Serious question (sort of BDSM/watersports related)

[SorryYouWhat]

I've name changed for this and I swear to god this is a genuine question.

Man I've been seeing told me that he enjoys urinating inside a woman when erect. I'm very open minded and not judgmental about sex so I don't really care about that in the sense that I'm not "horrified". I've done a bit of googling but not found much on this subject.

Has anyone ever done this? ( or I suppose more accurately, had it done to them?
Is it painful?
Is it safe?
What happens when he is finished? Does it all run out?

The idea of it definitely doesn't turn me on at all but I'm trying to work out whether this is something I am willing to experiment with. Even me in my open minded way find this a bit very off-piste as it were and can't imagine this is a good experience for the woman. I can't help thinking it must be dangerous or unhealthy.

Just to correct a previous post - urine is not sterile. The belief that it is is a widely held urban myth but it is just that - an urban myth (sorry on phone so can't do links but a quick google should suffice to check).

Wouldn't it fill up the end of a condom like a giant bag? They can hold quite a bit.

No, you need a lot of pressure to inflate a condom, a urine stream wouldn't do it

If the idea doesn't excite you, OP, don't do it. It's the sort of thing where you both have to be equally into it. Otherwise you are just being a receptacle for his bodily waste.

And you will learn a lot about him by how he reacts to you saying no.

I'm a live and let live kind of lover...but my concerns with this are practicality mainly...

As Gaggia said...these days every woman knows that douching is a no no. So taking into account he's already said he'll be pre prepped with a full bladder, not only will you be douching with urine, but more than likely a forceful voluminous stream of hot piss hitting you internally like a race horse. And then gushing out everywhere uncontrollably.

And then you'll have to douche again with water and probably soap to remove any traces (I love my DP and I'm not a hater of men, but I'm sorry male pee is not beautifully fragrant).

Then as others have said, the possibility of even after that..it leaking out the next day.

I can see a host of health and cleanliness problems if this is a regular thing.

But then I am one of those unlucky lovers...cystitis if I don't wee after a rampant bonk, thrush during sweaty holiday sex, sand burns on the beach, UTIs from a bit of rough strumming, Ingrowing hairs from a Brazilian wax etc

The other thing is possible coercion, that people are picking up from his conversation of having practiced this many times...he is normalising something he wants to do to you, knowing you aren't yet comfortable with it. Only you know the situation op, but from the outside I think readers are wary of this.

And it should be a two way relationship so is he satisfying your kinks and alternative desires too? And if you say "it's a no for now" how will he react?

Or if you suggested something equally "off piste" like, "ok but can I take a big dump on your chest" how does he react?

i thought the sex topic was where people could ask questions about sex without judgement or condescension.

Where is the judgement and condescension?

So, he has had a lot of unprotected sex then if it means not being able to use a condom?

I've done this with my partner.

I guess the point is it's supposed to be degrading perhaps. But when done in a consensual loving environment and has been discussed then each to their own.

If you wouldn't have sex without a condom then I wouldn't be doing this as clearly it involves fluid contact. It kinda doesn't feel like much a bit warm and it generally stays in until he pulls his penis out.

It's very messy... It will go on the floor/bed. Use suitable protection? Maybe a towel on top of plastic.

You can use a douche to wash out after if you want... I'd recommend it,

But I've never had any side effects beyond smelling a bit until it's washed.

Don't feel pressured into doing it. But if you fancy trying it. Unless you get a kick out of dirty and degrading things then you'll probably find it very underwhelming.

Oh and it most definitely doesn't still leak out the next day.

And douching isn't great as a regular thing. But for an occasional clean out after something like this then I'd chose the douche ;)

We've all done it

he certainly likes to make you feel special eh.

I doubt its dangerous in itself, but I dont like the idea that hes done it with loads of women and is using that to get you to agree to it, especially as mentioned, this means hes been doing bareback bdsm stuff with many women.

Watersports don't necessarily have to be degrading, they can be very sensual too. In our humble (and only slightly experienced) opinion.

Curiousmum
Thank you very much. That was very helpful and exactly what I wanted to know. I REALLY appreciate you taking to respond about something so personal.

I don't know why I feel like I have to defend myself but:
As I said above, it's not that he's done it a lot with lots of different women. It's that he's done it a lot in the context of long term relationships.

Branleuse & others - I am absolutely not under any prewssure to do this at all. It's up to me whether I want to give it a go. It is actually possible for a man be into BDSM and want to do that consensually you know! BDSM interests do not = rapist.

But after he's done the wee, would you then go on to shag? Presumably so if he gets off on it? I imagine that getting verry stingy and chaffy. Water is in no way a good lube and I can't imagine wee being one either. Always practical me

off piste

Inside? As in mouth? Anus? Vagina? Ear. I mean there are many options for inside a woman.

oh god, i know its perfectly possible and normal for people to be into all sorts of stuff, but noone ever got me to do anything by telling me about all the other women hes done it to first, especially when it blatantly means bareback/unsafe.

I also dont think youre likely to get the advice youre looking for from mumsnet tbh. Its pretty niche.

How far inside is he intending to be?

If he's shallow, I can't see pressure being a problem, but if he's fully inserted, I would have thought there's more chance of infection as the pressure against the cervix would be higher (?) especially if he's saved-up a good tank full.

Perhaps try the Lovehoney forum, where I think you're likely to find more people who have personal experience of this - www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/

Never heard of it before but I think it might feel quite nice (as a receiver) of course I might just be a latent pervert. trots off to ask old man

I read an article about this on buzzfeed not too long ago,can't find it now but will have a proper look later on.

Sounds horrible. Dump him and find someone who isn't into such kinky stuff. If it's his fetish, he will always want to do it and will nag if you don't want to.

Where does the BDSM stuff fit into what you've described?

It's not something I'd want to try, jet washing your cervix screams UTI to me.
I'd be pissed off with him mentioning his previous experiences of this with many partners, sounds awfully like, " if you really loved me, you would"
if there's no feeling of coercion and it's something you think you'd enjoy,then give it a go.

Is he called Jeff? Lol