What words do you use to talk about sex?

[Parkerwhereareyou]

If you wanted to or do ever talk about sex, and try to describe it, what vocabulary do you use?

I think one has to fall back on staple words/terms which have negative connotations, but in the absence of anything else, that's all there is to use.

For example, I dislike 'cum', 'cunt', 'arse', 'clit', 'tits'. There are lots more.

This problem was raised in profile nearly a century ago in particular, and the author trying to bring descriptions of sexual desire and love into mainstream readership was prosecuted for being filthy.

I think we should be able to express these experiences though. For me these are amazing feelings but I'm having trouble creating a new language to convey them.

Anyone have any better terms?!

Anything goes. I'm a potty mouth. lol

If it’s while having sex we use all of those words 🤷‍♀️ I love it

I would probably use most of them not having sex too

This is a good topic, and I’ve rarely discussed it with a partner (I’m a man). I would raise it if we’re experimenting with talking dirty. Last year I was asked by a partner, by email and before we first had sex, what words I was happy with -I was impressed at how polite that was.

I dislike 'cum', 'cunt', 'arse', 'clit', 'tits'. There are lots more.
For me, of that little list I would never say “cunt” to a woman during the heat of the action or otherwise -I think it’s an insulting word -I might say “fanny”, or make her laugh by saying “get your ladygarden over here” (always works).

For me, “tits” is amusing and cuddly. “Breasts” is a bit consulting room. “Arse” is a bit aggressive, "bum" is good. “Clit”, there doesn’t seem to be a equivalent. Same for “cum” –“ejaculate”? no, not in the bedroom.

Thinking about it, I use much more extreme words in my head, silently, perhaps as part of fantasy.

For example, I dislike 'cum', 'cunt', 'arse', 'clit', 'tits'. There are lots more.

I dislike the words cunt and tits, everything else I think is ok, as not many alternatives.

@Danceswithwhippets - Or you could say ‘Get that bush over here!’ (Joking!) that would kill the moment! 😂😂

@Sparklingstars
In my past sex life saying ‘Get that bush over here!’ would often have meant my getting very little sex, because the woman would have looked around and asked “who are you talking to?” because of the lack of shrubbery in sight.

I had a partner who was a practice nurse, and in the course of her work got to see a lot of the working parts of patients. She said only on older women would she see a traditional bush. The younger they were, the more likely they were to be nude or highly topiarised.

I know from a GP specialising in womens’ sexual health that the little living creatures that live in the undergrowth are pretty much non-existent now, because of the lack of ground cover. Likewise for men.

I think I’ll go and finish my tea in the garden now.

@Danceswithwhippets - It’s the luck of the draw nowadays if I’ve tamed the bush, my husband either has to fight through the bush to get to the flower, or he’s had all the hard work done for him 😂
I was half joking by the way, it’s really not that bad....

We do use the 'proper' words...so breasts, nipples, penis, vulva, vagina etc....we mostly use cock, pussy, boobs (dp is not a fan of tits), clit, love tunnel, fanny, bum, (she has a fabulous bum for the various bits. When it comes to sex I ask if she wants me inside...if she does she will say so...often says "yes....fuck me". We both hate the c@@@ word. We both use the word orgasm and cum....neither has preference. I usually warn if I'm going to cum from a bj but by now she knows anyway! At least she can choose whether it's in her mouth or not (over her boobs)....

I don't mind anything but Willy just makes me giggle

It depends on the place and time.

@peak2021

It depends on the place and time

Yes that's a very good point I think. And possibly also the other person in the conversation (if 2-way).

Everyone though has really confirmed what I thought - that a few words are disliked and avoided, but generally there's a standard limited vocabulary set (either anatomical or dirty or a bit silly).

Hmm. Any ideas for a new lexis?! 😀
I've been trying to thing of new words but they all sound a bit daft

I really don't see the difference between ct and ck. (I'm redacting them for other peoples sake.) They're both pretty visceral, and sometimes, if you want to be fd, which is pretty visceral, they're exactly the right words.
I can't imagine saying vulva or penis to anyone but my kids or my GP.
I find phrases like lady garden and love tunnel preposterous (no offemce to those who use them).

Nippy Nippy

@Estherpologist
*
I really don't see the difference between c*t and ck.
I get why you find them the same. For some reason I find 'c*t' a bit much but 'c*k' feels ok because I think guys seem to use that. So it sort of reflectively turns me on (like rugby dinners - not my style at all, but they like it, so it's sort of sexy because of that?!)

I love that you find some terms preposterous!! : D

Ok, does anyone/their partners have nicknames for their own or the others bits and pieces?

I had a partner whose breasts I called Pinky (left) and Perky (right).

@Danceswithwhippets

I had a partner whose breasts I called Pinky (left) and Perky (right).

Haha! Nope never had any words like that 😅

Pinky (left) and Perky (right).

your left or her left ???

@waterSpider

Pinky (left) and Perky (right).

your left or her left ???

Hers. To avoid any confusion. Anyway, who's to say I wasn't behind her? Win win really.

The word c**t has grown on me. My partner loves it and now so do I when we talk to each other. What you associate with a word makes a huge difference doesn't it.

I never said cunt out loud in my life (47) until I met my current partner, now we both use it during sex and I find it such a turn on. Also use tits, dick, arse, clit and balls, using the correct words would just not have the same effect