How to introduce sex aids into the bedroom

[VampireVictim]

I've been in this FWB / fuck buddies type situationship with this guy for a couple of years now. A few weekends ago I was just browsing online. One Google search lead to another, and I ended up buying this sex wedge that I've been interested in trying. I want to try it with my FWB, but I'm worried he thinks I'm implying normal sex with him is "boring", and I'm trying to spice things up. It's absolutely not boring. I just liked the look of this wedge pillow thing. I tried putting a normal pillow under my bum once to lift my hips up and he just looked at me and was like "what are you doing? what is this supposed to do?" which makes me think he might not be too receptive of this. Is there a fun way I can try and entice him to use it?

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Is it a Liberator wedge? I love ours, well worth it! Tell him you read good reviews about it and fancied giving it a go, there’s nothing for him to get weird about!

Just do it and tell him it will make the experience better for both of you. ( put it underneath you & point your bum in air… )

oddly enough I’m in the same but opposite position ( I’m male ), & want to introduce a toy with my FWB, and am worried she might the sex is boring if I do that …

Yes that's the one the reviews looked amazing!

It's difficult, isn't it?

How do you word it without accidentally offending them?

I just bought ours and unboxed it with DP in a ‘ta-da’ kinda way. It’s so fun!

Did he know you were buying it or were you just like "looks what's come in the post"?

I've already unboxed mine. I wanted to practice getting on and off the thing in a somewhat sexy way

Most men, I assume, would be grateful that you were wanting to experiment and spice things up.

He's a fuck buddy...who cares what he thinks?

I would like him to continue being my fuck buddy

Yes I'm possibly just overthinking this!

@VampireVictim I’m the sex toy purchaser in my relationship, DP just goes with the flow. That was good thinking to practice!

I've got a wedge. I really like it.

I'd love my partner to bring something into the bedroom. Her proactiveness would be a massive turn on to me.

I think as a FB couple you should be quite open?

@VampireVictim
my person is quite reserved & I don’t want to offend her, but according to MaxTalk I shouldn’t care what she thinks!

He's a man, of course he will continue. I don't know of many men who will give up sex.

It will get samey after a while so start looking for someone new.

Yeah, who cares if we offend them? These perfectly lovely people, with their own thoughts and feelings, who we also happen to care about.

We are comfortable with each other but he gets a bit funny during sex sometimes.

Like, he'll instigate anal sex, but if I suggest we use some lube, he will panic and be all "no no no you don't need to do that, honestly no don't worry we don't have to do that, it's fine" and carry on with PIV.

I've got a feeling that he's going to be the same with the wedge.

Men do have feelings and opinions too you know and, I quite like samey!

Maybe talk to him, and ask why he is reserved about toys etc?

Tell him you would like to try the wedge, as you think it will enhace the already great sex - possibly hint you might orgasm more as he'll hit some different spots - that sort of thing.

Re lube, that's an odd one.. Again, a chat wouldn't hurt.. If you are up for anal, tell him so, but explain that lube would make things much easier for you both..

That sounds like a really poor attitude you have there.

Is there a possibility that he’s trying to appear more sexually experienced than he actually is? And with sex you kinda have to open up and allow yourself to be vulnerable, or else you don’t learn.

He is a nice guy, and he gets very nervous about causing me any sort of pain.

There have been a few occasions during more "amorous sessions" if you will that he's left little bruises on my arms. He spotted them once and omg he was beside himself. He will stop what he's doing immediately if there's any sign that it's causing me pain (even the good kind of pain where I'm begging him to keep going!!!) I wonder if he's associating me asking for lube with me being in pain and that's why he won't continue.

I'm hopeful that because the wedge is different, he's going to be more open to trying it.

Possibly! Although he does have almost 20 years on me.

It's great that he doesn't want to cause you any pain, but he should also realise that you aren't made of china!

There might be something deeper going on - maybe there was some element of physical abuse in a previous relationship? maybe even his parents? If you were planning something more serious, I'd possibly suggest in-depth conversations, but with a FB / FWB? maybe not - your call.

I've caused bruises / lovebites during "amorous" sessions - and recieved them! It's never been an issue... but I quite like the more, er rumbunctious sessions , and there is a bit of the dominant about me...

He sounds very sweet but a little misguided. The lube is essential for preventing pain during anal. I would agree with @AverageGuy , it sounds like there’s something deeper here. Re: the sex toys: stroke his ego, reassure him they aren’t to replace him, just to enhance the experiences.
Re: the pain- I would have to dive deeper into that but it’s maybe not appropriate

I don't think we're at the sort of place to have a "were you abused in your childhood?" kind of conversation. Don't get me wrong, I do care about him and if he wanted to have those kind of chats then I'd be happy to listen. We have known each other a long time. But our relationship is purely sexual and that's all it will ever be, so it's really not my business to ask!

I quite like the more rambunctious sessions too and have even made a point of turning the volume up when he's in those kind of "moods", just so it's obvious that I want it to continue!