AIBU to ask if you use any sort of sex toys?

[BootsMagoots]

I mean, I know it would be unreasonable if I asked a random stranger in the street

But, well, do you?

I am 30 and married to good man. Been together since 16. We have one child and have lots of sex... but I rarely orgasm. When I do it's brilliant. Sometimes it leads to frustration for me and anxiety for him because it takes so long and still doesn't happen. I wanted to get something to help me, erm, you know, but haven't any idea where to start? It's got to the point now where we don't even try to "sort me out" because it won't happen.

I suffer with a bit of sexual anxiety so hate talking about this kind of thing with my husband. I usually just talk jibberish and kill the moment.

Sorry if it is a bit much, but I'm really just after any reviews/recommendations.

---

If you've found this page in your search of the best sex toys that can help you achieve orgasm and have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best sex toys for women useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Get a little bullet shaped vibrator, me and my DH have always had a good sex life but i was the same as you, always struggled to get there before he did. Its worked wonders :)

Try Lovehoney. They have loads of sex toys and reviews from customers on there.

Some of the contraptions on LoveHoney look terrifying

Yeah... there are some... ‘niche’ products on there alright! Also some much less intimidating stuff though .

Depends on what you want to spend. It's good to spend a bit of alone time with something to find where all your spots are. A womonizer is really worth the money bit wands are good as well. When you feel at ease with yourself then you can bring stuff in to use together.

Some woman struggle to orgasm during sex. Depends on the angle and whether the man can reach it I think.

You could get a willy ring? We have one and it’s great It means you can orgasm during sex as opposed to a separate situation. If you’ve got anxiety about sex you should also try to get some control over it, it’s your body you enjoy having sex with your partner but you can always makesthings more fun and pleasurable for you which in turn will make your partner enjoy sex more. Make it fun, build on your sexual confidence and maybe if you don’t want to talk about it with your partner just go onto lovehoney and shop together? Might make it easier to have a look around and see what’s on offer as a couple :) good luck!

*womanizer even

I do... Used vibrators for yrs when I was stuck in sex less marriage.
Now have very open minded dp and we both enjoy toys now and again.
I'd suggest you start with a bullet vibrator, they are small, and you can use them on your own or your dp can use them for/on you and probably best for you, you can use them during sex to help you achieve orgasm too.
Hope this isn't tmi but best position for this, I think, is if dp is behind you, you can then slip bullet into 'position' against you and it will vibrate against you while you and dp carry on...
The other toy I have had much fun with was one called we vibe. It was c shaped with two vibrating pads at each end, it sits in the vagina and round to cup the clitorus. Your dp get vibration against him and it hits g spot and clitorus.
It was tricky to use though, very slippy!!!
And expensive.
Start with a bullet which are non threatening to dp and cheap to buy.

Hah OP a lot of the products with reviews will let you know if they’re beginner friendly.... you don’t need to buy the big cary stuff

Go on lovehoney, look at the basics range and get a little bullet.
Don't even look at the scary stuff!
They have great customer addicts and have loads of advice and reviews. Have a look around the site and at the advice pages.

The iwand wireless massager. It looked a little scary at first but OMG If you want to use it while dtd there is a mini version to start with.

Bondara is really good. Vibrators are really good or wands. Lelo is a good brand, expensive but powerful with multiple functions so you can test them out! I would suggest going to an Ann summer store if you can so you can see the range and fiddle around with them to see which one you’d prefer

Butt plug. That'll sort you right out.

Never really understood sex toys tbh, just seems like something people with an unsatisfactory sex life would need/want. confused

Don't be so ridiculous

Jabber - it's a well known fact that not all women can orgasm through penetration, or orgasm at all. My sex life is more than satisfactory, it is enjoyable, I just can't orgasm.

Thanks everybody. I'm a bit of a novice as you can tell. I'm always wary of reviews on sites just incase people have been paid to put on a good one (I'm an over thinker) and thought this would be the best option for me, real reviews/recommendations.

Never really understood sex toys tbh, just seems like something people with an unsatisfactory sex life would need/want.

Never really understood people who come onto threads to say things like this tbh, just seems like something people who are completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence would say/do.

I second the Willy ring.

Without sounding patronising I kinda wanna add a 'well done' for asking - it's not an easy subject even on an anonymous forum!

I hope you get your orgasm 😁

Hi OP, hope you don't mind but we're going to move your thread over to our Sex topic.

(We can see you've been on the site for years, in case anyone was concerned...)

I developed delayed orgasms as a result of taking anti-depressants. It's really, really common. It's on that that I based my recommendation to you OP - enjoy!

I have a husband who's really good in bed, no toys needed

No you don't. You happen to have a husband whose biology fits with yours meaning you can orgasm together.

Never really understood sex toys tbh, just seems like something people with an unsatisfactory sex life would need/want

Look, you seem to be really lacking in not only imagination, but you have a major empathy bypass.

I always think it prudent to sense the tone of the thread before posting utter bollocks a rather pointless opinion

Hi OP I'm in a similar situation to you i.e. been with hubby since 16, happens to be my only sexual partner, one kid together. We've been together 15 years this year and have got into a good habit of it being 'my turn' first as I also rarely orgasm with penetration then that takes the pressure off - in more ways than one. Lol. Do you have any friends you could throw an Anne Summers party with? Good excuse for a girly night and a few drinks.

Yes I have a couple of small bullet vibrators and use them alone and with my partner. I can orgasm during penetrative sex but only in one position, we often use the vibrator during foreplay as well as during sex. My DP doesn’t have any issue with it, although he can ‘get me there’ on his own, he is perfectly comfortable with the fact he can’t vibrate! I started having sex young but it was only through experimenting alone with a vibrator that I really learned my own body. This then helped sex with partners because I was able to show and tell what I liked.

I have this one and I’d definitely recommend it. It’s very small and quiet, lots of settings so you can experiment. Have a play on your own and as you learn what you like you’ll be able to show your parter too. I’d also recommend reading some erotic literature (like Literotica.com) some people can get arroused from memory, personally I can’t and need a bit of help.
www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=35057

Good luck

*I have a husband who's really good in bed, no toys needed.

Never really understood sex toys tbh, just seems like something people with an unsatisfactory sex life would need/want.*

Aren't you just delightful @JabberWabber? Such empathy and understanding.
Why even comment on the thread?