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Original poster

Hard for blow jobs but not sex

13 replies

Toiletfriend · 04/05/2023 22:48

New partner, early 50s, heavy smoker, moderate drinker, not overweight.

Takes awhile to get hard. Can come through oral sex and hand job but loses erection in PIV. Wanks every day. He thinks it's linked to smoking. Any views? Not keen on doctors.

OP posts:
Twirlywoo · 04/05/2023 22:53

Death grip?

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/05/2023 08:05

My view would be that the sex is shit, he isn’t willing to seek any help about it, and he’s a new partner - so rather than invest any more time, I’d throw him back. It isn’t likely to get any better.

goodf · 05/05/2023 09:28

Yeah, his issue is probably in no small part due to too much wanking.

If he isn't willing to refocus sexual energies on you I'd get rid too xx

Catullus5 · 05/05/2023 09:33

GP recently said to me that smoking can be a cause (I don't smoke) as is age (I'm approaching 50.)

Death grip & wanking: not things that were included on the GPs list.

NoDatingForOldMen · 05/05/2023 11:11

Linked to everything, he needs to stop smoking/ drinking/ wanking and get fit before he has a heart attack ( ED is the early warning flag)

Earlystartsmakemegrumpy · 05/05/2023 13:13

NoDatingForOldMen · 05/05/2023 11:11

Linked to everything, he needs to stop smoking/ drinking/ wanking and get fit before he has a heart attack ( ED is the early warning flag)

The stopping drinking and smoking is good advice, but no-one needs to stop wanking FFS. Death grip is only a thing on MN

NoDatingForOldMen · 05/05/2023 15:11

Earlystartsmakemegrumpy · 05/05/2023 13:13

The stopping drinking and smoking is good advice, but no-one needs to stop wanking FFS. Death grip is only a thing on MN

Show quote history

I didn’t mention death grip, so get off your high horse …

he just needs to get fit and have regular partnered sex

NDerbys32 · 05/05/2023 15:15

He needs a check with the GP. I know it's a 'bloke thing' not to go but that's irrelevant. Decreased performance can be a symptom of other things. Might be good to check that.

TheRussiansAreComing · 06/05/2023 08:36

You might find he will be able to come during PIV if he had a finger or two inserted in your anus. He can then apply pressure to his penis to make him come.

Inthebathagain · 06/05/2023 08:58

Sounds like my ex. He always got hard in my mouth or with my hand. I could make him come with both. There is nothing more depressing than the feel of a hard cock deflating inside you 15 seconds after it went in.

PIV was occasionally sustainable for him, and he would come after a short time, but he gave up going there as he found it too depressing.

And refused to go to the Dr.

Sorry that I have no answers OP. Just wanted to empathise.

Zippedydoo123 · 06/05/2023 14:17

He most likely has an addictive personality and sounds a liability.

Original poster
Toiletfriend · 06/05/2023 23:27

I've dumped him now anyway for other reasons so it's inconsequential

OP posts:
Zippedydoo123 · 07/05/2023 15:04

Toiletfriend · 06/05/2023 23:27

I've dumped him now anyway for other reasons so it's inconsequential

Good for you. No doubt he has had the same problem with other women.

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