So... here's what I've done. Is it tragic or exciting?

[doesthissoundok]

I'm 44 and in the middle of a horrible, soul destroying divorce which has utterly battered my confidence. I'm not in the right place for a relationship but I miss sex and intimacy soooo.... having read some threads on here, I joined Fabswingers (hate the name, makes me think of weird orange, wrinkly sex people) and have made a date to meet a man this weekend, just to see if we click. Public place meeting, no expectations of more just yet. Please can you tell me if
a) this seems safe
b) this makes me a sad, desperate old slapper
c) ridiculous
Thanks for any feedback - I've got my tough skin on!

I don't think I'd do that personally. Sex is one thing but looking in a place like that will bring men who are sleeping with lots of people and therefore more risk...infection and so on.

I think you'd be better off on a normal dating site like Plenty of Fish or something.

Oh dear. I hadn't thought of that but did put on my profile about safe sex only. Is PoF just for proper relationships or FWB stuff?

Yes
No
Most definitely not.

Good luck and have fun.

Do you use it Spasiba?

I agree with Spasiba. It’s no different really meeting someone from a swing site or a dating site, if a chap wants sex then they could be on either sort of site, IYSWIM.
Just because someone is on a dating site doesn’t mean they aren’t looking purely for sex, and vice versa.

Stay safe, and have some fun!

I’m on fab.

If you pick the right man there is no reason there more likely to have a sti then any other bloke from fab/tinder.

From my experience men from fab are more aware of health risks and play safer. Get tested a bit more regularly.

A)sounds very safe.

A man took me for lunch last week from fab. He was great and I’m meeting him next week again in a hotel room.

B&C) defiantly not! Go and enjoy yourself.

If you want any help/hints or tips then let me know.

Do you find that people are happy to stick to your boundaries? I'vr been quite upfront about what I like/ don't like

a) this seems safe
Yes - you're meeting him in a public place. Tell a friend where you are meeting. Have a drink or a coffee and if you like the look of each other then either arrange another meet or just go and have some fun.

b) this makes me a sad, desperate old slapper
No !! And if it does then welcome to the sad, desperate old slapper club 😬

c) ridiculous
No again !! There's plenty of nice guys on Fab, who will insist on playing safe, and are just after the same as you are - NSA fun !
Read their verifications, quiz them about their kinks (although they might not have any), find out about their personal lives, have the phone call and/or video call and see how easy they are to talk to. Be confident, take no shit as they'll be plenty to choose from ;-)

I bet you probably get a zillion messages so use your filters and even block guys from messaging whilst you look for what takes your fancy x

Of course they'll stick to your boundaries - Just like you would with theirs ....

If you get the slightest inclination that something isn't right then just stop messaging and block them.

I've met more time wasters, who message you constantly with no intention of meeting you, on pof/tinder/bumble than I have on Fab ....

Thanks for the advice all. You don't sound like scary, wrinkly, orange sex people! 😉

Good luck.

It just sounds like POF but, with honesty

I'm not orange or wrinkly! I hear from friends that POF and OKC are just as sex orientated as Fabs - but you can hide behind a screen of 'dating' as opposed to just shagging.

You're in a public place so you'll be fine. If you want to add a get out clause get a friend to call you 10 minutes in to say shes locked herself out of the house and can you bring her spare set round. This means you can bail out if you want.

You're not sad, ridiculous or a slapper. Have a great time and enjoy the attention!

Nothing wrong with it at all TBH fab is it purely about sex don't expect relationship keep safe .
They have verifications so you can see them on there profile it normally shag you and on to the next.
As long as you have no expectations enjoy yourself.

Sorry for the slow reply. I don't use it, I'm happily married.
But you do seem to have taken sensible precautions, and you definitely don't sound ridiculous or desperate. In fact you sound very level headed, and rather attractive in your confidence.

As you will shag them and onto the next ;-)

Not sure if you may just use Fab as a one off but don't get too attached to any one guy and don't let them Love Bomb you with messages .... Keep it purely professional xx

It's fine and can be a confidence boost. Just don't rush into things that feel uncomfortable or not 100% enjoyable - there's plenty of men to choose from on fab and very few women that are actually available (most already have a long waiting list of potential 'friends' to choose from). Single women on sex sites are called unicorns for a reason. You can be very, very picky and take all the time in the world to hook up with the right person, use it to your advantage.

I’ve used Fab. I met a couple of guys. All were respectful and discrete. My boundaries were well respected. Safe sex was practiced. Currently have a FWB from fab and don’t have time for others. Will happily go back to fab if my current arrangement ends.

Those who favour Fab, how is it better than say Tinder? Are they just more frank and straightforward?

@summerhillsquare - I would say yes they are. With tinder they can pretend they want to date blah blah but with fab it’s more straight to the point.

You know they want sex. How kinky etc can be discussed openly and no one feels like they need to hold back.
You can see there verifications so the type of women they go for and if they get verified often how many and how regular.

And also you get to see an upfront picture of the "goods" .... And then ask for the face picture 😂

I had a fwb for over a year from fab. There's a lot of weirdos but theres a lot of decent guys too.

@lmnoh Facial pictures? How disgusting.

@waterSpider To be fair, most of them are truly disgusting 🙄

@doesthissoundok
I was in the same situation as you. I joined fab and I’m having an amazing time.
I’ve met lovely, kind respectful people. I’ve had lots of fun, and I’ve made lots of new friends too.
My boundaries get more respected now than they ever were in my marriage, but I always tell prospective partners about my situation so they are aware, which has worked well for me.
As long as you are sensible and careful it will be fine (more than fine).
If you have any questions feel free to message me.

@Summerhillsquare
Lots of people are on both, but fab people are more upfront, and you can see mor about them before you contact them, such as more pictures, and verifications from others.
I got fed up with Tinder pretty quickly