To feel guilty about sex life..

[New2thismumthing]

Hi all,

Before I got pregnant DH and I had a decent sex life, we've been together 4 years, married 2 and would have sex once or twice a week, more if on holiday etc nothing exciting as DH is quite vanilla but that's okay with me (I don't mean this in a bad way).

When I got pregnant we had sex once and then Hyperemesis hit and I just couldn't, I was so tired and sick and DH understood, he never pressured me or even mentioned it but after 8 weeks I pressured myself and when I felt a bit better I rushed to have sex. It wasn't great and now I feel awful for him, I wasn't really interested in it (not because of hubby, I love him and I'm still very attracted to him) but I feel like a whale, my boobs hurt, my belly hurts and I just feel gross and due to not having sex for like 8 weeks and not being that interested - it really hurt. I just have a low sex drive at the moment, I haven't even indulged in self sex as I'm really just not interested.

My husband seems to understand and he's a very good husband and man but I can't help but feel guilty - I'm currently 18 weeks nearly 19 weeks pregnant - will things start to improve for me sexually or is it a case of just getting on with it for DHs sake until the baby is born before I can enjoy it again?

With my first son we last had sex when I was about 13 weeks pregnant and then didn’t have sex again until our son was over a year old.

I had no desire for sex AT ALL!

When I was pregnant with our second son, we had sex when I was about 22 weeks pregnant and then not again until our son was about 2 years old.

Again, I had no drive for it at all and I don’t think breast feeding helped.

I stopped breast feeding about two months ago (son was just under 3) and I finally feel like my sex drive is returning and me and DH are now working on getting things back on track.

I reckon we’ve had sex about 30 times in the last six years so we are both very excited about me having the urges again and we are both looking forward to getting our sex live back to how it used to be!!!!

Don’t be hard on yourself - pregnancy, childbirth, breast feeding etc can all have a massive impact on sex drive and it’s just a case of accepting things as they are, day by day, and just wait for things to change for the better.

Congratulations on your pregnancy