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Sex

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Original poster

Recent experience....

97 replies

Kimberley00001 · 25/06/2015 19:59

Hi , I recently slept with someone who i know quite well NSA etc etc...
The whole thing has left my spider senses tingling I did enjoy it don't get me wrong but I not sure if this is normal .
I havent had many partners but this is the first time I've felt like questioning the things we did.
A few things stand out , the first one him shouting out cum on my big dick !! ( sorry to be so graphic!) it put pressure on me and I didn't like that .
He took ages and I mean ages to cum, like maybe over an hour all different positions .
And it was quite rough which I did like at first, but he was also rough with his hands and when he went down on me, he went hard and fast.
When he finally did cum , it was only when he was tied up and I was spitting in his mouth and choking him till his eyes watered.
This isn't a joke thread I promise , just looking for some opinions on this.thanks

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 27/06/2015 22:28

Your attitude is a lot like that 100 years ago towards women. "What? You think women should get any pleasure out of a sexual encounter? Ewww. Disgusting. Lady, sex is not about you. Just do what he tells you and shut the fuck up."

Again, John, I have literally no idea how you're getting that from my post. You seem very determined to be personally offended by me. Are you projecting, there?

Original poster

Kimberley00001 · 27/06/2015 23:03

Im thinking about when he used his hands on me .i think he may have put four fingers in or his whole hand. that isn't right is it

OP posts:

travertine · 27/06/2015 23:03

So he talks dirty, wants anal, wants to wee in your knickers or something. Something about blow jobs. Does he want to dress up too? Oh did he smack your bum. Can't remember.

Original poster

Kimberley00001 · 27/06/2015 23:09

He doesn't like blow jobs. No dress up no smacking.

OP posts:

Magicalmrmistofeles · 27/06/2015 23:10

You know your own boundaries, this went past it. I'm not quite sure what you're asking for here - no one is going to validate what you don't like / want.

pocketsaviour · 27/06/2015 23:47

i think he may have put four fingers in or his whole hand. that isn't right is it

What, without asking?? Or had you discussed fisting?

This is almost sounding like this guy wanted to experience the A-Z of fetishes. He certainly doesn't know what he wants. But do you know what you want?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 28/06/2015 06:02

I'm not quite sure what you're asking for here

I said that right at the start and got a face for it. I'm still not sure what the OP wants from this thread.

MsRaspberryJam · 28/06/2015 06:40

Can't bear all the holier than thou talk on this thread. You realise having vanilla sex doesn't make you a better person or your opinions more valid, right?

OP, it sounds like it is the closeness you are missing. It's jarring to have this level of, let's call it 'passionate expression', without security and caring. Is it a relationship you really want?

Aridane · 28/06/2015 06:47

You got the 'hmmm' face from me, AP, for the comment that what OP was describing was not particularly hardcore (not for your question as to what the OP was hoping to get from this thread). Sorry

Lagoonablue · 28/06/2015 06:58

I hate the term vanilla sex.....oh how boring we all are.

UnknownMoniker · 28/06/2015 07:54

God could you all stop being professional offended on this thread about kinky and vanilla sex? vanilla dosen't = boring, and us with more kinky sex lives actually still like and enjoy vanilla too.

OP, unfortunately he sounds like he has spent too much time watching porn and finishing himself off. The spitting is for him to feel dirty part of the humiliation aspect, as he had wanted watersports, spitting was next best. What you have described are things that really should normally take awhile for a couple to explore. (Unless both experienced and both know exactly what you want)

The length of time isn't going to get better, nor the variety of things he wants to try/do, because he doesn't fully know what he wants and how to cum during actual real sex.
If he hasn't brought the subject upsince, maybe he has come to the same conclusion. Communication is the key in every relationship, But after two sex dates in, is it really worth it? trying to understand and trying to make it work? Sorry but you'd probably have to become a counsellor to him.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 28/06/2015 07:55

Not personally offended or projecting pocket saviour but yes I was rather annoyed by your post yesterday of 17.01.

I don't think this is about "vanilla" v "kinky" sex at all and I'm surprised it's being framed as such. It seems -as you last wrote - about some fella with an a-z of ideas performed by a very unsatisfied partner. That makes me sad for her.

Let's er put it to bed?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 28/06/2015 08:27

Why is this becoming a vanilla vs kinky debate? The op didn't enjoy much of the sexual encounter and doesn't have much experience to compare it to.

My advice? If this sort of thing doesn't turn you on then don't do it. Also, NSA sex should be about your pleasure as much as his and this whole thing doesn't sound like it was geared towards you at all. So you don't orgasm through penetration- what did he do to make sure you did?
It's ok to stop a sex session at any point if you have had enough, you don't have to keep going until the man has orgasmed.
Personally, I think the choking and spitting sounds vile and I wouldn't have done it. If you did it to see if you would enjoy it then fine, but if you did it just to make him orgasm then you really didn't need to do that.
It also sounds like he violated your boundaries by for example trying to fist you without prior discussion and agreement. He doesn't sound like a nice guy. The anal comment could also be very dodgy too.

Goodbetterbest · 28/06/2015 09:52

OP there is better sex out there. Lots and lots of it. NSA sex should be amazing. He sounds like a shit shag and no one needs one of those.

pocketsaviour · 28/06/2015 10:33

Agreed John, let's just drop it.

OP - you sounded really conflicted in your last post.

You know, it's okay to say "that was crap and I didn't enjoy it, so I'm not seeing this guy again." That's what NSA is all about - if it's rubbish, you move on. It sounds like this guy was all over the place. He definitely wouldn't be my cup of tea.

Can I ask where you met him? Online dating site/hookup/Fetlife etc?

Original poster

Kimberley00001 · 28/06/2015 12:23

I don't think I'll be seeing him again. I think he had unrealistic expectations of what sex with me was going to be like , and he must of compared me to what he'd seen on porn Id liked him for a long time he knew one of my exes, so not online dating but we did start by flirting on facebook. I think with me I like the intimacy and affection thing, and there wasnt much apart from the kissing at the start. This man is almost 50 and I know has had far more experience than me, you'd think he'd of made a bit more effort

OP posts:

Goodbetterbest · 28/06/2015 13:08

I'm actually pleased to hear that Kimberely. Find yourself a good lover, you'll know one when you meet one because he will get pleasure from giving you pleasure. Believe me, that's a real game-changer.

UnknownMoniker · 28/06/2015 13:19

^^that,

same as good

Lagoonablue · 28/06/2015 15:03

I'm not professionally offended btw. Just bored.

Original poster

Kimberley00001 · 28/06/2015 21:01

Thank you all for you're input

OP posts:

Original poster

Kimberley00001 · 30/06/2015 09:26

Sorry to drop feed but I just thought of something else , is it usual for a man to not even take your bra off or attempt to touch your chest while making love ? This guy didn't and its twice he did this now.

OP posts:

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 30/06/2015 09:47

You weren't making love were you? You were being fucked. Which is fine if that's what you want but it clearly isn't.
Some men aren't interested in tits particularly. It's not abnormal but it does kind of add to the picture of a selfish guy who isn't interested in your pleasure.

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