Lube recommendations?

[CoffeeAddict1986]

I have a new boyfriend (and have NC for this before anyone checks!). We tried to have penetrative sex yesterday for the first time and it was the first time I've seen him fully naked. He's huge, I'd estimate getting on for the thickness of my wrist (although to be fair I'm petite with small wrists, but still...). We ended up doing other stuff as the condoms didn't fit him properly and he hadn't ordered any. However, the very brief bit of penetrative did tear me slightly (he was careful and had done prep) so I'm thinking next time we'll also need lube and loads more prep. However, I've never bought lube before (my ex was tiny and prior to that I was a bit of a clueless teenager and just tore). Please help? I don't have anyone I can ask about this at present, apart from him and he was embarrassed about yesterday although we ended up having lots of fun but I didn't want to upset him (he's very caring, I think he'd be upset at the thought that he hurt me, although I think it's one of those things, especially when I'm quite petite and he's generally a large man anyway). I plan on telling him, not just springing lube on him (!) but yesterday wasn't the time.

I'd prefer to order online as I guess there'll be a better choice but I work all day so I'd need to order from somewhere with discreet packaging as my new neighbours take in my parcels.

TIA

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We use Durex play. It's fine. You can get it at boots etc and supermarkets.

The tearing. I had / sometimes still have this problem. It causes scar tissue which is less stretchy and therefore prone to tearing again. It's worse when you are tense, expecting it to happen. You can purposely relax the entrance by really concentrating on your pelvic floor muscles and sort of pushing down, the opposite move to clenching to stop your urine flow. Sounds odd but it really works. This was a tip from a gynaecologist. You can also massage the area with vitamin e oil. I never really got on with this.

Thanks. I've seen Durex play before but wasn't sure how good it was.

That's annoying about the tearing. My first boyfriend was also quite large and I tore frequently. I don't mind a bit of pain during sex so I never really worried about it, which probably won't help now with what you say about scar tissue. All the things they don't teach you to be cautious of in sex ed!

Sliquid is my favourite. I get it from Lovehoney.

This one or if you want more slippery this one

Loads more prep, longer foreplay and getting more aroused really does help the situation with a bigger guy.

KY jelly is readily available at the pharmacy too op.

Liquid skin is the best lube ever - I have tried quite a lot as my dp is also very large

I hated durex play, it goes claggy and doesn't stay smooth for very long

You can get liquid skin from amazon

Oops sorry, it's called liquid silk!

Durex play ends up sticky and tacky. Liquid silk is the way to go, although it does look a bit like spunk which makes us giggle when it's applied to the end of a sex toy

Liquid silk from love honey.

Very discrete brown box for delivery

The thickness of your wrist?! Holy god OP I hope you're small boned.

My knees clanged shut reading that!

I get liquid silk and condoms from here

Another vote for Liquid Silk. Unlike KY or Durex it doesn't dry up and go sticky, and it stays slick for longer than other lubes I've tried. It's also condom safe.

Definitely Liquid Silk. Don't be stingy either. Also lots of foreplay and, ahem, stretchy prep.

I've been known to engage in activities that involve things much wider than a wrist, and Liquid Silk is definitely the best lube we've used.

Also - is hilarious that it looks like spunk. Snigger factor is always a bonus.

Another vote for Sliquid, it's water based and the flavoured ones are very subtle. Lovehoney is my favourite website .

Op (and anyone else with a well endowed partner), if you are also interested in condoms try 'Mysize' or 'They fit' (bought online on a number of sites). They come in a wide range of sizes ie different lengths and girths (and are suitable for those who find high street condoms too big as well as larger men). You do need to measure his member to know what kind to buy, but if you are sleeping with someone I think you should be able to at least discuss this.

My dp is a big guy, first night we spent together I was rather surprised when he turned down my suggestion of "condoms are in the bedside table" and whipped out his wallet saying he he couldn't use them so had his own. I made sure to keep a supply of suitable protection at my place (although even the widest size leave a red make at the base of his penis) and we got into the habit of using lube on both of us. I prefer silicone based lubes as they are super sloppy and don't dry out (not for use on silicone toys though). As plenty of people have said lovehoney is excellent for all things sex related.

Hopefully you should be able to talk to your new guy to discuss any discomfort and work out how to both enjoy yourself. My dp had experienced problems with past partners not being able to manage with his size so was quite aware it's sometime not all its cracked up to be (on Redditch there is a subreddit called bigdickproblems where lots of people discuss the day to day realities of monster dongs, it's where dp first found out about the condom brands mentioned above).

Things that you can do/instigate to prevent tearing include making sure you are well warmed up, plenty of lube, make sure he is mindful of you and your body (going slow if needs be, using fingers or toys prior to p in v , not getting carried away before you're ready etc). If you feel comfortable I recommend going on top for initial penetration, as you are more in control (and can lube him up before climbing on) and can take your time.

Good luck with your new man, OP.

Yes my DP used to use the They Fit ones when we first met, it was quite painful watching him try and put on a condom. Great idea.

Pjur lube is brilliant too if you are planning on anal sex at all.

I use Sliquid organics. It's nice to use and doesn't dry out like the standard KY Jelly types.

I like liquid silk. Ive run out and am using a lovehoney water based one that i got for free and its shite compared to my lovely liquid silk.
Do you lot who use it get the tiny flip top bottle or the bit pump action one? Why isnt there a middle size?
And any recommendations for lube available on the high street that is decent? Not durex, its shite and makes my fanjo burn and i have access to boots, superdrug and ann summers.

Coconut oil! Absolutely brilliant. Washes out, no claginess and moisturises your bits too! What's not to like ????

Is coconut oil for lube really a thing?
We use condons so cant use anything oil based anyway.

Had a look at that liquid silk but it says it isn't edible which suggests you'd need to stick to a timetable of activities to get your oral done before applying. Any reccs for lube that allows more spontaneity?

Sliquid water based range is edible. They do some flavoured and they have an organic range too.

Thanks, will look. This is all new to me but I fear I'm headed for the pre-menopausal dehydrated undercarriage of doom.

Isnt it edible? Or is it just not flavoured? Id assumed that anything suitable for your fanjo would be suitable for your mouth, on account of the delicate nature of fanjos

Some reviews on Amazon said it wasn't and I'm sure I read it somewhere else too.

OP, I feel your pain. DP is also thicker than my wrist. I can get my hand around my own wrist with my fingers touching. But I can't do that around his widge.

We use Ann Summers' Strip Bare Fragrance Free Lube.

I have quite sensitive skin and was finding that lots of different lubes hurt me too. They'd burn. If you're not used to using lube, I'd recommend this. It's definitely the best we've found.