitely won't regret it if he gets it done.

I was nervous and even on the day was thinking should I back out. So glad I didnt.

The procedure lasted about an hour I think, maybe less. I was awake through all of it and just had local anaesthetic injected around the base of my penis which I have to admit hurt like fuck!!

One disturbing thing was the video screen where I could actually watch it being done but there wasn't really anywhere else to put my eyes and the wanted me to keep them open throughout.

Recovery time, I went back to work the next morning and once the bandage came off it was very sensitive but a home made device of a cut up kitchen roll tube wrapped in tissue sort of protected me a bit.

Advice is to wait 6-8 weeks to have sex or masturbate, I think I managed 4 before a very gentle play because I couldn't cope. Then another couple of weeks for sex.

Since then sex has been better it feels much nicer and the wife also agrees and says she can feel me more and it feels bigger. From a looks point of view I also think it looks a lot nicer

>>One disturbing thing was the video screen where I could actually watch it being done but there wasn't really anywhere else to put my eyes and the wanted me to keep them open throughout.

what was all that about? puts me in mind of barbers who start to ask before each cut whether you want them to do it - as if they are passing responsiblity to me, "You're supposed to know what you are doing" I always think.

Sens · 26/06/2023 13:03

Haha, it was the other way around when Inhad this done… I asked if I could take al look a
but the nurse said: “No, you don’t want to have this picture in your mind forever”!

LoopyLoo1991 · 26/06/2023 13:08

This triggers flashbacks to "smegma boy" from TVs Sex Clinic in 2019:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6675055/amp/The-man-NEVER-cleaned-penis.html

He'd slept with forty women and gotten blowjobs 🤢

Your partner needs to get it sorted. A full circumcision might not be needed? A guy on Embassing bodies just had a V shape slit on his.

The man who has NEVER cleaned his penis

The man - known only as Zach - was examined by Dr Naomi Sutton of E4's The Sex Clinic. The Sheffield-based consultant diagnosed the 24-year-old with a serious case of smega build-up.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6675055/amp/The-man-NEVER-cleaned-penis.html

LoopyLoo1991 · 26/06/2023 13:09

•Shaped not shape

Yorkieboy · 26/06/2023 13:36

pendleflyer · 26/06/2023 11:55

>>One disturbing thing was the video screen where I could actually watch it being done but there wasn't really anywhere else to put my eyes and the wanted me to keep them open throughout.

what was all that about? puts me in mind of barbers who start to ask before each cut whether you want them to do it - as if they are passing responsiblity to me, "You're supposed to know what you are doing" I always think.

Show quote history

It was a strange experience like a close up view of him cutting away bits of me. Overall the surgery was a good experience, the staff were great and one guy kept talking to me throughout. I couldn't feel much due to the anaesthetic but he tried to keep my mind off what was happening.

I guess it was a bit like a running commentary of what he was doing but in video format

pendleflyer · 26/06/2023 16:50

Yorkieboy · 26/06/2023 13:36

It was a strange experience like a close up view of him cutting away bits of me. Overall the surgery was a good experience, the staff were great and one guy kept talking to me throughout. I couldn't feel much due to the anaesthetic but he tried to keep my mind off what was happening.

I guess it was a bit like a running commentary of what he was doing but in video format

Show quote history

:)
still bemused by idea of keeping your mind of things while getting you to watch.
I may have had to have had this done when younger but it sorted itself out.
OP - I'd get him to have the OP.

Moonmelodies · 26/06/2023 19:53

Why not put a condom over it?