So... here's what I've done. Is it tragic or exciting?

[doesthissoundok]

I'm 44 and in the middle of a horrible, soul destroying divorce which has utterly battered my confidence. I'm not in the right place for a relationship but I miss sex and intimacy soooo.... having read some threads on here, I joined Fabswingers (hate the name, makes me think of weird orange, wrinkly sex people) and have made a date to meet a man this weekend, just to see if we click. Public place meeting, no expectations of more just yet. Please can you tell me if
a) this seems safe
b) this makes me a sad, desperate old slapper
c) ridiculous
Thanks for any feedback - I've got my tough skin on!

Well I have just joined and it's a revelation! Good luck OP.

I signed up to it about a month ago and got totally overwhelmed by all the messages and wrote it off as too much admin!
Did NOT realise you can hide your profile and do the ‘hunting’ for yourself! 😂 Giving it a second chance now and enjoying myself a lot more

I’ve yet to meet anyone but I agree with PPs that I prefer it to the apps as it’s so upfront.

Or you can hide your profile from single blokes and then check out who's "liked" your photos ;-)

You don’t need to hide your profile, you can block messages from single men, in your message filters

I took inspiration from this thread and joined fabswingers too.
Omg had SO MANY messages from men it was overwhelming.
I was a little weirded out that they wanted naked pics as a kind of Intro.

Remember. YOUR TERMS.
Send what you want. If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it.

I agree .... don't get dragged down that road if you're not comfortable with it. It's easy to get carried away (been there, done that 🙄)

There's plenty of girls on there who give away far too much on their profile pic but stay classy and leave a little to the imagination ;-)

Sounds pretty awful touting around for men and sex. You may as well put an ad in your local newsagents etc.

Why? It's excellent. Choosing men on OUR terms when we don't want a relationship but don't want to sleep around. Judge away!

@1forAll74
Welcome to 2020, where women can have sex if they want to, and you know what? It’s ok, and some of us even enjoy it!!

Bravo!!!!!

@1forAll74 What a good idea .... Be handy for the local available gentlemen.

Please don't judge us ... we are sensible, confident women, who have needs. Ideally those needs would be met by a loving life partner but until we find him .. what's a girl to do 🤷‍♀️

Little update... after making the arrangement to meet up, the bloke in question got too full on for my liking and I cancelled, at which point he started swnding fairly obnoxious messages. I was inundated by dick pics and offers of violent sexual acts and then sent abusive messages for deleting unsolicited dick pics as, apparently, it's rude not to talk to someone if they've so kindly told you that they are ready to fuck you. I'm pleased for those of you who have had a good time on the website but, really, it just became a seething pit of violent misogyny once I started laying down boundaries. Vile!

Just to clarify - the abuse I received was off a variety of men, not just the original nut job. Full of absolute wankers (I suspect literally!)

That’s a shame, my experience has been very different. I’ve met some lovely people on there.
Maybe hide your account for a bit, or frequent the forums, you can get a good idea about what people are like on there.
Message me if you want.

That’s a shame.

I delete messages all the time without reading them and I delete them if I don’t like the look of them and Iv never got a pissy message asking why.

Iv never been offered violent sex acts either! Normally we get chatting and then likes/dislikes are spoke about.

It’s a shame you have had a shit time.
I spent today with a bloke from there and he was a decent man

@1forAll74 women are allowed to like and enjoy sex when not in a relationship. Geez. This is the sex section, not for prudes who think it’s awful to hook up with men for Just sex😂

Let us know his username ... we can have some fun with him ;-)

Oh yes.....probably worth a 5 day ban for!

I found my (now) ex on there claiming to be ‘genuinely single’ ... saw his verifications (feedback) and my god, he had been with some women who had been with tons of men. Safe sex does not mean you can’t catch an STD. You can get herpes from oral sex alone for example. I get that it’s a valuable site for some people, but so many liars, cheats and weird men on there... my ex for one!!

I think a lot of the men on there are married. No face pictures tends to give it away. I tried it and deleted it after one night. 170 messages, mostly with Hi babe or Hi Sexy. Loads of doc pics and hardly a coherent sentence between them. I’m dipping my toe in the water with various sites at the moment and this one most definitely isn’t for me!

@Teafortwohundred
No face pics is not necessarily because they are married. I don’t have a face pic as I don’t want people knowing I’m on there.
You can block messages from men and search yourself. That’s what I did
Also, the forums are a great way of getting to know people

I was in a fab date last night ... 1 g&t in a bar, bit of chit chat and home, on my own because I was tired.
Lovely guy - same position as me, likes meeting people but doesn't wants a relationship.
It's sad that others aren't having a good experience 😕
Although I've learnt a lot on how to use it in the last 6 months ;-)

I think you have to get used to it, it took me a while to get to grips with it
I send no thanks messages all the time and I’ve not had an abusive message so far

I'm happy that people are having better experiences than I did but genuinely can't be arsed to spend time getting to grips with it. Just seemed horribly misogynistic to me. At least I learned something about myself though. Much rather be on my own entirely than put up with any shit whatsoever! Go me!