Difficulty with orgasms

[Ginandtonic4all]

Hello. I am one year out of a 22 year marriage and part of my 'journey' is to sort my personal sex life out.

I was unable to orgasm with a partner or on my own for a very long time. Could never get in the zone or feel the physical sensations. About 5 years ago I managed to orgasm using a vibrator only - without one I can get half way there and very turned on by man or hand but never to the next stage.

I am just to 'present' and start thinking about it too much - the vibrator tends to override the interferance from my thoughts.

So any advice on how to sort this out. I am very open to any suggestions - I was booked into a healing tantric massage but the recomended person let me down.

Please help - it is becoming a real issues as I am meeting new men and having a good time but either have to fake an orgasm or deal with their persistance that they can make me orgasm etc etc

Was the tantric massage to include a yoni massage?

Noego yes. Didn't want to say that in case the Mumsnet police brigade choked in!

Chimes not choked - eeeek!!!!

There are a number of ways that tantric methods can help. An understanding of tantric methods is crucial, but can be self administered (so to speak).
A tantric shower meditation can help you relax for instance, followed by tantric masturbation. A discovering of ones own body and pudendal nerves surrounding the yoni.

Yeah, I started having this problem since I split with my ex after a 13 year relationship. I actually have to be really turned on and feel really into it now in order to get there. This link may help, lots of useful videos, I have found - www.youtube.com/user/carlincherrybomb/videos

Most important thing is to be patient with yourself and don't keep trying to force it to happen.

Just popping in from the other thread - I've bitten the bullet, as it were, and subscribed to omgyes and I think it's genuinely helpful.