Too Small

[ScottishZoe]

Am I Being Unreasonable in finding men with less than 5 inches in both length and girth just far too small?

I do prefer a good 7-8", and 6"+ is still good, and I can work with 5"+ although it's not really that great.

But for under 5" I find to be just too small and coupled with slim girth, almost a case of "Is it in yet?"

Does anyone else find that a man can be packing just too little?

I agree that size matters but honestly wish it didn't. It took me years of acceptance and disappointment to realise that smaller penises don't quite don't for me.
With something like baldness you can see it when you first meet and perhaps wouldn't consider moving forward if that were a line in the sand for you. The difference with the penis is it is by the time you see it, you're already intimate so short of requiring men to declare their length, girth and circumcision status on their passports, I dont see what you can do.

If it’s that much of an issue it seems like dick pics are part of modern dating (certainly online) so you can always make such a request and weed out the titchy ones.

@Loghra I wish it didn't matter either.

I have tried to make it work in the past but without that satisfied feeling, romantic relationship is doomed for me. Now, likewise I will still already be intimate but do end the relationship soon after knowing that he sadly isn't packing, but not so soon that he would know it is because of his lack of equipment. Contrary to what some people on here may think I am not that mean.

I am not a fan of dick pics personally. Though admittedly those who don't volunteer them do tend to be on the smaller side.

Maybe I should learn to be able to satisfied by a below average one, as some great guys do have them.

But does seem that I am not alone in finding less than 5" to be just too small, and seems to be mostly men that think less than 5" should be big enough as far as I can tell. Though I am sure someone will be along to Mansplain that I am wrong.

The thing is, how many women would be able to comfortably accommodate 7-8 inches, I can imagine it would involve some bashing on the cervix, which can be painful! I think anything over 6 inches would be uncomfortable, for me personally, also I can imagine that the man would have to hold back, so wouldn’t be able to fully enter, whereas an average guy would.

I remember your posts on the other thread, they did make me grin.

Of course you like what you like. There's nothing wrong about that and I'm sure you realise there are plenty like you. What I still don't quite get is how you know the size. Do you crack out the tape measure during foreplay? Or perhaps a slide rule?

Actually perhaps it's not that hard. If you know the width of your hand across the knuckles, and the length of your thumb, it would be quite easy to take a discreet measurement without the man realising, ie, by using your hand as a tape measure, basically.

Never thought about this before.

@ScottishZoe

Seems to keep changing but I believe that average is a little over 5"

I'm an athletic/slim build and despite previous comments believe that I am quite tight down below.

Apparently UK average is 5.5". But the deviation from average is really fairly narrow - 90% of men are under 6", and 90% are above 4.5". I think that range is based on worldwide sample, it's likely that variance within the UK is narrower still.

You say you prefer 7-8", which statistically must be incredibly rare? If you don't mind the personal question, what proportion of men do you come across that are that well endowed? And equally what proportion do you find that are under 5"?

I don't think build/figure has any bearing on tightness, certainly not in my (rather limited) experience. You may well be quite tight and still prefer the larger cocks. It's probably a massive generalisation, but common sense suggests a larger cock is more likely to satisfy a looser vagina than a small one.

But there are other factors too - surely girth is more of a compensator for looseness, and length more to do with the length of the woman's vagina/position of her cervix, and also her BMI? Some women like their cervix being 'tickled' others find it uncomfortable or painful. And then there's the angle it's being applied at - isn't a main target for stimulation the g spot? And that's not particularly deep inside, even a small dick should be able to hit that spot.

Not trying to mansplain, just engaging in the discussion. I think I'm decidedly average (without getting out the tape measure to check), although it was definitely larger when I was slimmer, so I can attest to the concept of being overweight negatively affecting visible/usable length.

And I've never sent a dick pic, not even to a partner, don't think I ever would. If a woman asked for one during OLD I'd probably block her and move on frankly. I don't think size has anything to do with which men send dick pics, I suspect it's more to do with how sleazy and out of touch with women they are (or maybe I'm the exception and it's me that's out of touch, that wouldn't surprise me lol). I expect if a consciously 'small' bloke needed to send a dick pic, he'd probably just send a pic of someone else's!

Sorry but the fact is, if average is too small for you, you have a larger than average vagina.

If a man started a thread on here saying that he just finds average vaginas too baggy and he can only be satisfied by something tighter, what kind of responses do you think he’d get.

@NamechangeApril21 Yes. I'm use if the prolapse prog fir 3days then the general prof for 3 then back to prolapse prog. I'm gobsmacked by the improvement. (Nb rectal prolapse and rectocele are my problems). Twice a day.

As I mentioned on a previous thread about penis size I have always found that it's not the wand it's the wizard.
I have had partners with about average size who have been woefully shit in the sack and ones average and even below average who are better at foreplay because they are fully aware that they are not hung like donkey's.
It's down to personal preference at the end of the day .
But great foreplay is more intimate for me than piv.

Oh dear men really don't like the Size Doesn't Matter narrative being challenged.

