Male ejaculation problems, should we be concerned?

2021lady · 2023-01-29T10:27:14+00:00

Hi all My husband seems to be having ejaculation issues. When we have sex he'll ejaculate within maybe 10 minutes Then he can't ejaculate again for at least 3 days. No matter how much sex etc We are currently trying for baby number 2 and I'm not sure if this is an issue or not. We used to be able to do it daily but neither of us are as healthy as we were then and hubby has put a lot of weight on I'm just curious whether ejaculation once every 3 days is abnormal or not?? Any experiences? Thanks

Iloveabaconbutty · 29/01/2023 11:52

That's most definitely not normal. Whether the cause is physical (although it sounds as though he has no problem with the actual mechanics of ejeculation) or psychological I would say he needs to see his GP.

AverageGuy · 29/01/2023 12:22

It certainly doesn't sound normal. Depending on his age and health, he should be able to ejaculate at least once a day.

Definitely worth a trip to the GP, particularly as you are TTC - you might find that this is the tip of a larger issue.

Fingers crossed for you both.

Original poster

2021lady · 29/01/2023 13:52

He's only 30 so age shouldn't be a factor. There's definitely a psychological element to it but I'm just not sure whether he'll do anything about it. I'm gonna try and talk him in to seeing a gp

OP posts:

Coffeeandcake15 · 29/01/2023 14:02

If he’s overweight that could be a factor, or maybe it’s psychological as he feels under pressure to ejaculate in order for you to conceive. How long has this been happening?

Original poster

2021lady · 29/01/2023 14:22

I'm not really sure tbh. We've only now started having regular sex again and our daughter is almost 3. The last couple months we are more active etc but prior to that we was having once a week if not less. He thinks he's just gotten used to ejaculating less

OP posts:

Iloveabaconbutty · 29/01/2023 14:37

Do you know if he regularly mastubates to ejaculation? If he does this will presumably narrow the issue down to it happening only when you are having sex, with the possibility that it is a psychological issue. But I'm far from offering any expert advice here. Either way if he is persuadable the best assistance would come from a doctor.

Sparkybloke · 29/01/2023 16:42

I'm 58. I can ejaculate twice a day through masturbating although the second one will be ahem...less. At 30 i would have thought he should be able to ejaculate at least once a day so either he is masturbating a lot in between sex with you or there is some physical or psychological issue. What ever it is I hope you get it sorted.

Bellasara121 · 29/01/2023 17:14

Just a thought could he not want a second child and just does not have the heart to tell you? So he may be sabotaging himself such as making himself come before having sex with you?

lauraUK1000 · 29/01/2023 17:39

My DH has been on Sertraline for anxiety for about 18 months now and one of the main side effects for men is on sex drive and ejaculation. We still have plenty of sex but he rarely actually 'cums' now. He says it is still very pleasurable and we both like that he can go for much longer than before. Just checking he is not on any similar SSRI meds or anything?

Original poster

2021lady · 29/01/2023 18:07

So he does want another child but is also fine if it doesn't happen. But I don't think this is the issue tbh.
I know he is stressed about money and things as he's the only 1 working atm. Recently lost his job and just started another so this is probably playing a part
He is on medication for gout and they said this shouldn't affect anything but it may be that it does. I don't know.

OP posts:

Sparkybloke · 29/01/2023 18:39

If he is over weight and has gout at 30 he ( and you) would be wise to adopt a healthy lifestyle, lose wright and exercise. It will certainly help..

Iloveabaconbutty · 29/01/2023 19:03

It does sound like he's got things going on with his life and health which are causing him stress and anxiety plus the focus on TTC which are probably all contributing to the issue.

A family member had gout for a while and I know it can be very painful. He got a bit of ribbing from friends and colleagues that he must be knocking back too many bottles of Port, when actually it's nothing to do with that at all. It's something to do with the blood chrystalising in the feet/hands or something?

I hope he can get it sorted and you can get the issues resolved. All the best to you both!

Beneficialchampion2 · 29/01/2023 20:57

Either he's on anti depressants and the sensation is not there, or he's used so much porn he's become desensitised to it all.

lucyandmike · 31/01/2023 16:04

lauraUK1000 · 29/01/2023 17:39

My DH has been on Sertraline for anxiety for about 18 months now and one of the main side effects for men is on sex drive and ejaculation. We still have plenty of sex but he rarely actually 'cums' now. He says it is still very pleasurable and we both like that he can go for much longer than before. Just checking he is not on any similar SSRI meds or anything?

Sounds similar to my husband, he was on an SSRI anti-depressant for about a year and after a month or so just couldn't cum, he could wank for 30 minutes or more and still not squirt. I thought it would bother him but he said he didn't mind at all as it still felt good and he liked being able to last longer. It was also pretty great for our sex life as he could go as long as I needed rather than being done in a few minutes.

Joey69 · 31/01/2023 17:42

2021lady · 29/01/2023 18:07

So he does want another child but is also fine if it doesn't happen. But I don't think this is the issue tbh.
I know he is stressed about money and things as he's the only 1 working atm. Recently lost his job and just started another so this is probably playing a part
He is on medication for gout and they said this shouldn't affect anything but it may be that it does. I don't know.

I would imagine it’s a combination of everything that’s getting to him.

Hijinks75 · 02/02/2023 10:09

Men have a thing called a refractory period, the length of time it takes to be able to cum again, younger you are the shorter it is but until you get into your 60s it should, if healthy, be only a few hours, even over 60 it’s probably daily, though often not, everyone varies, but in your 30s he should be able to cum several times a day so it sounds like it’s psychological/ physical or as others say, he’s masturbating frequently