Feel weird getting down

[outlinetop]

NC for this because I think its embarrassing. Basically, when DH and I get down to being intimate, I sometimes do a weird thing when he can't see me. Its hard to describe, but its like my eyes move around really rapidly and roll back in my head - the net effect is that I feel like I'm passing out and have to work hard NOT to do it. So it is controllable, but it happens quite a lot.
For history, I was a sex worker in my past for about 5 years - 'high end' escorting in London. DH knows about this, but we never discuss.
Am I dissociating or something. Does anyone else have any odd sensations, particularly at the start of a session, where you have to pull yourself back into the moment and get a grip on your mind??

Please make an appointment to see your GP. It's likely to be something physical. Feels like you're reaching for a psychological reason because of your history - somebody without a similar background would go straight to the doctors I'd have thought. If you do check out physically, the counselling would be your next step, and again your doctor can help.

Thank you, I don't think it's physical because it happens as soon as intimacy starts - I'm not usually very aroused sadly.
I do get aroused at other times / later on in the session and it doesn't happen then.

I am trying to get counselling thru the gp for anxiety and other issues - so far ive just been offered websites and online things to work at by myself about being positive and making life functional - which is not what I need in this situation.

Might need to go private for a psycho sexual counsellor