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Original poster

Isn't a pussy-centric approach the best way for both to have the best sex?

23 replies

Parkerwhereareyou · 04/04/2021 11:06

Just that, really.

It's very natural to worship his cock. It's super easy to access. Very gratifying to see the immediate response. etc ..... but. The sex is on a different plane if the pussy becomes the centre of it all.

And yes this does mean licking etc.

I wonder if men know that really it makes a quantum difference?

And I wonder how many women get their 'low sex drive' from not getting the most effective attention?

Interested to know if I'm a nympho or this is a thing which affects most of us.

OP posts:
VeniVidiWeeWee · 04/04/2021 13:08

It seems a fair few women disagree.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4207698-To-think-oral-sex-is-unpleasant

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 04/04/2021 13:55

So strange to me ... possibly the most delicious sensation my body has ever felt .... and some women don't like it?!!

Maybe wasn't being done right? If it's done before someone is psychologically ready, and or not done right, I'd agree it's possible it can be just awful.

I wasn't just talking about that, though. I meant just the whole psycho sexual focus being the pussy. If anyone knows what I mean (hard to put into words).

Pussy as centre of the universe 😉

OP posts:
Deathgrip · 04/04/2021 17:33

@Parkerwhereareyou

So strange to me ... possibly the most delicious sensation my body has ever felt .... and some women don't like it?!!

Maybe wasn't being done right? If it's done before someone is psychologically ready, and or not done right, I'd agree it's possible it can be just awful.

I wasn't just talking about that, though. I meant just the whole psycho sexual focus being the pussy. If anyone knows what I mean (hard to put into words).

Pussy as centre of the universe 😉

Did you actually read the thread? It’s really bloody weird and offensive to think that because someone doesn’t like a particular sex act then they mustn’t have had it done right.

I don’t particularly like the sensation of it, no matter who has done it or their skill. I can think of at least five things i would rather do, and I’m sure some of them wouldn’t be things you’d be up for.

We all like different things. Welcome to sex.

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 04/04/2021 19:00

Did you actually read the thread?

But this thread here isn't about oral sex on women.

It's a question about effectively putting the woman first. Centre stage. Whatever that means (obviously not oral if someone hates it?!).

As opposed being dick-focused. Or just not awfully focused.

OP posts:
Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 04/04/2021 19:10

... and centre stage does not mean an elaborate series of perfectly executed manoeuvres on the woman (not necessarily ...).

It might just start with 'omg I love your pussy'.

I was kind of getting at isn't it important to just think about how we think?

Or ... should we just lie back and think of England/EU/wherever??

OP posts:
Blokenamechangesexboard · 05/04/2021 09:22

@Parkerwhereareyou

Did you actually read the thread?

But this thread here isn't about oral sex on women.

It's a question about effectively putting the woman first. Centre stage. Whatever that means (obviously not oral if someone hates it?!).

As opposed being dick-focused. Or just not awfully focused.

Good sex is more likely to be about communication and putting each other first, don't you think?

On a side note: I read that AIBU thread about oral. The thread is bizarre. So many people taking so many things personally. No recognition that to get what you want you need to tell your partner instead of being cross because they're not telepathic.

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 05/04/2021 09:47

No recognition that to get what you want you need to tell your partner instead of being cross because they're not telepathic.

Yes I agree and this reinforces your (correct to my mind) point about communication.

I'm just out of a relationship where my pleasure ended up being totally unimportant so maybe that's why I've started thinking female-centric sounds good! 😅

But yes really it would be female and male centric ...

The oral thread was so angry in places. If the women like it, then if he isn't automatically doing it every day then he's awful and unloving and neglecting her. But if she doesn't like it and he tries to persuade her to see if she might (presumably as is loving and wants her to enjoy it?) then he's not much short of a rapist. ?

(Sorry yes - I can feel I'm expanding the side note!)

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 05/04/2021 11:19

OP, re your opening comments. I agree. Some of the most enlightened societies in history worshiped the Vulva. 🌷

JustAnotherOldMan · 05/04/2021 13:20

It might just start with 'omg I love your pussy'.

