How to give the ultimate BJ

[TopTips4TopTips]

Tips required.

I left a dead, sexless marriage a while ago, and feel horribly out of practice. It's been YEARS.

I've met a man, we are planning on getting intimate once lockdown lifts, and I'm excited to do this for him, but I'm REALLY anxious I'll be no good, I never felt confident doing it when I was younger, and now (mid-40s, out of practice) I'm even more anxious I'll be crap.
He's really important to me, I want to wow him.
Help!!!

Tips appreciated on this aspect, please.

Should say anatomical diagram showing nerve networks ... oh and I explained to him about his prostate gland as well ... bless him, for a guy with a dick, he didn't know much about it ... do they not do this stuff at school for guys?! (we women seem to have everyone and his uncle drawing our fallopian tubes for GCSE ; )

Yes, they think they don't want to so just going for it isn't a great idea, you need to talk about it.

And I've had partners who like it, partners who've never tried and don't want to, never tried and open to it, and those who give it a go but really don't like it.

So "always play with the arse" is not good advice.

I hate having my arse played with, I have anal fissures and it's agony.

[quote StarlightLady]@Mooncats - Some of us have been called names on here before. Giving details to every woman and her dog is different from providing something privately.

On a more general note porn is not a good educator.[/quote]
Thanks, I had my concerns re learning from porn, I'd rather read advice.

@ReadyforTakeOff

Osiris - rude and dismissive?! What are you on about? Maybe you have accidentally posted on the wrong thread?

Thanks, Ready. I couldn't see where I had been, either. I'm so grateful for people's kind advice.

@xpc316e

There are plenty of clips on Youtube giving advice on giving great blowjobs.

If you could link a few, I'd be grateful, thank you.

@Sparkybloke

From a man's perspective....focus on the tip....lots of nerve endings!!!. As others say....imagine an ice lolly but no biting!!! Everyone is different but for me it's not about how much you can fit in either.....just the top inch or two is fine....I like my balls to be gently massaged too but, as another thread says, doesn't work for every one. Ask....communication is everything.....and well worth establishing up front if you are happy for him to finish in your mouth or not...my partner is but it's not for everyone.....and lastly.....what he's eaten can affect the taste too so avoid curries that day. Maybe an urban myth but they say getting your man to drink pineapple juice a few hours beforehand can improve the taste if its something you don't much like....good luck...and remember what ever you do he will love anyhow so just relax and he in the moment...

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this – I am grateful, and I'm sure he will be too! We've already had the food/drink discussion – I've requested no coffee for 24 hours before we meet (I can't stand coffee). He's also quit meat and dairy for me, so I'm sure he'll taste delicious. I'd not heard about the pineapple though, so I'll bring a bottle of that! Or maybe a whole one. Thanks!

Ok, focus on the tip, and possibly his balls. We do communicate great, I just want to feel a bit more capable, you know? And not like a loser who's middle-aged but doesn't know her way around a penis well by now. Gawd, I don't actually feel middle-aged.

Ok, lollipop, lick, balls, caress, focus on tip. Thank you.

@mug2018

https://badgirlsbible.com/oral-sex-techniques

Take a look at badgirlsbible .. It has some useful tips & advice

Thanks very much. I'll look once I've finished replying to everyone.

@PinotPony

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sex/4046410-I-cant-give-a-blow-job

There's a few tips on this old thread...

Best advice is to ask him what he likes..!

Brill, thank you very much. I'll read that in a moment, and ask him, of course. Thank you.

@ReadyforTakeOff

Always play with the arse too.

Do you mean butt cheeks, or anus? He's already said Absolutely Not to anus stuff. I'm pretty sure he won't mind his arse being grabbed though. But will clarify.

@Overwhelmed245

Lots of confidence all my previous partners have loved the fact that I really get into it and enjoy it I actually really love giving blow Jobs. I use both hands starting by working my way down his body kissing and teasing all the way around the area before I take the tip with all the nerve endings and work my way down using hand and mouth I also like to cup the balls and gently play with them. But from all my feedback the real sexiness is in really enjoying it being confident act like you know what your doing even if you don’t have a clue

He already knows my confidence is a little low right now, and has been very kind about things. He knows I've not had sex in years, and had my confidence bruised in general. I want to be real, I think, not sure about faking confidence – am willing to be further advised on this though. I want to gain some confidence before going there, hence this thread, but I'm not sure I'll be oozing confidence when the time comes. Perhaps I worry too much, and maybe when the night comes, I'll be more relaxed about this. Thank you for the physical tips. I appreciate your time and help.

