Being adventurous...

[BeingAnAdventurer]

This might sound a bit stupid but I'm in a really good relationship now with someone 12 years older than me. He's had a long marriage and a 10 year relationship whereas my relationships have been, well, a bit crap!

I was in an entirely sexless 12 year relationship and found that when I came out of that in my late 30s, I was just meeting/dating a men who wanted to do sex to (rather than with) me; had ED issues; were just roll on, grunt a bit, roll off types... it was boring and I gave up.

I often see people describe their sex lives as 'adventurous' on MN and I just wonder what people mean by that.

I've had shit sexual experiences so far really but I started dating this man a few months ago who I actually have feelings for and we've both said we see this as being for the long term.

He's 58 and, whilst there are no ED issues yet, I'm aware they might be on the horizon and he takes longer to recover than he says he did when he was younger - which I think is pretty normal. I suppose I just want take the most of it and find out what I've been missing my entire life! 😫

What do people mean when they say 'adventurous'?

Seeing who can fit a pineapple up their bum fastest =p

The term can mean many things for many different people in all honesty .. for some adventurous may mean 3 -4 different positions in a week for some it may mean going to gang bangs on a Wednesday night ect..

To me it sounds like you probably just want to explore yourself a bit on what you may have missed out. I belive some of the best sex is with someone you have that chemistry and connection with. For your level of adventure you have to think about what you like might to try out and things you may not think you'll enjoy but end up enjoying. Without being too personal do you know yourself sexually yet? And how open is dp to chats ?

Maybe have a chat with your fella then think about a bucket list...which could be things you'd love to try and if you want ideas you could google them, have a look at some old adult movies (Alpha France is a good place to start) and talk some more with open minds, like has been said adventurous could be sex with the light on or starring in your own movie...keep an open mind I would say at the very least

There's a questionnaire carnalcalibration.com that you can both do and compare results - or you can do to get some idea of what's possible.

IIRC it comes in vanilla, intermediate and full-on versions.