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Original poster

Anal for the first time

56 replies

PugBed · 26/09/2016 19:01

Been with DP for a few months, so far we haven't done anything that adventurous but he has said a few times he'd like to try anal.

I've only done this once before, I was really young and we were both inexperienced. It hurt alot and didn't feel good at all, I've never wanted to try it again until now. I've just realised I don't even know if he's done it before!

What should we be doing to get it right? Lube? Positions?

Also worried about it being a bit gross afterwards... how messy is likely to get?

I'm prepared for it not to feel wonderful for me, but as long as its not painful and unpleasant I'm happy to try it with him.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 26/09/2016 19:07

I'm prepared for it not to feel wonderful for me, but as long as its not painful and unpleasant I'm happy to try it with him.

You should really want more for yourself than this

mysextopicusername · 26/09/2016 19:09

Hello.

Name changed because the sex boards can get a bit fighty on here sometimes and my usual name is a bit more innocent.

Personally I think anal is one of those things that sometimes feels ace and other times is a bit bleugh. But you don't know til you try and it's really important your DP is aware of that.

Also I think the mental sexual turn on from doing anal is much more intense than any physical reaction. So if you don't fancy it you are more likely to struggle.

Anyhow with the dull stuff over, lots and lots of lube. Doggy style is probably easiest. Go slow at first.

I haven't done a survey obvs but I find it's nice super slow and it's nice pretty hard but it's a bit weird at the in between stage. I'm sure other posters can comment.

But most importantly, make sure you add the stuff you want to try to the list as well. Don't waste the opportunity whilst you're experimenting!

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 26/09/2016 19:11

I find a little tipple first makes it a positive experience!!

mysextopicusername · 26/09/2016 19:11

Ooh and make sure he gives your clit lots and lots of attention whilst you're doing it.

You should really just get him to give your clit plenty of attention anyway...

PoldarksBreeches · 26/09/2016 19:13

Well you should only do it if you actually want to. That said, my advice is
Only do it when you're very turned on
Lots and lots of lube plus a condom
Very very slowly on entry, push out slightly as if you're doing a poo as he enters
Very very slowly at all times in fact: he doesn't thrust, ever.
Agree in advance that if you want it out then he takes it out immediately without hesitation or question.
He needs to control himself - if he feels himself coming then great but he still doesn't thrust or speed up.
And you should touch yourself while he's there as if you're relaxed you may have amazing orgasms.

Original poster
PugBed · 26/09/2016 19:35

Aye Please don't misunderstand me, obviously I want to enjoy it too! But I understand it's not as straightforward as that for a woman and it can take time and practice for it to be pleasurable- I'm looking forward to finding out if we can enjoy it together.

Any reccomendations for lube? I know some of them can be tingly etc and I haven't really enjoyed using it in the past- makes things too slippery Grin

I trust him to take my lead with this and listen to what I'm happy with/ when I've reached my limit.

OP posts:
DianaMitford · 26/09/2016 19:44

I'm a big fan and I second the lots of lube thing. I find it easiest on my back, take it very, very slowly.

Nowthereistwo · 26/09/2016 19:56

Lube is the key but I didn't really enjoy it until I bought a buttplug (sorry prudes).

I found the size difference between finger and penis too much. But now dh goes down on me and introduces the plug to get "things ready".

Play with your clit through and enjoy.

Re mess. Should be clean as will be all Lube and come. Afterwards you should be able to pass it all on the toilet.

UmmmBerto · 26/09/2016 19:57

It's best to try when you are really aroused and feel you would really like to try it.
I find doggy style comfy.
Coconut oil makes a great lube.
If he comes inside you there can be 'fall out' later. Nothing worse than a bit of discharge. I've never had pooey mess during or after but I think it's entirely possible it could happen. You and DP need to be ready for that eventuality and happy to clean up and not get freaked. Shit happens!
Without a condom you need to be aware that should either of you feel like piv after, he must wash.
Take it slow. It's got to be on your terms and if it gets in any way uncomfortable, stop.
Have fun!