We've already established that myself and as far as I can tell a majority other women who have replied find below average to be too small.

So why continue to insult us by suggesting that we find average to be too small?

Also, even if we did find average (5") to be too small, that doesn't mean that women are too big compared to our peers, with research showing that women find 6"+ more likely to provide vaginal orgasms.

Trust me I wish it was a case that 5"+ or even 4"+, indeed 1"+ could provide vaginal orgasms but that isn't the case. Seems that there is sadly a mismatch between what most women need and what most men have.

And questioning women's ability to take 7", why would some of the most popular vibrators and dildos have an insertable length of 7" if you think most of us can only take 5" or 6"?

Some anatomy lessons are needed.

But please do continue to Mansplain and insult women who dare to express our preferences.

@ScottishZoe

Oh dear men really don't like the Size Doesn't Matter narrative being challenged.

We've already established that myself and as far as I can tell a majority other women who have replied find below average to be too small.

So why continue to insult us by suggesting that we find average to be too small?

Also, even if we did find average (5") to be too small, that doesn't mean that women are too big compared to our peers, with research showing that women find 6"+ more likely to provide vaginal orgasms.

Trust me I wish it was a case that 5"+ or even 4"+, indeed 1"+ could provide vaginal orgasms but that isn't the case. Seems that there is sadly a mismatch between what most women need and what most men have.

And questioning women's ability to take 7", why would some of the most popular vibrators and dildos have an insertable length of 7" if you think most of us can only take 5" or 6"?

Some anatomy lessons are needed.

But please do continue to Mansplain and insult women who dare to express our preferences.

I don’t think the last few posts have been insulting, in fact, if anything you’ve been insulting to men with smaller penises by typing the word real and then men with inverted commas and stated you feel sorry for them. Thankfully, I’m aware that there’s more to a man than the size of his penis and as another poster mentioned, it’s not always about the wand but the wizard, which has proven very much the case in my experiences. Personally I wouldn’t be able to take more than 6 inches, so the theory they’ve made dildos bigger, means that there are women with bigger/longer vaginas.

@ScottishZoe

Oh dear men really don't like the Size Doesn't Matter narrative being challenged.

We've already established that myself and as far as I can tell a majority other women who have replied find below average to be too small.

So why continue to insult us by suggesting that we find average to be too small?

Also, even if we did find average (5") to be too small, that doesn't mean that women are too big compared to our peers, with research showing that women find 6"+ more likely to provide vaginal orgasms.

Trust me I wish it was a case that 5"+ or even 4"+, indeed 1"+ could provide vaginal orgasms but that isn't the case. Seems that there is sadly a mismatch between what most women need and what most men have.

And questioning women's ability to take 7", why would some of the most popular vibrators and dildos have an insertable length of 7" if you think most of us can only take 5" or 6"?

Some anatomy lessons are needed.

But please do continue to Mansplain and insult women who dare to express our preferences.

When you’re putting one thing into another, the size of both things matters.

It’s interesting that you think it’s only the size of the man. Do you think all vaginas are the same size?

@ScottishZoe

Oh dear men really don't like the Size Doesn't Matter narrative being challenged.

We've already established that myself and as far as I can tell a majority other women who have replied find below average to be too small.

So why continue to insult us by suggesting that we find average to be too small?

Also, even if we did find average (5") to be too small, that doesn't mean that women are too big compared to our peers, with research showing that women find 6"+ more likely to provide vaginal orgasms.

Trust me I wish it was a case that 5"+ or even 4"+, indeed 1"+ could provide vaginal orgasms but that isn't the case. Seems that there is sadly a mismatch between what most women need and what most men have.

And questioning women's ability to take 7", why would some of the most popular vibrators and dildos have an insertable length of 7" if you think most of us can only take 5" or 6"?

Some anatomy lessons are needed.

But please do continue to Mansplain and insult women who dare to express our preferences.

I won't 'rise' to that.

At the risk of you also being insulted, which I don't want, may I ask what you find to be just too small?
I couldn't give you a number, but I have a picture in my mind of what I consider to be 'large', 'average', and 'small'. I'm not sure how helpful numbers are due to the 'girl inches' phenomenon, whereby women overestimate dick size. (Men are similarly clueless about bra sizes!!)

My best sexual experience was with an average-sized man. He commented that we fitted together perfectly, and we certainly did. It was a though his 'key' was made for my 'lock'. Mysterious. There was a great mental connection too, so that probably helped. Conversely, my worse experience was with the biggest cock, who was a jack-hammerer and couldn't have found my clit if he'd had a gun to his head.

Big is aesthetically appealing and a bit of a fantasy for me, but average is probably more practical as anal and oral are important parts of sex for me, and these go easier with a cock that's not too large.

the deeper the layer of fat around their vulva, and the less depth their partner's penis is going to reach.
I can't imagine a vulva being fat enough to make much of a difference? However, I know from bitter experience that a big bum paired with a small cock makes doggy-style unworkable.

