Sex drive through roof early 40s

[Macmacma]

Last month or so my sex drive has absolutely gone through the roof. Married (for 12 years together for 16). Have two children 9 and 11- the last 11 years has been busy/ tiring etc- can’t lie have had weeks/ months where I really can’t be bothered with sex and generally my sex drive has been lower than husbands. Last couple of years sex has really reduced- he’d stopped instigating etc to the point I occasionally wondered if he might be sleeping with someone else.

Backstory done. Now aged 41, in the last 6 months or so I’ve started noticing other men (thought this was just being bored at home or soemthing tbh) but the last month or so my sex drive has gone through the roof. Literally want sex every day, multiple
times, thinking about it all. The. Time. Notice every single man who is appropriate age- so bin man, lifeguard, doctor, blokes in co op today. Imagining porn hub type scenarios (was last left in pool- imagined shagging life guard etc you get it).

I’ve also developed a crush on my boss-. I work hybrid and am torn between going in office to see him all (dunno if it’s wishful thinking/ imagination but I think I’ve noticed a couple of looks and a couple of things said) and staying at home and avoiding him as much as possible as I fear I might say soemthing/ act on it.

I feel like this is hormonal- feels like a strong urge….. I’m actually struggling to keep my mind on things…. And I’m a bit worried i might act on it……

Anyway has anyone had similar? Does it pass? Did you act on any of it? I want to just enjoy it but jees it feels ridiculous.

thanks for getting this far….

True! Just a bit tricky when you start thinking about other men who you heave to deal with all the time.

Not really as I fell for the OM and he is married! Should never have happened but did. We are still in touch a lot and it still gets hot but it’s painful for me a lot now. Made me realise what I was living with though!!!

When I was very young I thought the whole idea of sex was a bit yucky and disgusting. Surely if people loved each other they could give each other boxes of chocolates? Much more enjoyable! Then when I entered adolescence I had a major surge of feelings which took me by surprise. Looking back now, I think I had some narrow escapes because it could so easily have ended in tragedy, but I survived, fortunately. It wore off in my 20s - focussing on education, career and being in some crap relationships was a bit of a turn off. Now in my 30s feelings of this kind are having a bit of a renaissance. Having more control over one's destiny, being able to make better relationship choices, and feeling like I can ask for things I enjoy, in and out of the bedroom makes a difference, I suppose. Just goes to show how these things can wax and wane over the lifecourse. I'm making hay while the sun shines just now.

I feel it OP. But luckily I only have eyes for my DP.

My DP and I have a healthy sex life (usually at least daily). But over the last few months I just want more.

I think I’m menopausal - I’m 48 and periods are very irregular.

We’ve been together 10 years, but before that my sex life dwindled with my husband, (he left for the OW - poor her) we never spoke about it. We just had sex whenever and however he wanted it.

Am now in a relationship where we discuss sex, I feel we’re equal partners and we are both committed to 50/50 pleasure. Though I always feel I benefit more because he gets pleasure from my pleasure (if that makes sense).

I wonder whether your feelings about your boss are less about him and more about a feeling somehow. Needing that feeling of desire.

Are you still attracted to your husband? Could you have a discussion about rebooting your sex life?

Sudden rush of sexiness which I thought was about freedom after divorce.
It can be a surprise when another woman starts flirting with you and you find yourself trying to respond positively.
This is becoming a new learning curve.

Ooo seems our 40s are exciting times :)

Ah sounds like you have it right.

Hubby has stepped up can’t lie-frequency wise- we tend to do the same things and think I need to take a lead on that to mix it up.

yup I think the manager is incredibly nice- and sometimes mine and hubbys relationship can feel like it’s just parenting and real life, mundane stuff- whereas the chats with manager are just nice. Tbh it’s got to a point where it’s making me look forward to going to the office- which isn’t a bad thing - and I won’t be acting on it so I’m sure it’ll pass 😂

This is happening to me too. It’s refreshing to read the stories here.

I have never masturbated and DP doesn’t have sex with me often. This has always been manageable but recently I can’t stop thinking- it’s more than just thoughts though- about sex. I think this why I did what I did I think.

I am going to have to push my religious guilt aside to deal with these urges

I’ve been like this for the last 25 years 😂
The only thing that dampens things is the pill, it also makes me feel sad though.
I wonder if the reverse would happen to me? I wouldn’t feel like me then. I don’t want a surge though!

You really DON'T want a surge, it's time consuming!

Thank god someone wrote in about this! I am in peri myself 41 years old and i did also have a hysterectomy 6 years ago kept my ovaries i always had a good sex drive maybe a very odd dry patch after giving birth or c section but for last 6 months its like the devil has taken over my body i just want it 24/7 my hubby does have alot going on rite now and some medical things and i still cannot help myself if i didnt already fancy him jesus its even more so if possible now i just wana rip his clothes off constantly long may it last lol

I have found it doing my head in a bit to be honest! I started weight training and also eating better and taking zinc and magnesium, it has been transformative and helps me manage it a bit better. I mean it's not always helpful sitting at a desk at work suddenly having a huge urge for mad crazy sex. Though I am enjoying more of it too.

i am in my late 30s. This is happening to me. I have no clue if it’s because I’ve separated from my husband… or it’s peri… or perhaps a bit of both.