Nowthereistwo · 26/09/2016 19:58

We bought lube and toys from love honey. Comes quickly in plain brown boxes. We have liquid silk.

allsfairinlove · 26/09/2016 21:27

Just make sure he really does take your lead and listens to you

PapaEmeritus · 26/09/2016 22:13

Be careful using Liquid Silk as is contains glycerine, which can act as a laxative

Original poster
PugBed · 26/09/2016 22:34

May avoid that one then, thanks Emeritus Grin

OP posts:
McBassyPants · 27/09/2016 09:07

Pretty much what everyone else has said. Lots of lube, anal play in the build up, make sure you're really aroused and continue with the clitoral stimulation during. And make sure that if you want it to stop then he stops.

Hope it goes well and you both enjoy it :-) keep us posted

AlanMinium · 27/09/2016 15:44

From a mans point of view - if that's OK?
My wife enjoys anal VERY much but only every so often. When its the right time, its amazing, if its the wrong time its a definite no go zone. I think its hormonal, definitely seems to be in line with her cycle.
One position that rarely gets a mention with anal but we always find really good is with her on top. She controls the exact pace and depth etc and once she is all the way down, she grinds her clit against my pubic bone which none of the other positions give you.
Start off with oral (on you) and a well lubed finger, then if that feels nice go for 2 fingers.
Good luck and I hope you enjoy it rather than just doing it for his sake.

ALaughAMinute · 27/09/2016 19:23

Sounds painful and a bit smelly to me so I've never done it. Yuck!

AlanMinium · 27/09/2016 20:10

Wow. Mind your shoulders on that narrow mind!

Original poster
PugBed · 27/09/2016 20:22

Each to their own Laugh but I'm not sure that was helpful.

Alan Man's point of view is fine, thanks for your advice!

I see where you're coming from re: woman on top, I'm not that confident on top normally though.

OP posts:
AlanMinium · 27/09/2016 20:34

Sorry yeah, I understand the confidence thing very well!

RawPrawn · 27/09/2016 20:36

You've been with him a few months and he's said a few times he'd like to try anal. And you've had bad anal sex in the past but you're willing to try it again to keep him happy.

Be alert, OP. I know you say you trust him blah blah. But watch out for sulking/strops when you either a) change your mind b) go for it but call a halt when it turns out that you were right first time and it hurts/isn't pleasurable for you.

PapaEmeritus · 27/09/2016 21:05

If you're not confident and comfortable, it may not go as well as it could. I wouldn't recommend attempting anal sex if you're at all tense; I think this is where it can go wrong for couples attempting this in a doggy style position. Your body if often braced and tense like that, which can result in painful or difficult penetration.
Really, really recommend woman on top position as mentioned above, or spooning.

Maybe buy yourself a plug to try on your own? As others have said, do it for you and not for him etc etc

ALaughAMinute · 27/09/2016 21:37

Each to their own Laugh but I'm not sure that was helpful.

No, not very helpful, sorry about that. As much as I understand some couples enjoy anal sex, I couldn't do it. Each to their own as you say.

Original poster
PugBed · 27/09/2016 22:11

I know what you mean Raw but the reason it was so bad first time around is probably more to do with the fact that we were 17, inexperienced and rushed into it.

I'm not doing this soley to keep my partner happy, obviously I want to please him and I don't see that as a bad thing but I want to enjoy it too. There's no pressure being put on me, and if we try and either of us wants to stop then we will.

Papa Thankyou, spooning might work best then and for some reason it didn't occur to me to try something on my own first, that actually makes sense!

OP posts:
AkimboLimbo · 28/09/2016 20:46

I love a bit of anal. Not every time, it's an occasional thing.
It concerns me that you don't actually sound keen, I think it's something you should really want to do. That's far more than just hoping you'll enjoy it.

I don't think it is just about lube - though you do need plenty, and a good quality one too (Lovehoney have an excellent range)
I think that preparation is the key. You need to be relaxed and comfortable. Start with fingers and toys. It might take a few tries to work your way up from fingers to toys before you even consider a penis. There is no rush, take your time to see if you are enjoying the sensations. If you're not, don't continue. You can learn how to relax your muscles to make it easier, but that takes a bit of practice, so if it takes a few weeks or months, then enjoy the practice.

On top and spoons are both good positions that give you a good degree of control, but I also like missionary.

Really good open and honest communication is vital.

Loveshak · 28/09/2016 20:58

I'm not a fan but DH was very keen and as his libido is flagging I though I'd give it another go.

Lots of lube and spooning and I actually rather enjoyed it.

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