Lube

[Estherpologist]

Recommendations for lube please.
Various types at the supermarket - silicone, water, eco, gels - but don't know which are better.
Not interested in flavours and tingling and stuff like that. Just something to help with middle age.

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This thread is a few months old now. If you've found this page in search of lubricants that have been tried and tested by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best lubes useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ 💐

I know you are not fussed about flavours, but we really like the ann summers ones. They seem to last really well. If not, the standard durex one is good.

One of the best lubes is good old olive oil. We used it once when we travelled away to an Airbnb for the weekend and forgot to pack the commercial stuff. I thought it would do in an emergency, but it turned out to better that most of the stuff we have tried.

Surely that's a REALLY BAD IDEA with latex condoms?

Fellow middle aged people here.KY jelly is very effective in our opinion. We managed to get I D jelly from Amazon, which is slightly thicker than KY, but it would seem they do not stock it anymore.

Yes, you're right that any oil based lube is going to be a bad idea with condoms, but the OP asked for lubes without specifying that they needed to be condom-friendly, so that is what I suggested.

If it’s a middle age thing then you are best getting a lube designed for this eg Sylk or Yes. Ones with flavours etc may irritate the perimenopausal vagina. You can get the above on prescription, might also be worth looking at vaginal oestrogen cream or pessary

I don't know how much of a menopausal issue it is yet, but that's good to know. Thanks.

Apologies, I thought that was what you meant by middle aged.

FWIW my experience was in my mid forties, no period issues, hot flushes or any other menopausal symptoms, only discomfort after sex. I’d put it down to starting a new relationship after being out of practice for a while. My practice nurse suggested vaginal oestrogen and by that point I was willing to try anything even though I didn’t think I was perimenopausal and it was a game changer.
Both myself and my BF like sylk as it feels a lot more natural and closer to normal vaginal secretions than the other types of lube that we have tried.

Liquid Silk from Lovehoney is brilliant. Water based so not sticky and dries like a moisturiser

No apology needed at all. Realistically that may well be a factor.
I'm in a similar situation - new partner after a very long break, although 10yrs older. Do you mind me asking what sort of discomfort you had?

Sometimes I’d get sore towards the end of sex. Sometimes it was only afterwards or when passing urine. At it’s worst I was struggling to sit down for 24 hours afterwards 😳 Also got many UTIs. I did once have a look and I seemed to have a tear in the vulval skin. The good news is everything seems to be fine now on a combination of vaginal oestrogen and lube.
Hopefully the lube will work for you.

Superdrug or Durex. It's on the shelf, so easy.
Olive oil or butter will mark your sheets!

My DW and I have used all sorts, we started with a particular water based lube (Sliquid Organic) but as it felt quite cold initially (DW did not like that) we graduated to Silicone which works great for all sorts and lasts longer.

From a purely personal POV I prefer the feel of the Sliquid and still use it for personal use..

The Durex non water that is safe with condoms is quite good too.

From a Peri POV it's a combi approach from our experience and more than anything if you don't use it you will lose it.

Good luck!!

Durex Pleasure feel works well, cheap and water based

www.boots.com/durex-play-feel-pleasure-gel-50ml-10191559

I use Yes, the water based one. Tried the oil based but it felt really odd. But the water based is really nice, no stinging, no stickiness at all, and it's way better than all the others i tried. And it doesn't taste or smell funny like some.

Also like the Yes VM moisturiser, very soothing if you get a bit dry down below.

We have used olive oil for years funnily enough the extra virgin seems best !
it’s great as you can get it anywhere and there is always some in the kitchen
very handy cheap and work so well

I use almond oil on both of us

Durex sensilube and oestrogen cream work well for us

We've been using coconut oil for a few years. Tried some water based commercial varieties but not as good.

Oldtadger

I switched to almond as the coconut smell got a bit much 🤣