Sex Multiple Times

[IsItJustMeOrYou]

I chatted to my DH this morning about sex multiple times. For example if you have sex more than once in the same evening/night/day. We met as teens and are our only partners and now in our 50s. In all of that time maybe 3 or 4 times we have had sex at night then the next morning after waking up. My DH said that he has never had the urge to have sex then a short-while later have sex again. I am the same so we are very compatible and happy with things.

Not having any other experience it was just a general question on how common is it to have sex more than once within a short-period and is there a real desire from each partner to have sex multiple times?

Thank you, I am just curious

---

If you've found this page in your search of adult games and sex games that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex games useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Some do and some dont! When me and my ex first got together aeons ago we would often have sex when we got in from work...we both went to work by train so came back together...we'd have sex later in bed and If it was a Friday we would have sex again On Sat am and very likely on Sunday too...but we were younger and it was just us!
With my current DP we tend to have a long gentle session and then leave it for a few days until the opportunity presents again....kids...domestic chores all need to be managed! .we are both 50's and relish a longer session of quality love making when the place is quiet rather than how many times we actually have intercourse...and age means it all just takes a bit longer to get going IYKWIM so quickie sex is not usually an option like it once was!!

Absolutely Normal!!

@Sparkybloke I would get home from the train and be exhausted.

@noego nice to know we are normal

I think it depends entirely on the dynamic between the couple and other life pressures.

DP and I only see each other every couple of weeks so we'll often have sex quite a few times over the weekend - morning, noon and night! I think the most was 6 times in 24 hours. 😆

@PinotPony 6 times or put another way 3-weeks worth in 24 hours.

Exactly! It all averages out!

See each other every couple of weeks and will
Often have sex every 6 hours or so if we are just staying in .

Many years ago we went abroad on holiday with my sister and her husband. The walls of the cabin we stayed in were paper thin and more-or-less every night he would get up, go to the toilet and on his return would 'shag' my Sis. This would happen 3 to 4 times a night. They were in single beds as we had the room with the double so it was very noisy as he moved himself in and out of the beds. For me this was not sex. She absolutely did not seem bothered by this at all.

As a side note it was a truly awful holiday and was never repeated.

remember in my 20s literally spending al saturday in bed having sex, 9 times, it ended when the orgasms literally had no end product left to show other than the feeling.

Happy with a couple of times a day now if the opportunity presents itself (with 2 kids under 10 in the house thats v unlikely to happen)

@isitsummertimeyet I could not even begin to imagine that. No Netflix I guess?

@IsItJustMeOrYou

Many years ago we went abroad on holiday with my sister and her husband. The walls of the cabin we stayed in were paper thin and more-or-less every night he would get up, go to the toilet and on his return would 'shag' my Sis. This would happen 3 to 4 times a night. They were in single beds as we had the room with the double so it was very noisy as he moved himself in and out of the beds. For me this was not sex. She absolutely did not seem bothered by this at all.

As a side note it was a truly awful holiday and was never repeated.

Why did you not consider that to be sex?

@sammylady37 For me it is sex when both partners are involved. Honestly the walls were so thin we might as well have been in the room and there was only one person 'relieving' themselves. I did speak to my Sis about it in around about way as I know that coming between two people would be nothing short of a disaster and it 'seemed' that she took this as quite normal. To be fair we did not go into too much depth.

It is a fair question as my normal is quite different

@IsItJustMeOrYou thanks for clarifying. It wasn’t clear in your first post about it that your sister wasn’t, as you put it, relieving herself, by which I presume you mean having an orgasm? Fwiw, lots of people don’t orgasm every time, and are still quite satisfied and there’s nothing wrong with that. I can’t believe you brought it up with your sister though I’d be beyond embarrassed to realise my sister had overheard me having sex and was offering advice/opinion as to the quality of it!

@sammylady37 Yes I agree it would be embarrassing but I skirted around it. I wanted to be sure that there was no underlying coercion and was worried that if I didn't ask then I may regret it later.

I am vastly inexperienced with regard to sexual partners (having only ever had one) and you question was thought provoking in that I have my view of sex and then think that is 'The View' when actually it isn't which you eloquently point out.

I think there is no one correct view when it comes to sex really. Everyone has their own values, desires and quirks!

My contribution:

OP, with a properly matched person we are first thing in the morning (before getting up), if possible lunchtime, bedtime, and if really happy then also in the night (like 3-4 am). Four times a day. Every day.

With the right person it's just 24/7 access and it's like breathing. I go to sleep holding him (...), he wakes me up in the night by licking me (...).

Really. I know that sounds too idyllic (well, to me - to others it may sound not their cup of tea!) but it is perfectly normal for me and some other people.

It's just a question of being matched. If I am working and he is turned on then that turns me on too and I'd happily follow him to the disabled loo (or be lightly propelled). When it's really good, it's like mirroring someone else's computer - you have access to everything (your and his body). I love that.

It's super important for me. But I know not for everyone.

@Parkerwhereareyou thank you.

