Is any one else here a submissive.

[PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange]

title says it all.

you start by talking to your partner xx

Maybe tell him some of your fantasies - say for example, u might want him to tie you to the bed. So u start with that. Start by talking about things and then trying them out. Some people find they just want a tiny bit of 'restraint' like a dressing gown belt tied loosely round there hands, just to see if you like the idea. Then you might think "Oh I'd like it a bit tighter next time" so it kinda builds up. And you'll find where ur limits are. Even if you both had some D/S experience from other relationships, u would still take a while to find out what each other likes and take the time to build up trust in each other.

The key is to make sure you're both comfortable with what is going on, and that you both stop immediately when the other asks you too.

you both have to be comfortable, coz you might like having ur hands tied to the bedpost, but of DP isn't happy or doesn't like to actually tie u up, then their feelings/needs/wants have to be taken into account too.

I watched a documentary on BDSM, it caught my attention and found it a turn on.

I then spoke to my Dh, after looking into it together we decided to give it ago.

The start was very slow and once we both felt comfortable doing the 1 thing ( it was using neck ties to tie me up) we just started adding more and more.

I would say it has taken us a good 2 years to be in the situation we are in now.

I have many hard limits, don't mind a light spanking that causes the skin to go pink, but dead against it being any harder.
I also can not do a BJ unless Dh is wearing a flavoured condom as I would be physically sick.
I'm not into any of the more advanced things like electric play ect.

It has been a journey of sexual awaking, but I believe we communicate better and we very rarely argue.

The phone thing was because I was getting very frustrated at going over my contract every month, this was Dh way to make sure I don't go over. Trust me I have been checking the app to make sure I don't go over.

If either of us wants to try something new we discuss it.

Like tomorrow we have a new toy arriving, should be an interesting experience.

For us, we'd had, um, some interesting sexual experiences both together and separately pre-marriage and children. It wasn't hard to ask him to tie me up and it wasn't hard to get him using toys on me - we'd done both before kids but I had not felt the same about it and it was hard to explain to him how much I feel like I really need that dynamic now. Happily, he was as into it as me so we just took it from there. With us, there's very little pain or spanking. We are all about restraint, rules and nudity (mine, it turns us both on if he is mostly clothed). I am sure it will evolve in the future. For now, it's perfect for us. The nudity in particular. What with the heat, I've had very few clothes on for several days. It's working really well for us. .

Dh likes me nude as well, clothes get in the way of fun.

I actually find that being naked a lot really turns me on as well as him. Ideally, I'd be in a situation where DH could keep me naked or wearing things designed purely to titillate all the time. I think I would find that really very satisfying. I like the idea of being available for him to touch etc all the time very sexy.

For those saying they find Fetlife incomprehensible - it's only any good if you're part of the scene and add friends. It's deliberately set up so you can't use it as a dating site.

I love Fetlife, I enjoy edgeplay and it's nice to be able to keep in contact with people who have the same interests, I mostly use it for learning from others.

It's very good if you give it a chance and ignore the weirdo messages. Mind you, a couple of years ago I was on here complaining about how awful it is.

What is edgeplay?

Basically anything that can be described as dangerous. Hard hitting, breath play etc.

Well after reading this ..
Had a little go .
Dynamic definitely different .
Felt completely comfortable .
Have struggled with sex for many years .
Felt so relaxed I was not in charge or responsible .
Omg .

So it was your suggestion? I'm not sure how I would broach the subject.

Westly - yes it was .