How to Be On Top

[20thCenturyGirl]

My new DP would love me to be on top more but my exH hated it so I always thought I was doing it wrong. I have asked my DP what to do and what feels good to him but he doesn't really say. I feel a bit silly. How do I move once I am up there so to speak?

Sorry if this is a really obvious question but I want him to enjoy it.

There must be a online help or book you can read, because there are literally hundreds of answers to your question. However at the end of the day, it is what works best for you and your new DP.

Tell him you are not very experienced (on top) and then suggest you both try everything you can, to see which you like.

How do I move once I am up there so to speak.
Easy answer is put years knees either side (of DP) and slide/bounce/grind up and down (like riding a horse). Changing your upper body angle creates different sensations. From leaning forward (maybe kissing) to leaning right back (grab his ankles for support). Also depth of penetration (controlled by you) creates different sensations

You can obviously do all of the above facing away from DP (reverse cowgirl).

Get DP to sit on something like a chair, then straddle him.

Get DP to lie on the edge of the bed then essentially sit on him (you will be sideways on). Your legs will still be on the floor, so you use your legs to slide/bounce/grind up and down.

Cavewomen's favourite. DP lies on his back (flat) you lie on top of him, you back to his front. This is a horizontal rear entry position with the mans hands free to play.

Happy practicing.

*put your knees either side

The other one my DH loves is to squat over him so the only contact with each other is PIV. You need quite strong legs but you can get quite a good up down action going.
And grinding is another great one, so the depth of penetration stays fairly constant but the grinding gives good clitoral stimulation at the same time.

And from a male point of view...

If the woman is sitting upright on top, and then leans back to grab his ankles as has been suggested up thread, this is great :) but please don't go too far back. I had one partner who actually lay down on her back between my outstretched legs and damn near broke my cock - these things aren't generally designed to point straight down when one has an erection.

As for the fella lying on his back and the lucky lady lying on her back on top of him, yup, this is also great as his hands can be used for play, but again, there can be problems - like another experience I had where she literally just lay on me, she didn't take any of her weight on her elbows at all and I was struggling to breath after a while :)

The single most important thing in my mind is to relax and have fun. Good luck with your experimenting op.

I hate going on top - it makes me feel vulnerable. Sorry - not much help!

If he's an ass guy, reserve cowgirl with an arched back works well.

Most importantly, do what feels good for you. I agree with pp about grinding for good clitroral stimulation though.

Good luck & have fun.

I don't know why I clicked
on this as I have nothing to say except Oddly Respect

Reverse*

Eekaman I had one partner who actually lay down on her back between my outstretched legs and damn near broke my cock

This ^^, but it works well reverse cowgirl. Cavewomen prefers to lean forward and puts a pillow between my feet and rests the top of her head on that. This gives her good leverage and the best feeling and is just on the edge of our (mens) flexibility.

Thanks everyone. Some of these are quite funny. I am going to give it a go this weekend with the lights out.

do it with the lights on, we both love seeing the penetration that some of these positions offer

Do it with the lights on. Be confident! It hurts my hips so i got my ex to lift his hips up so i could get my feet under his bum so it was a more "closed" position for my hips. Rocking, grinding slowly and a circular sort of motion was popular with him. You can lean right forward and let him thrust too...perfect for neck kissing or ear biting

Light off, why on earth?!

My last ex used to love reverse cowgirl but we didn't do it that often because he'd come really quickly. He used to call it my "Weapon of Ass Destruction"

My favourite way comfort wise was to be facing him, but lean forward towards his face and take some of my weight on my arms. This allowed me to get a regular up and down movement on his cock. Sitting upright did nothing for me whatsoever.

I find a rolling action with the hips to be quite pleasing and the guy I sleep with agrees

Don't ask me how I know about this website but this is absolutely fantastic for actually demonstrating sexual positions in animated form.

sexinfo101.com - cowgirl positions

If you click each position it will demonstrate it. The typical woman on top is just "cowgirl" but variations to the position get different names. The whole site of sexual positions including oral sex is very eye opening plus it is incredibly informative on anything sexually related. Enjoy!

Trace a kind of figure of 8 motion with your hips...

Theunwilling my phone doesn't support that Web but it seems interesting!

I quite like doing a kind of slow oval movement rather than trying to imitate a thrusting movement You sort of squat over him with your knees bent under you like horse riding. It's great on top you get to control the action. You really can't do it wrong - it's all good.