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Original poster

Too much sex??

87 replies

flipflopshrug · 04/07/2021 11:30

Hi folks

I've recently started a new relationship, we're about 2 months in and everything has been amazing. We're still in the honeymoon phase and have basically been at it like rabbits for the whole 2 months.. last night we DTD and afterwards he said he thinks he needs a few days off as his orgasms aren't as 'intense' as they were when we first met. He thinks he needs a few days where he doesn't cum so that he can 'build his reserves' (his words) so that it'll feel 'amazing' again. He said that when we first got together his orgasms were shattering and he'd feel them all over, whereas last night it was more 'yep that's it'.

Now I feel like I'm not doing enough to please him? Mine are still amazing, don't get me wrong there are instances where they're less intense than others, but they're still amazing.

I suppose I'm asking is it normal for men to need a few days sex free to 'recuperate'?

He said he still wants to have sex but he'll just make sure he doesn't finish... to me that sort of defeats the object- sex is amazing and the closeness of being with your partner is obviously a big part of it, but without the big finale surely it's an anti-climax (no pun intended) 😂

Please let me know your thoughts?

OP posts:
Isthisitforever · 05/07/2021 11:14

@AverageGuy - The thing is it’s not like we never do it, it’s just very text book, oral sex stopped, it was pretty much get the deed done and that’s it and it became awkward. I want passion and excitement, that hunger for each other again. I’ve had completely different sex and to know I won’t have that sort of sex again 😕

JustAnotherOldMan · 05/07/2021 11:32

I would be happy with every day once a week. It’s been a long time since he’s woken me up with wondering hands.

I remember wondering hands… hands that were wondering why I was still in bed rather then getting up, putting the kettle on and feeding the dog

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 11:34

@AverageGuy we couldn't because (ready for the complicated bit of my life??) my 8 month old was staying overnight and I had to get up and make his porridge 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 11:39

@Isthisitforever - I feel for you. I went through that stage with my ex before it became a sexless marriage. I think I may need to look through some of your earlier posts...

@flipflopshrug - ah! young children! Natures biggest passion killer! That kinda explains why he wasn't interested today... Once little one has gone however..

AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 11:41

@Isthisitforever - blast. Need to be a premium member to see all your posts. Sorry.

Don't want to hijack this thread either...

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 11:44

@AverageGuy he's going back to his dad this afternoon... 😉

OP posts:
AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 11:54

@flipflopshrug - expect normal service to be resumed!

If it isn't then I might take things in my own hands iyswim... Grin

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 12:23

@AverageGuy if normal service resume I'll have to take it into my own hands 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 12:23

If normal service doesn't resume I mean 🙄

OP posts:
Estherpologist · 05/07/2021 12:34

This thread might help.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sex/4284324-so-how-long-have-you-been-celibate
SmileShock

AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 12:47

@flipflopshrug - go you! Grin

@Estherpologist - Flowers Qt the risk of thread hijack - Another one... Sad What is it with some of our partners, both male & female... Sad and why do we put up with it for so long?

It took me 10 years, but I'm out now. Divorced, single, and pre-Covid, was starting to get back into the swing (literally in my case) of things.. Feel like I'm back to scratch now, another year older...

AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 12:47

At not qt...

Isthisitforever · 05/07/2021 13:19

@AverageGuy - I guess it’s a number of things, familiarity, life, mis-matched libidos. In my opinion, everything changed after I had his babies. Maybe they change the way they see you, you’re their sexual partner at the beginning and then their children’s mother. I don’t think it’s a loss of attraction, just the dynamics of the relationship change.
Maybe it’s not possible to have both the security and the thrill.

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 13:26

@Estherpologist that is a good thread!

@Isthisitforever it all changed for me once I'd had the baby. We just weren't the same anymore. I still loved my husband, but it was more as a best friend than anything else, the attraction had gone for me. I'm 29 and didn't want to stay unhappy, so I left. It hurt everyone, but everyone can now see that I'm happier separated.

OP posts:
AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 13:53

@Isthisitforever @flipflopshrug @Estherpologist
Isn''t it odd? There are posts on here from women with children who's OH are effectively sex pests, as they are run ragged with the children, washing, ironing, housework etc, and are too tired, or too sore to think about sex, but their OH "expect" sex, and then posts from women who's OH don't seem to be interested any more.. Confused

Mis-matched libidos is a difficult one. I think that's where my XW & I were for a long time (post children, but like 10 years post birth). As I say, divorce was my way out.

All I can say is that there are plenty of guys out there, ready, willing and able, as @flipflopshrug can attest to! Grin

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 13:58

@AverageGuy he'd better be willing and able later! 😂😂

OP posts:
Estherpologist · 05/07/2021 14:23

Some women can't get enough sex? Men don't want any? You need to be careful @AverageGuy before you start sounding as though you think a truce has been called in the battle of the sexes.😁

AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 14:26

@Estherpologist - Grin If only...

Isthisitforever · 05/07/2021 14:29

@AverageGuy - It has generally always been important to me, I was also more sexually experienced when we met.
I think some women are just more sexual than others maybe.
Kids, life and work is always exhausting but the magic of being able to have mind blowing sex with your partner in the evening, makes those stresses seem so much easier.

AverageGuy · 05/07/2021 15:01

@Isthisitforever - "I think some women are just more sexual than others maybe." I'd say some people are more sexual than others - it's not a gender thing.

Sex has always been very important to me. Having been in a sexless relationship for so long, I can't (won't?) now consider one where sex isn't very much part of it.

I'm also keen to experiment, explore, and experience things that I never have before - I feel I let so much of my life go past... Sad

Of course, being a guy who is nearly 60 (old, not obsolete! Grin) does limit my options somewhat.

Estherpologist · 05/07/2021 15:10

[quote Isthisitforever]@AverageGuy - It has generally always been important to me, I was also more sexually experienced when we met.
I think some women are just more sexual than others maybe.
Kids, life and work is always exhausting but the magic of being able to have mind blowing sex with your partner in the evening, makes those stresses seem so much easier.[/quote]
@Isthisitforever If only everyone knew that mind blowing sex makes all the other stresses easier, there would be a lot less threads on the MN Sex board.

Inthesameboatatmo · 05/07/2021 15:32

I think if more people were honest about it, they too would admit that sex is very important to them ,but it's still seen as taboo subject unfortunately.

Original poster
flipflopshrug · 05/07/2021 15:37

I agree @Inthesameboatatmo ... us Brits are too polite!

OP posts:
Isthisitforever · 05/07/2021 16:08

AverageGuy

@Isthisitforever @flipflopshrug @Estherpologist
Isn''t it odd? There are posts on here from women with children who's OH are effectively sex pests, as they are run ragged with the children, washing, ironing, housework etc, and are too tired, or too sore to think about sex, but their OH "expect" sex, and then posts from women who's OH don't seem to be interested any more..

I mentioned women because this post seemed more targeted about women, how some don’t want sex but others do but yes I agree, this applies to both men and women.

Isthisitforever · 05/07/2021 16:21

[quote AverageGuy]@Isthisitforever - "I think some women are just more sexual than others maybe." I'd say some people are more sexual than others - it's not a gender thing.

Sex has always been very important to me. Having been in a sexless relationship for so long, I can't (won't?) now consider one where sex isn't very much part of it.

I'm also keen to experiment, explore, and experience things that I never have before - I feel I let so much of my life go past... Sad

Of course, being a guy who is nearly 60 (old, not obsolete! Grin) does limit my options somewhat.[/quote]
@AverageGuy How long were you in a sexless marriage for?

I don’t think anyone’s ever too old to be honest, as long as the equipment still works as it should 😆

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