Thoughts I had during sex...but shouldn't have!

[NotAdmittingToThis]

Married nearly 10 years. We have good sex but, you know, sometimes, it's not blowing my mind and so my mind wanders.
So, last night, during a blow job, I had the following thoughts:

• thinking up an appropriate thread title for this thread
• "Oh no, I did a bacon burp on your circumcised penis"
• (as mouth began to tire) "Don't delay it too long, selfish prick...literally"

• another one that pops up if he is taking a while during PIV sex, after I have come is "Hurry the fuck up...literally"

What about you?

Disclaimer - I know good sex is about communication and do communicate with DH about things, including sex, and it is all generally very satisfying. Thank you.

I'm so glad I'm not married.

Communication is of great importance. But It's definitely a good thing you are not blurting out "Hurry up" during piv !

Maybe a couple of times I think "Ar my jaw is cramping" during bj though lol. During sex though, maybe you should try thinking about a hot hunk of your fantasy man writhing all about and maybe you could aim for a multiple orgasm!

Last guy I was with told me "I'm coming", "oh good" I replied and then followed it up with "for you, I mean good for you!" I don't think he noticed by that point though haha

I have sometimes thought about... Excel spreadsheets during sex.

In my defence I'd suggest that when you're nice and relaxed is a perfect time for your brain to suddenly suggest a solution to what you've been trying to achieve all day at work. And as long as you confine your outburst to "Oh yes!" and don't add "I can use Index and Match in combination with a named range for a picklist!" your partner will be none the wiser ;)

I've fallen asleep before

Actual thoughts I've had have included

"urgh brush your teeth"
"I need a wee hurry up!"
"what shall I wear today"
"ow ow ow cramp ow ow cramp cramp cramp!"

ha pocketsaviour, that's hilarious! you should be writing a column.

I can confess to having thought about grocery shopping, home decorating and a threesome with work colleagues during sex with DH.

I remembered I forgot to put the bins out. Unfortunately I said it out loud
Killed the mood slightly, but we carried on!

at correios

Dh is very keen on foreplay (we're talking well over an hours worth).

I'm afraid I'm often thinging "come on, if we wrap this up quickly we can watch a bit of telly"

I do enjoy sex with him but for me a 15 minute shag is just as satisfying as a 1 1/2 shag.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

All sorts goes on in my mind,I'll be making out a mental list of things I have to do in the next few days.

Luckily so far I've managed to not say out loud what I'm thinking about I can just imagine my DH's face if I shouted out steak and chips(working out meals for the meal planner)just as were nearing the end.

Lowers the tone

You are hurting my fucking piles, move your dick a bit.

Actually, that one I say out loud.

My thoughts are usually 'please no, I can't take another orgasm' I'm so glad I'm not married lol

I had a random image of a rat eating cheese pop into my head during sex the other day, I don't even know

'I wonder if I can accidentally get that spot on his back he won't let me squeeze during a kinky back scratch'

Haha. I often fantasise but not about spreadsheets and stuff. That's hilarious.

This is the most mumsnetty thread I've ever read in the sex topic

I've run through to-do lists before.