The difference with the penis is it is by the time you see it, you're already intimate so short of requiring men to declare their length, girth and circumcision status on their passports, I dont see what you can do.
In future, I'm going to get them to show it to me in person before we have sex so I can check for size, health, overall aesthetic, and erectile function without it coming anywhere near my vagina. If it's not to my liking, I'll break things off later with a face-saving explanation.

isn't a main target for stimulation the g spot? And that's not particularly deep inside, even a small dick should be able to hit that spot.
I much prefer A-spot to G-spot stimulation, and unfortunately a small cock is not going to hit it. There's a huge emphasis on the g-spot in the media and culture at large, whereas more satisfying, deeper stimulation is seldom discussed. Could this be because the g-spot feeds into the 'size doesn't matter' narrative and assuages male anxiety about cock size??

Final comment: you don't need to have a big dick to have big dick energy. There's been a lot of small dick energy on this thread from certain posters, who appear quite triggered by women's preferences.

The thing is, how many women would be able to comfortably accommodate 7-8 inches, I can imagine it would involve some bashing on the cervix, which can be painful!

My husband has 8 inches. I measured after reading one of the previous MN threads on the same topic. Unless I get a stab directly on my cervix (very rare) it isn’t painful at all. And yes, it goes all the way in way past the cervix.

I must admit that I was a bit intimidated when I first saw it but it has never been a problem. It also manages to hit a spot right at the back beyond the cervix which I never felt before.

Sorry to hijack your post OP, especially as I can understand why you are asking the question. This is a very emotive subject for a lot men and is why I'm writing this.

My penis is 6.75" in length and just above average in girth. However, I spent my late teens, 20's and my early 30's believing it was below average and too small to ever please a woman.

I can't easily explain how much my mental health suffered because of it. I felt abject despair a lot of the time to the point of crying when I was younger, I felt like I was inferior to other men and a failure. It made me ashamed and embarrassed for being given something so useless. I can only liken it to body dysmorphia and it affected my life massively.

I could never use urinals with other men, use the showers at the gym, etc and I used to apologise to my partners before getting naked. Even when they reassured me it was fine, I would not believe them and I could never enjoy sex.

This was in the late 90's/2000's and before online porn was so available but I remember watching mainstream TV shows like Sex in the City (I also remember a show with Sara Cox in the 90's too) which used to celebrate men with 8"+ and mocked men with anything average. I also remember the song Perfect 10 by the Beautiful South being on the radio every day which had the lyrics 'When he's at my gate, with a big fat 8, You wanna see the smile on my face' and something about a poor poor 4. I remember feeling down every time it came on.

It always seemed OK for women to joke about a man's penis size and use it as an insult (I know you weren't doing that OP) and I don't think they understand the extent of the problem it causes.

I think it is worse now with online porn and social media. I have recently seen a video on social media of a couple of women say they need at least 8" and that their past boyfriends had 9". The statistics say that is highly unlikely but there will have been young men that will have seen that and feel exactly how I did.

Although I can see it wasn't intended, your post OP (and others like it all over the internet) will have reinforced a lot of perfectly normal men's insecurities to the detriment to their mental health.

I know I am not the only man to have felt that way and I know there will be many teenage boys who will be growing up with the same worries and I feel awful for them.

I just wish I could help woman understand how big of an issue this can be and how much hurt they can cause.

Sorry to rant off topic and for the mansplaining.

That was me trying to explain some of the other responses rather than just to have a random dig at women in general and the OP! Sorry if it comes across that way.

@Seamills

The thing is, how many women would be able to comfortably accommodate 7-8 inches, I can imagine it would involve some bashing on the cervix, which can be painful!

My husband has 8 inches. I measured after reading one of the previous MN threads on the same topic. Unless I get a stab directly on my cervix (very rare) it isn’t painful at all. And yes, it goes all the way in way past the cervix.

I must admit that I was a bit intimidated when I first saw it but it has never been a problem. It also manages to hit a spot right at the back beyond the cervix which I never felt before.

It’s not possible for his penis to get beyond your cervix.

www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/cervix-penetration#cervix-penetration

@Seamills This pretty much sums up that some women must be bigger length ways and are able to cater for larger penises. There has been a few posts on the sex board where women have had sex with bigger than average penises and have asked for advice, as sex has been too painful.
So it seems that one size doesn’t fit all and both vagina and penis size determine this.

It’s not possible for his penis to get beyond your cervix.

Yes it is. To the sides, above or below.

It’s not possible for his penis to get beyond your cervix.

Yes it is. His penis is going into her posterior fornix. Multiple factors affect the position of the cervix. It's very possible to get beyond it.

Seamills, cross post. 👍

It seems @Alongwayfromeverything is right, the cervix can’t be penetrated. It says it’s too small to be penetrated and only opens up during childbirth.

Despite my username, I've been measured to be above the average quoted here by a pp, and according to some posters, I might venture into the rare. I do not consider myself to be VWE, but I guess it depends on your definitions.

I'm also aware I have hands and a tongue, and am happy to use all the tools at my disposal to pleasure my partner!