Myex was from Yorkshire and I think if said anything along those lines she say something along the lines of “WTF is up with you “, with broad Yorkshire twang

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 05/04/2021 15:28

@StarlightLady

OP, re your opening comments. I agree. Some of the most enlightened societies in history worshiped the Vulva. 🌷
Thanks, @StarlightLady ... yes I can understand why.

Phallocentricity (?!) is very easy. Putting the female centre stage is possibly less so, for various reasons. Yes my whole point was about this.

@JustAnotherOldMan yes I meant to say you'd have to put it in a way that didn't end up sounding daft! ... (I was also brought up with the Yorkshire perspective, but am soppy too, so I'd probably have let it pass)

OK going off now to google which enlightened societies don't think it's weird to love pussy ... ; )

OP posts:
AaSaat · 05/04/2021 15:40

I get an enormous amount of attention from my husband. I always have to ask him if he minds spending that much time and he always says its win win for both of us. Not complaining though

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 05/04/2021 15:53

@AaSaat

I get an enormous amount of attention from my husband. I always have to ask him if he minds spending that much time and he always says its win win for both of us. Not complaining though
@AaSaat do you hire him out? : )
OP posts:
OP posts:
Wherearemymarbles · 05/04/2021 19:08

Start with the mind and the pussy will follow....

SirGawain · 05/04/2021 19:22

Mrs Slocombe would agree with youBlush

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 05/04/2021 20:54

@SirGawain

Mrs Slocombe would agree with youBlush
Haha : D

Perfect. Yes she would. She really would. Mrs Slocombe. OMG why have I not just been channelling Mrs Slocombe?! : )

OP posts:
Blokenamechangesexboard · 05/04/2021 21:58

@Parkerwhereareyou

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/men-women/why-have-vaginas-which-were-once-worshipped-become-taboo-8092761.html

...

I've never been convinced by all this. Sexual morals in just about all societies has been based around the lack of reliable contraception. What to us looks repressive was there for a very good reason.

And the suggestion that the vagina was unnamed until the seventeenth century is certainly wrong. The word for it before then was "cunt". The article talks about 'Western religion importing shame' while at the same time giving examples of the opposite from the very time Western society was most religious.

As for sheela-na-gigs on churches, claiming them as a feminist icon is all very well but I betcha they were carved by men!

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 05/04/2021 22:47

@Blokenamechangesexboard

so ... am I just actually old-fashioned? : )

So basically men have been worshipping pussy forever?! (I really hope so ...)

OP posts:
Blokenamechangesexboard · 06/04/2021 10:34

Yes, but I'm afraid that I think there's always been a fair amount of avariciousness in there as well.

But on the upside some medieval literature is pretty rude: the time when things were a bit more buttoned up was nineteenth to the mid twentieth century.

Deathgrip · 06/04/2021 13:36

Fortunately my sex life is already like this, didn’t consider it that controversial or unusual.

Although if DH ever used the word “pussy” in my presence, I think it would slam shut for a while. That word makes me feel grim - reminds me of lecherous old sleazy men (and George Galloway). Bleugh. It’s a shame there are no actually erotic words for female genitals - there are plenty for male. I can’t imagine dirty talk that features the word “pussy”.

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 06/04/2021 14:30

'Fortunately my sex life is already like this, didn’t consider it that controversial or unusual. '

I don't think it's controversial but I'm not sure how dependably usual it is. Certainly not as widespread as basic vaginal intercourse. On the 'women hate oral sex' thread (...), there were quite a few women who said love it but never get it, and that's been a common theme on here for years.
(So you're lucky! :)

As for the word pussy yes there's a general problem with a language to reference genitalia (I think of both sexes) and sensations, actions, etc. Pussy sounded better than the alternatives 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
joystir59 · 08/04/2021 14:55

Speaking as a lesbian, we generally have very satisfying sex that is definitely pussy-centric.

Original poster
Parkerwhereareyou · 08/04/2021 16:41

@joystir59

Speaking as a lesbian, we generally have very satisfying sex that is definitely pussy-centric.
@joystir59 👌

I would hope so ... I think the conflict comes in when there's a rather noticeable alternative focus. ...

OP posts:
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