Would you class sex as a favour?

[minion246]

My DP and I had sex this morning. He has just said you should be fine for another week now! So I answered so I should be a good girl now and he said well yes, I've just done you a favour and gave you sex. I don't class sex a favour!! Just because we had sex doesn't mean that I have to do things (ie get up and get him things or go to the shop for him etc) in return. What is everyone else's point of view?

What the actual fuck? He's an arsehole. Sex isn't (shouldn't be, anyway) a commodity to be traded.

Does he have any redeeming features?

I feel like I need way more information here... is your relationship usually about favours?

Are you sure he wasn't joking?

Say what now?! Was he joking?

Urgh.

I'd assume he's just joking. If not then you've got an issue lol.

I sometimes joke with dh that he has gone over his quota if we have sex more than once a week. He know it is a joke though. Does he really say you have to do something in return?

If he wasn't joking you have big issues.

Surely he's joking. Me and husband say things like that jokingly to each other sometimes. If he's not joking then he's an idiot and out of order.

Was he joking though? Me and the husband have a long standing joke about banking blowjobs. But we both play, find it amusing and it takes the weight from intense situations.

If yours was serious I know just how I would personally play that one

Weird. If it wasn't a joke then I will assume he doesn't enjoy it and got nothing out of it at all?

He was teasing. For goodness sake people get so worked up over nothing. No wonder relationships don't last.

Was he drunk? (Clutching straws)
If not that's a hawks thing to say and you have big issues

Hawks? Stupid autocorrect. I meant hideous

I have to do things in return for cuddles so I presumed that he wasn't joking, but he could of been joking this time. Either way I will not be returning favours lol.

He uses affection as currency in general? That's a weird dynamic. Does he withhold it if he doesn't get his way?

Yeah tell him to get stuffed.

You have to do his bidding for a cuddle?! Yes, there are issues here.

I have to do things in return for cuddles

Fuck. That. Shit.

How about you tell him to get fucked and from now on he'll have to earn your affection.

It should be of mutual benefit and pleasure, not a this for that set up.

You have to do things in return for cuddles? Are you desperate to be loved OP? Because it sounds like he is seriously using your want to be loved to control you. I would be showing him the door. The relationship is seriously off balance

His not a very affectionate person. I'm a touchy, cuddle person and his the opposite so if I want cuddles I have to earn them and he has to be in the mood for them.

Thats a really sad thing to read OP.

My husband is more touchy feely than I am but he just comes and cuddles or kisses me when he fancies. If I'm really not in the mood I just tell him. Of course I approach him for cuddles sometimes too. Neither of us have to 'earn' it. We might jokingly say "now make me a tea" after a cuddle but it's never ever serious.

Then he isn't the person for ypu OP.

I don't care about him being a touchy feely sort, the fact he doles out affection as rewards for good behaviour is pathetic.

The oinly question to ask yourself, are you a person or a puppy he's training?

I did accuse him of having an affair last weekend as he stopped at a girls house but he told me she is only a friend but when we had sex this morning he was talking/fantasied about having sex with his friend woman. He said he texted her all the time but never seen any evidence of there friendship. I just feel like I'm not good enough anymore. His friend is slim and I'm not and now with the favour thing like his not enjoying nothing with me and I'm just here to cook and clean after him. I went to see the doctor as it's got me really down and I'm now on antiD's.

Wtf? I think if you left him you'd be much happier. Hes crushing your self esteem and behaving like an arsehole.