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Original poster

Losing my virginity !

66 replies

Toastyteacakes · 10/07/2017 21:04

Hello !
This is my first time posting here but have been lurking on Mumsnet for a few months now as I love the advice that you can get about almost anything !
I am a 20 year old female and I am planning on losing my virginity soon and would really appreciate some advice on how to prepare , what to expect and how to ensure I have a good first experience.
Thank you in advance Smile

OP posts:
TryHarderWillis · 10/07/2017 21:05

Planning, as in booked and appointment?

chowmeinchick · 10/07/2017 21:07

It won't feel great.

OlennasWimple · 10/07/2017 21:09

Be prepared to be underwhelmed

Don't be surprised if you don't bleed

Have a drink beforehand (or whatever relaxes you) but don't be drunk

notanurse2017 · 10/07/2017 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Toastyteacakes · 10/07/2017 21:12

@TryHarderWillis
No ! I have finally met someone that I feel comfortable and ready to have sex with and I can see it happening sometime in my near future. I just want to be ready in case it does happen so it will be a postive experience for us both Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Toastyteacakes · 10/07/2017 21:21

I fully expect that the first few times won't be great and it may be painful ! I am a little worried about how painful it might be but partner is older and has more experience than me so am hoping that goes in my favour

OP posts:
DubaiismyBlackpool · 10/07/2017 21:26

I'm assuming your partner is male for my advice to apply. First, take your time and don't rush. Use a condom, it's an old saying, but if he cares, he wears. Have lube handy and when he first penetrates you, you might feel he's gone into your anus instead of vagina, but it's probably not. A friend of mine waited many years to meet Mr Right, so asked me why I didn't mention that nugget Blush. I'd simply forgotten.
Don't worry if you don't orgasm and his semen may 'leak' back out after a few minutes, it's totally normal. However, pain isn't normal after the first time, if it persists, go to see the Dr.
It may take a few times before you start to enjoy it - as long as there's no pain.
You may get cystitis or thrush as you're now introducing something new to your body - totally normal too and see a Dr.

Good luck.

Cuckingfunt1981 · 10/07/2017 21:27

First time is bloody awful and not at all like in the movies ........

AdalindSchade · 10/07/2017 21:34

Make sure you are really turned on beforehand and use lots of lube

AdalindSchade · 10/07/2017 21:35

And get him to go really slow. There is no need to 'break' anything - if he goes slow enough and with enough lube he will get it in with minimal pain (ideally none)

Original poster
Toastyteacakes · 10/07/2017 21:39

We are definely going to be using condoms ! I have booked a Dr's appointment next week to get on birth control but am concerned we might have sex before then but if use a condom we should be safe enough , shouldn't we Blush

OP posts:
Emboo19 · 10/07/2017 21:44

Doesn't have to be awful at all! Does he known you're a virgin?
Take your time, do lots of the other stuff first and build up to it slowly.

My first time really didn't hurt, a little at the start but it wasn't really painful or anything.

Emboo19 · 10/07/2017 21:45

Know not known!!

PacificDogwod · 10/07/2017 21:49

If you trust him and like him, then just have some fun.
Let one thing lead to another and enjoy yourself.
Do nothing you are not comfortable doing and keep safe (condoms!).
The first time can and should be fun!

Original poster
Toastyteacakes · 10/07/2017 21:51

@Emboo19
Yes he knows I am a virgin and has been really understanding about it and hasn't pressured me at all regarding sex. I just want us both to enjoy this together

OP posts:
Emboo19 · 10/07/2017 22:05

Then he'll know he needs to take it slow. Don't rush straight to sex, have a few foreplay only sessions first (if you haven't already) so you know what turns you on and you feel comfortable with him.

AkimboLimbo · 10/07/2017 22:13

It doesn't have to hurt!!
It really annoys me when I read that as a foregone conclusion. It hurts for many women because we don't know what we are doing and nor does the man we are with.
Take it slow. The vagina needs to stretch and it's not a good idea to do that all in one go. He needs to go gently with his fingers first, start with 1, then 2, then 3, slowly, carefully and gently so no thrusting. Use lube if you need to - it really helps.
You can started on your own in advance if you like.

If sex hurts, stop and try again another day.

adifferentnameforthis · 10/07/2017 22:15

Doesn't have to be awful - foreplay, take your time, enjoy Smile

Pannalash · 10/07/2017 22:16

Never heard that before Dubai Hmm

Bunlicker · 10/07/2017 22:17

I hope this thread doesn't turn in to "helpful" men giving you puke worthy advice on 'taking a lover'.

Op it didn't hurt my first time which was a one night stand. It did hurt when I got my first bf though because we went at it like rabbits and I was not accustomed to that amount of friction!!

Bunlicker · 10/07/2017 22:18

Oh and if you've used a vibrator etc you've already basically done it so there is nothing to worry about except having fun

number1wang · 10/07/2017 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seachangeshell · 10/07/2017 22:29

Yes, take your time. If you trust him and he cares about you then it should be a positive experience.
You need to be fully turned on before intercourse so go slow.
And it needn't hurt. It didn't for me. Even though I did lose my virginity to a complete wanker who dumped me straight after. (Doesn't sound like that will happen to you though- you sound much more sorted than I was).

GladAllOver · 10/07/2017 22:38

Have lots of foreplay to get really aroused before penetration. Be ready to tell him what you like and don't like.

user1483617032 · 10/07/2017 22:45

Use lube, that's my advice.

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