Is it me expecting more

[Chattymom35]

I've been with the same man since they age of 18. We have 4 children together and im general everything has been fine. Things started to go wrong maybe 3 years ago, he doesn't appear interested in sex at all, he might fancy a bit after a few drinks but never very often once a month at a push but then if you look though his history its all porn at least 5 times a week. There have been times I've woken up and he's lay in bed watching porn and pleasuring himself. I'm not the kind of person who believes men don't need to wank while with someone it doesn't bother me but instead of sleeping with me. We argue all the time but he always says don't leave me I love you. He drinks later more often than not to the point he doesn't remember anything the next day!!!! My mental health is at an all time low as I feel like I'm failing the kids

Your relationship sounds very difficult at present,I don’t think you’re expecting too much and honestly you deserve so much more. It sounds like your DP has developed a dependence on porn and alcohol and that is affecting his behaviour towards you.

I think you need to have a very serious conversation with him about the way forward, it’s not fair for you to be feeling so low. I would tread gently, be supportive and try not to lay blame but state firmly that his addiction is now having an impact on you and consequently your family.

Agree fully with the above

Addiction? Maybe, stuck in a rut? Quite possible, Lack of communication meaning both of you have lost your connection and as a result you both don't know where you are at together and it may really really need some effort from both of you?

I think it's possibly some of the above and my money is on the latter, talk, find some positive environment, a break from the norm, perhaps a night/weekend break or even a child free evening where you can both relax in a non judgemental atmosphere and be.

Has he any stress from work? Have you?

It may start bumpy but hopefully by the end of it you'll have an inkling of where to go from here, good luck!!