Question for the Ladies

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In the first 8 years of my marriage my wife struggled to Orgasm during sex.
When I finally brought up the subject , she confessed she could Orgasm very easily with her 4 previous sexual partners. However she could not Orgasm with her first boyfriend who she loved very much. She fell in love with me , but could not Orgasm again, or very seldom.

My conclusion is my wife struggles to let go in a committed loving relationship.
She did not care or love the 4 previous guys.

My question to the ladies is , Has anybody had a similar experience reaching Orgasm easier with partners they do not love?

PS, we now use a toy during sex which works every time, and are happily married 18 years.

No, my experience is the total opposite. I find it easier to orgasm when I'm in love with someone and easier to let go. A partner who knows what they are doing, finding someone extremely attractive and penis size all have a part to play in helping me to achieve orgasm too.

Agree with MaryJean87, attraction, chemistry, experience and knowing what they’re doing, penis size all contribute to an orgasm.

Similar situation, my wife doesn't orgasm during sex, says she 'just can't' and finishes with a wand which works everytime, or oral is no problem. I've no idea if it's me. She did say recently that she 'has sometimes', although I can't say I recall those moments, maybe she didn't mean with me I don't know. We've been together 20yrs, I've not asked about previous lovers but she wasn't massively experienced, and young then. It bugs me a little as it's frustrating that it's not part of sex for her. I do try I'm sure!

@yorkshireteabagman Maybe she masturbates. I think DW does sometimes when I'm not around. Which is totally her private concern.

She doesn't always orgasm when we have sex although it is obviously very nice for me when she does. Sometimes she just says she doesn't need to and can "really enjoy the journey without necessarily always getting to the destination".

Depends what you mean by during sex - no orgasm from PIV for me, or oral. I'm all about the hands. And yes I found it easier to make a breakthrough with someone I'd just met for fun. Once I'd found the path with a casual partner, I could get a lover to help me out. But I needed to work on it with someone I didn't care about.

I can’t orgasm through piv. I’m much more likely to if I’m relaxed. It’s really whether the guy can get the right action for long enough at the right time. Normally they move on to another action or body part too soon. Even my exH who was well practiced couldn’t do it more than 25% of the time. I can’t make myself cum at the wrong time of the month either. It in no way diminishes my enjoyment of sex. I am happy to get myself off whilst my partner touches other bits, kisses, etc.. I also enjoy a shared use of toys (but they aren’t a cast iron guarantee).

@yorkshireteabagman For 8 years I believed I was the best sex she had had, when she finally admitted she could O very easy with others I was totally shattered. Our marriage was going through a rough patch, So we shared every sexual experience we had both ever had, down to every single detail, size , shape , Orgasms. We equally shared including my experiences, and I was married before and have a child. We both heard details that were hard to take.
My wife would go to the toilet straight after sex to masturbate, I had no idea.
10 years on we are having more sex that ever and are totally turned on by each other. Total transparency has helped but its still plays in my head hearing her story. She includes a toy during or after Sex .However if she smokes weed, she can come during penetration 2 or 3 times, although this is not often due to our location.