How many times a week do you have sex?

[AskMeOnce]

I know this will have been asked a million times on MN....but I can't seem to find any of the threads.

How many times a week (on average) do you have sex?

And what is your age & your DP's age?

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If you have seen me on other threads you can guess my answer.

DW and I are 46 and DTD 0 times per week.

We haven’t DTD for 2 years and 4 months and before that probably a year. And the only time it was more frequent was TTC.

DW doesn’t think this is a problem.

DH always wanted it more than me so often felt rejected, but we managed once or twice a week, but over the last 12 months he's just given up with me, so we've not had sex in months. Both 40's.
He says he'll happily go along with it if I want some, but is done with asking and being rejected, so I guess that's my lot as the odd time I've gone with that, it's been rubbish as his heart has not been in it.

@MrsTombliboo

Do you expect this situation to last? I guess it’s dandy for you right now. I guess your DH can take it or leave it but at least you will come away with a house etc..
I love my DW very much but her indifference to the physical side of our marriage, lack of any affection and refusal to acknowledge my feelings even though I have point blank asked her about it, is seriously eating me up. Unfortunately it hasn’t recently waned it’s always been infrequent and only on her terms. Now I am in my 40s too i am becoming resentful of what I have missed and the thought of living the rest of my sorry years as a lonely provider of income. I used to at least enjoy arranging travel and adventures for my sons and DW but I can’t even look forward to doing that anymore.

Why do you stay when you feel like that SS? Will you stay forever on those terms?

@Vodkatonic8 I have children to consider and doubt if I could afford to pay for 2 households but I can’t see the point of staying on these terms. I certainly won’t stay forever even if that means working abroad, alone.

I can see a lot of people staying for the children. It’s a grim situation though when you feel like this. Good luck!

@Vodkatonic8 I guess this is why the deck always falls in favour of the partner indifferent to sex? It’s a grim existence but what can you do if both salaries are needed to keep a roof over their heads?

@MrsTombliboo

DH always wanted it more than me so often felt rejected, but we managed once or twice a week, but over the last 12 months he's just given up with me, so we've not had sex in months. Both 40's. He says he'll happily go along with it if I want some, but is done with asking and being rejected, so I guess that's my lot as the odd time I've gone with that, it's been rubbish as his heart has not been in it.

I'm not surprised his heart isn't in it. Have you considered what the rejection feels like?

Every time we were together for first 3 years .... so probs all weekend and one in the week but every day twice a day on holidays .
Now it's 2-3 times a week and more at weekend s but living together and both working in the NHS very long hours this year.

@MirandaMarple

It's a tricky one, as yes, he frequently got rejected, but that's because his sex drive was much higher than mine. So if he wanted sex 5 times a week and I only wanted it twice, he'd get rejected 3 out of 5 times.

But now I feel I'm being punished for not wanting sex as much as him for the majority of our marriage. I can't accuse him of withholding sex, because if I ask for it now, he'll oblige, but it's just not the same as he's just going through the motions, doesn't climax etc so it's all a bit crap.

Once a day. Sometimes 2 times a day, if we have been out for dinner date (usually twice a week).
I’m 35 he’s 40. No children (by choice).

OP, it should be normal and it should be expected. Your needs are important. Just enjoy.

In the past, as some regulars on these boards will know, l have been criticised for admitting to having a pre-sex conversation before inviting someone new into my bed. I still think it’s the right way to go.

An attentive bed friend will get pleasure from seeing your own pleasure.

Sorry, posted the above on the wrong thread. It’s early!

@timkerbellx interesting that you both work in the NHS. My DW also but it has often been cited as an excuse for her indifference to sex. Nice to see that people can do a stressful and demanding job and still find time and desire for each other.

I am not totally unreasonable and once a month would probably be enough to demonstrate some kind of affection or some kind of bond other than child care, cleaning and paying the bills (yes I do my fair share)

I am 40 and DH is 41.

We have sex about 2-3 times a week when we are working and more often when we are off.

But, I wish we could have sex more often. I’d like it at least once a day. Sadly, DH doesn’t have the libido to keep up. I treated myself to the Lelo Sona though, so it’s all good.

Three to four times a week, pronably three quickies and one longer session. He has a high sex drive and would probably like it three times a day but you know, work, kids, housework etc.

I'm 37, he's 30. Been together almost ten years.

Crikey Moses! There's a lot of sex going on! I'm 43, dh is 52, and we haven't had anything remotely approaching sex since our youngest was conceived. He's 9 next week. . . .
When I finally snapped and went to a counsellor she nearly fell on the floor. It was 8 years at the time, and she thought I was about to say we'd gone 8 months without, which would have been shocking enough. She said I should be having it morning noon and night! So, seeing all your comments here, and thinking about what she said, I no longer have the opinion that married couples' sex lives just fizzle out. They clearly don't! We are clearly not normal!

Not enough lately but used to be 3 times a week

I'm 34 - DP is 37.

Probably twice a week - it used to be a lot more. There's BJs and HJs when I'm ( not available )

It has dwindled, I'm curious as to why? Been together 4 years.
Sometimes my depression doesn't help - I'd like more sex. Confidence is always a problem for me too.

Maybe tonight ;)

Well let’s just say things can change. And sometimes within the blink of an eye.

Up until and in September, we were having sex 4/5 times a week. I even gloated about it on this thread.

That was until I had a routine operation, that apparently should take a couple of weeks max to heal. Almost a month later my fanny still aches and the thought of sex makes me cry.

So we went from 4/5 to 0 overnight.

I hope to god I’m a slow healer and I can go back to the old ways soon, but currently not seeing a light at the end of that tunnel

About 3-4 a week, im 31, Dh 39

It varies, however, it tends to be every Saturday and Sunday morning and then sporadic during the week, all dependant on how busy we’ve been.

The midweek stuff will either be full piv or handjob/bj, again dependent on mood and levels of tiredness!

I’m 44 and DW is 43. We have 2 kids.

I am amazed that:
a)People over 40/50 who have been together over 20years are still having sex 2 or more times a week
b) so many men seem to have lower sex drives than women.

I always was under the impression that frequency waned over time to less than 1 x a week and often to no sex at all and that women's libido dropped with the menopause and reduced oestrogen.

For the record, 53&57. 2 times - 4 times a week but I thought we were unusual. Not so apparently!

Me - male & nearly 64,
Partner - female & 53.

The answer to the frequency question is 'not enough'. We have been together for 17 years and would like to have sex more often, but life and shift work gets in the way.

Over the years we have replaced quantity with quality to some extent, and we have great fun in bed.

My partner is 45 and I’ve just turned 40 we have 3 children from previous marriages between us and one child together. We’ve been together 4 years and it’s gone from having sex most nights to it dwindling to now just once a month if I initiate it. I really really miss sex and would like it 2-3 times a week but he just isn’t interested and if I try to talk to him about it he just says it’s not a priority for him and that I’m obsessed with sex so I’ve stopped trying . Im not initiating it anymore and I’m trying my best to accept my life is pretty much going to be celibate. It’s really not fair but what can you do, I also think it’s drives a wedge between us . I know he still loves me he still is affectionate and gives me cuddles snd holds my hand and will do anything for me but I don’t think he must desire me or find me attractive anymore.I’ve asked him loads of times he assures me he does but I don’t think he’d admit it and i always think actions speak louder than words. He’s definitely not gay either . History of porn use but says stopped a couple of years ago when we had a bit of upset of it (not sure if he still does or not try not to think about it) I haven’t had sex since I turned 40 it’s so depressing I love him and still really find him attractive and the rest our life and relationship is good in every other aspect so I suppose you can’t have it all.