My partners penis never moves at the sight of me

[xxdriftwoodxx]

Hi all
After being together a few years and living with no sex due to my partner having ED, I was shocked to find out he'd been meeting men usually not always dressed as women, for oral sex. On the site he put down his. Moments in the meets with these people. We separated them got back together December 2015. We had a few attempts of sex where I had to dress up to get him aroused.
But since then nothing happens.
I miss the vulnerability of being sexually close to a person I love, in fact it's eating me alive.
Last year on a rare day we had sex, he asked if we could get a third person to join us.
16 months later, I am beginning to resent my bloke, he's no natural instinct to want sex with me and he says at our age middle 50,s im expecting too much if I hope for a normal regular sex life!
I'm ready to explode as I feel I being unfair, am I?
Please I really don't know any more and it's affecting me as I feel like I am the bad person xx

Look. He's attracted to men. He isn't attracted to you.

He's cheated on you. He's lied to you. He's lied to the he therapist wanting to help him.

Even if he is not gay more bisexual - and believe me straight men do not let gay men suck their cock. They are gay or bi in denial - he has mislead you, lied and cheated on you. He doesn't care about you. He just wants to have a "girlfriend" as proof he isn't gay.

What more do you need ? What else will you put up with ?

HE LOVES COCK

Gah.

Why are you blindly accepting his bullshit?
Sex addiction yet won't shag the easiest available option? He cheated on you regardless of it being a man or woman.

Living a lie is worse than living without sex.

The bottom line is, do you want to be considerably under-fucked, from your now 55ish, until either of you dies, or finds someone else?

Hi
I have a grown up family but nonof my own, no parents, siblings or relations.
I moved away from where I'd lived for 14 years after my divorce .
So yes part of this is, scared , scared I'm making the wrong move for the wrong reasons.hence my annoying hesitation about things.
Truth is I was on here 4 years ago after my husband had an affair so I'm feeling pretty stupid as I'm in a worse situation with a most unlikely person too.
So that's why I need to feel certain I'm considering everything.
I'm drained to be honest and the choice isn't as easy as it looks but something I need to do and yes I scared of ending up alone and struggling , 🌹
It's true, living a lie is worse than the no sex

I'm sorry you're scared op, it is understandable, the thought of such a big change can be daunting. But you can start now, you know? Branch out, get out there a bit. Gain some confidence.

You know that 'straight' men don't have any kind of sex with men, oral, penetrative or whatever. And really, the most important thing is that he isn't remotely interested in improving things for you. He sounds like he is mean to you really. You can do better and you deserve better. But you won't ever get better if you don't make changes. And it's not selfish to end a relationship because your husband is an unfaithful, selfish, uncaring prick who you also get no sex from.

That's the best bit of advice I've been given,
In my mind no matter what, if he's turned to men instead of women or prostitutes then that's his preference , I'm on a losing battle and I am just covering for him and yes he will replace me with another female but she will endure the whole situation I have but she may not look to find out why he's not having sex with me ,

He's clearly gay x sorry x

Op, not ending s relationship due to lack of sex is common, many people are happy in a sexless relationship.

Your relationship is different, because he is having sex, he's having sex with other men, and yes oral sex is still sex.

For me if that side wore off with my husband I wouldn't end it. If I found out he was having sex with blokes or even other women I'd be out of there like a shot. If I found out he had done it, a year ago, two years ago, it would be game over. I would not want to have sex with him ever again.

We all have different standards. You and I are opposites, he has cheated on you, he doesn't want to be with you physically , he is not attracted to you, and yet your main concern is you want to be with him physically.

I don't think many people can help you with that.i really don't.

Thank you I appreciate that xx

My thought was, he insists he is interested in me, yet we don't then we'll try, then nothing for 6 months or a year....... I'm just confused by my instinct and thoughts with his artirutude and thoughts.
🌻🌻🌻

He's lying because he's happy with the status quo. He gets a sociably acceptable (in his view) girlfriend and partner who he doesn't have to have a relationship with.

He is making you unhappy. And he doesn't care. He knows you are unhappy and upset. He'd rather hang on to you regardless to make him feel better. That's all it is. Which makes him even worse in my book.

So true, I see that now xx

So true, I see that now xx