Regarding sex I am a reactive person. This may sound odd to some but I honestly have very little desire for sex but once my DH pushes the right buttons I am a very enthusiastic partner. Recently, after nearly 40 years together, my DH said that he had never felt sexually desired. It breaks my heart to say this. He also said he knows that I am not an initiator and that I love him very much and care for him more than words can say. I now push myself to show him 'overt' affection which does not come naturally but is incredibly important.

Reading your post is akin to revealing a world that I have absolutely no knowledge of. @isitsummertimeyet said sex 9 times in the same day and this is jaw dropping for me. I am not yearning for the same but there must be a real buzz at times to feel like that

When I was in my 20s I could manage this. It didn't happen that often, but that was mosly because DW was content with less and I was a bit shy about pushing it. But I would have been very happy for it to happen.

I remember spending days in bed with a previous GF, but mostly giving a her a hugely drawn-out seeing to.

20 years on, and I doubt I could manage more than once a day unless the conditions were just absolutely right.

I can see why you were concerned about your sister. As a man I wouldn't have been able to manage that because at night I've always been asleep and tbh wouldn't really appreciate being woken for sex unless it was done just the right way. What you describe is a young man's wanking habits - but with your sister underneath him. If she genuinely didn't mind: happy days.

As for your DH, I can see why you're upset, but tbh I reckon that's quite normal for LT relationships - people find a way of getting along. They aren't going to be perfect, and we are all complicated enough creatures to surprises our partners with something years down the line. Why did he say it though? I'd have probably kept something like that to myself unless specifically asked

@Blokenamechangesexboard I could not answer as to why he said it but I can give you some context. My DH is the most selfless person I have ever known. He has always communicated throughout out lives and I would say I am the quiet one in the relationship. A couple of months ago I mentioned something about my libido along the lines that I had never really had one. I can't really remember how the conversation went. Anyhow a couple of weeks pass and he had been uncharacteristically quiet which is not like him. I asked him a few times if there was anything wrong but he shrugged it off and changed the direction of the conversation. We were out walking and he said that he will live his whole life and will never have the experience that someone wants to rip his clothes off with desire and that he felt a sadness about it.
There is no resentment or frustration or anger whatsoever on his part as he really is not that person. Throughout our 4 decades together he tells me I am beautiful most every day, he has never been able to keep his hands off me (which I adore), and his passion for me is wonderful. I feel so sad for him that I am not the person who does that for him.

It is not something that he had ever thought about until I mentioned my libido so it was not something that was festering below the surface.

I hope that answers you question

@IsItJustMeOrYou
I’m so sorry to hear that about his and your sadness. But also his wonderful to have such a long and lovely relationship, and for him to be so loving. He has told you now what’s getting him down. Yes now as you’ve said, maybe now you’re conscious of it, you will see moments where you can be openly affectionate etc with him. It sounds like he’d appreciate this.

I’ve re-read my own post and not quite sure what I am on?! ☺️ Yes that kind of intimacy is something I love, but to be fair I think the waking up in the night a more rare occurrence than I painted it!! And obviously lunchtime not usually possible. If I had to reduce it to the bare minimum, I’d go for the morning slot. I like going to bed early and fall asleep easily so actually bedtime almost the least likely for me.

What your DH wants to feel is that desire that makes your throat dry and gives you butterflies. Maybe you could think about it ... you might have to open your eyes/mind in other ways too first to just start thinking more sexually. Only an idea - not even a suggestion. It’s a question of what you feel good with. But you may need to start testing the boundaries of your comfort zone.

@Parkerwhereareyou thank you. Well whatever you are on could you please send me some!

It's not a comfort zone thing I genuinely am not an emotional person. This works well on one hand that I don't have highs and lows and it makes me very steady. All my family are like this and as you can imagine it's hardly party time when we visit. I can't see a way out of it other than making sure I am more obvious with my affection and I have been trying although I wonder if that makes things worse as it is a reminder. There was something on the TV the other night and I could see my DH welling up and I said to him that I just don't have that.

I prefer having sex twice a week, as opposed to every day, as when we do, we have really intense and amazing sex, as we have a build up of sexual tension in between.

@Blokenamechangesexboard - I guess the posters husband mentioned it because he wanted the dynamics of their sex life to change, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that you want to be desired and want them to initiate intimacy more, it opens up channels of communication and can change things positively for both partners involved.

@ChocoholicWineLover thank you I strongly suspect that you have hit the nail squarely on the head...

@ChocoholicWineLover

Yes, that makes sense to me too. But I think he's also expressing regret at what he hasn't been able to have. Which can be a bit of an upsetting thing to hear from one's spouse but I suppose I would shrug my shoulders and think that if that's really just me, well he accepted me and no one can be perfect for any other person. If you're still happily married after 40 years you're certainly good enough for him.

You also can't be something you're not, even now. And if he thinks your lack of libido is down to him, perhaps he will feel better about it (because I guess it's not).

Cliches perhaps, but I think they should be said.