Help. Barely any sex drive after having a baby?

[mumlife18]

Please note my baby is 16 months now.
I just haven’t felt the urge to have sex with my partner ever since☹️
And now he says I’m boring.
we have twins on the way too so I’m feeling quite poorly at the minute.

Well, firstly congratulations on baby and twins on the way.

What you are feeling in terms of sex drive can be totally normal - motherhood is tiring, hormones (bf and pregnancy can change those affecting libido), depression and physical changes can all have an impact on you. And your partner doesn't sound very supportive or loving, which would put me off intimacy tbh!

You don't have to be sexually available for your partner at a moment of his choosing, or to want the same level of sex whilst looking after small children.

Can you pinpoint why you feel low? Of course not having sex doesn't make you a boring person, or broken.

You just be exhausted, it’s not surprising you’ve no sex drive. I’m not remotely interested when breastfeeding or before my periods return. Honestly, this sounds entirely normal.

I was told by the midwife not to have sex for 6 weeks (normal delivery) To be fair first few weeks were a whirlwind and didnt cross my mind. But did kick back in about week 4. By week 5 I gave in and had some me time! :) But everyone is different and it will kick back in when it is right for you. I would recommend having some time alone first without the pressure of partner

After my first baby we didn’t have sex for about 12 months and after our second baby is was about 15 months.

I had no drive or energy at all!!

The children are now 8 and 5 and it’s only over the last year that I feel my sex drive has returned but it’s still not where it was.

Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s completely normal, and your partner is being a test by calling you boring. What a really horrible thing to say.