Interesting. This guy has already baulked at anal (he's sweet, a little old-fashioned and gentlemanly), but we've both said we will be open-minded. This anal thing feels like it's become more mainstream since I was last, er, single.

@Parkerwhereareyou

Should say anatomical diagram showing nerve networks ... oh and I explained to him about his prostate gland as well ... bless him, for a guy with a dick, he didn't know much about it ... do they not do this stuff at school for guys?! (we women seem to have everyone and his uncle drawing our fallopian tubes for GCSE ; )

Where is this diagram, please?!

@VanGoghsDog

Yes, they think they don't want to so just going for it isn't a great idea, you need to talk about it.

And I've had partners who like it, partners who've never tried and don't want to, never tried and open to it, and those who give it a go but really don't like it.

So "always play with the arse" is not good advice.

I hate having my arse played with, I have anal fissures and it's agony.

Thanks, I will bear all this in mind.

My gut feeling is I can't get passed the idea of 'but that's where the poo comes out', and that's gross. Even if you've just showered, and hosed yourself on full blast there.
I did have one guy insert the tip of his finger in my ass when I was doing rear cowgirl, and it DID feel fantastic/weird, but also I was a little like, yuck.

*past

Might be a good idea to get your confidence sucking his cock before you start massaging his prostate..! 😂 But do come back to us on that if you need to... 😉

@PinotPony

Might be a good idea to get your confidence sucking his cock before you start massaging his prostate..! 😂 But do come back to us on that if you need to... 😉

😂😂😂😂😂

I sure will! 😅

The best blow jobs ive ever had came with a lady I was seeing. She was really enthusiastic, kept telling how much she loved doing it and kept eye contact. it was amazing and so was she. I can still feel her lips today.

Arse play does help but don't go too big or too hard.

A suggestive finger waggle is all it takes..

That's helpful to know, ReadyforTakeOff ...

I progressed to a little bit of kissing of the area ... with some provisos/hygiene requirements (!) ... but honestly, it's not what one might think. Much nicer, actually.

I think the tongue might go along with the gentle finger to deliver results. This might be considered level 3, or 4, or even 5, though, OP. You do have to be very turned on to do it.

Start with the slow lick. Of the head.

@TopTips4TopTips

Am I? Where?!

I did look. Please link a couple.

I know we are all different. I was still hoping for some kind advice. I've already stated I'm really anxious and lack confidence. You could do with being kinder. Or simply not post. Now I feel shit.

Enjoy and he will enjoy it as well. It is all about both people enjoying it. Talk before and after. Talk and find what was good and learn and teach him what was good for you.

Think licking a melting luxury ice cream ...up and down the shaft. Little flips of the tongue at the tip, long wet licks, use your lips for suction, change your rotation clock wise then anti clockwise. Make eye contact. Be guided by the sounds your man is making.

@Rustyman

The best blow jobs ive ever had came with a lady I was seeing. She was really enthusiastic, kept telling how much she loved doing it and kept eye contact. it was amazing and so was she. I can still feel her lips today.

Wow, that's great. Will do that! Thanks!

@ReadyforTakeOff

Arse play does help but don't go too big or too hard.

A suggestive finger waggle is all it takes..

He's not keen.

@Parkerwhereareyou

That's helpful to know, ReadyforTakeOff ...

I progressed to a little bit of kissing of the area ... with some provisos/hygiene requirements (!) ... but honestly, it's not what one might think. Much nicer, actually.

I think the tongue might go along with the gentle finger to deliver results. This might be considered level 3, or 4, or even 5, though, OP. You do have to be very turned on to do it.

Start with the slow lick. Of the head.

Thanks.

I'm never licking anyone's ass.

@Paul72, will do, thank you.