Have I gone off sex or is it my husband I've gone off ?

[imnotinthemood]

My and dh been together a long time since I was in my late teens , 2 dc 1 is a teenager 1 Is early 20s .
We hardly have sex maybe 1 a month or sometimes can go longer .
Twice this week dh has initiated sex but I've said no . I don't fancy it and thought of him all hot on top of me puts me off .
I'm worried do I fancy him still ? Or do I just not feel like sex anymore.
I still love him but I don't know I just really can't be bothered with it all .
I know I couldn't live in a sexless marriage .
Any advice I couldn't speak to any friends as I'd hate anyone to think we have marriage problems and we don't we get along great most of her time it's just the sex .

and we don't we get along great most of her time it's just the sex

Did you mean to say that you do get along great most of the time?

How old are you and are you on hormonal BC?

Yes sorry typo and I thought I proof read .
I'm in my early 40s

I have a contraceptive implant .

It sounds more like your libido in general rather than something specific to your DH.

Assuming you're not on hormonal birth control, which can be a real libido killer, you might be going into perimenopause or your hormones may be off. Can you book a visit with your gynecologist to have your hormones checked and talk to him or her about it?

It's really hard for anyone to tell you, I thought I'd lost my libido after 3 years of never really feeling like it, my husband and I separated and 6 months into a new relationship I could happily do it all day every day

Thanks for the replies.
If I make the effort or we have a nice evening away from the kids in a hotel then that's great .
That's the thing when your kids are older and you can't send them to bed at 7pm like when they are little you do find it hard to make the time .
I will try and speak to dh but he's one of those not talking about feelings.