Oh! Oh! My firstborn starts secondary school in September. Surely that warrants a support thread?

[Cadelaide]

Am I a bit too early for this?

I mean it's months away yet, isn't it?

there aren't any buses that go that way. There are a few routes she could take but I haven't worked out which is the safest option. She will have to walk close to or pass another secondary school to get to her one.

She is so tiny, she doesn't even go out without us. She plays out with friends and goes to the local shop on her own (its very local!) but thats it.

I think we will have to do lots of walking to and from the schoo between now and the 5th sept. I'll let her lead the way and just keep right back.

She is sensible so I shouldn't worry really, but I just know I will. There are a few roads she will have to cross with no zebra crossing or traffic lights, those are the ones I will worry about.
Arghh, why can't she just go back to reception again until I am ready to let her go big school?

Getting to school is a scary business (for parents, anyway)

kid - is there anyone she could travel with? Anyone else local going to the same school?

DD2 has to take two buses, involving a change at the big changeover stop in the city centre. DD1 does the same journey (the 2 schools are in the same street, coincidentally) but they won't necessarily start at the same time and they definitely don't finish at the same time so she will be on her own mostly. She says she is more nervous about the buses than she is about school!

I got round the whole travel to school worry by booking DS onto the school bus :)

With all this angst about moving from primary to secondary school for both mums and children, have we ever stopped to ask why children are obliged to leave a small friendly school where the kids all know each other and the teachers know all the kids (and most of their parents), to a large, impersonal, scary place full of much larger kids they don't know - and often a long way from home; and all this just as their brains are going through an enormous development?

Kid, I understand your apprehension! If she is little it makes it so much worse (for you, that is ).

As you say, the only thing to do is to do the journey with her several times so she is more confident.

Ds has now announced that he wants to go to school on the bus and has asked me to show him how (even bigger ). This journey will involve a walk to the bus stop, getting on any bus, and getting off after 2 stops. By the way the buses have automatic announcements and at the stop where he needs to get off it actually says the name of the school. Not exactly complicated......
Why won't he just walk?

Good thinking about the school bus, SoupDragon.

Grandpa, I guess it depends on the child - DD was at a one form entry primary school & found the last year or so pretty stifling (more socially than academically)- she can't wait to move up to big school!

Having said that, I grew up with infants / middle school / upper school which I feel is a much more natural progression, & would probably have suited DD better too.

Mind you, 2 rounds of admissions instead of one would just about do me in, I think.

Why all the angst. Our daughter starts secondary school on 6th September. She is more than ready to move on and more than capable of travelling three stops on the tube to get there. Roll on specialist subject teaching and raising the bar. It's time to grow up. Both her great grandfathers started work on their 14th birthdays!!

I'm suffering no angst bar the realisation that the chubby little baby i brought home from hospital, the cute little reception boy whose cheeks I want to squeeze has grown up enough to go to secondary school. where he will have a fabulous time and about which I am actually very excited.

however, I am not excited about the amount of label sewing I have had to do :o Or the fact that I have lost his 11-15 Oyster card by putting it in A Safe Place.

Miso and Oncemai, of course, you're both right. Kids develop different things at different speeds - physically, intellectually and emotionally. They learn different things at different ages too; a little boy (aged 7 I believe) got an A* at GCSE maths the other day. The whole concept of school as a sort of age-related sausage machine is really no way to run a system of education. We need to ask, first of all, 'what is education for?' (not 'what are schools for?'). Then we can design a system that caters for the individual needs and stage of deveopment that suits every unique child.

Kid -definitely make time to do the journey a few times. Starting secondary school can be difficult enough, but if there is the fear of getting lost/being late.....
Ds has a 15 minute bus journey, and has done it about 10 times, simply enjoying hopping on and off the bus. Simple pleasures!
He has gone into town today to get dad's birthday present....and probably sneak a milk shake in too.
I love the fact that they have freedom with their bus passes - dd will happily spend all day going round the area on the bus, and has an indepth knowledge of SW London bus routes now.

Yes the travel worries are temporary, just until they get the hang of it, but the organisational stuff, oh dear. DD2 has always been totally chaotic. DD1 spent a whole day in her room with her last week, sorting things out and tidying up. She told her "you'll never manage if you don't keep your things tidy" at which DD2 looked horrified.

My dd was in tears last night saying she just wanted to go back to primary school. I said every single kid going up to year 7 will have said that some time these holidays. She cheered up a bit then.

Travel's a worry though.

I agree. Ds can't wait for the academic side of things to get going (he has a lab coat which he thinks bodes well), but travel is something else. He uses public transport regularly but always with me or dh. He has a London train ride and then a walk. I am sure it will be fine once he's actually doing it - as Roisin says, loads of kids going the same way in the same kit.

DD2 definitely wants to get started, she's ready for the challenge academically but having seen how different DD1 has become since starting secondary, she is a bit scared of the emotional side/peer pressure/fitting in, particularly as only one of her friends is going to the same school.

ds2 just rolls his eyes now when I talk about being organised. I think he'll be OK though - I was more worried about ds1 (space cadet), and he was 100% fine.

My boys have always had quite a lot of freedom and are well used to finding their way around independently. ds2 has been walking (0.6 m) to school alone since he was 7 or 8 (including crossing roads).

I'm a bit about children who've not had the opportunity to develop road sense and so on by this age.

For ds1 the change to subject specialist teachers had a dramatic effect on his learning and - along with setting for academic subjects - is definitely worth the challenges of a large (7-form entry) school.

My dd knows how to
cross roads, she does cross them on her own but mainly when I'm there. When she goes to the local shop, she has to cross 2 side streets. It doesn't stop ne from worrying though.

I need to pick what I consider to be the safest route and stick to it. Best get started with teaching her the route today, less than a week to go!

I agree with you kid. You know deep down that they will be ok doing all of these new things but it doesn't stop you worrying does it? I'm sure if you go through the route a few times before then, she'll be fine. When your DH takes her on the first day, will he have time to walk with her? That might help :)

We got DS1 his own house key cut yesterday so that he can let himself in, as there will be some nights when I will be collecting the younger children / taking them to activities when DS1's bus gets in. Again, I know really that he will be fine - it's just new and different and something for me to worry about!

I gave her a mobile phone recently. I was a bit unsure at first but now I'm pleased. It's an old handset on a cheap contract that can be cancelled at any time.
She is a bit of a pest though as she keeps texting silly messages to people. I was hoping the novelty would have worn off by now!

I managed to get the rest of her uniform
today so at least she can go in the complete uniform now.

Good grief - I have to sew a name label on the sports bag - how am I supposed to do that?

So when is D-day for all of you?

DD2 starts on Thursday. It is a short introductory day for the new ones only (+ parents! We get a tour of the school while she is with her form tutor, we have lunch with her, meet some teachers then come home at 2pm. Friday is a day off for the new ones - first day for the rest of the school - and she starts properly on Monday.

Friday for us.
A normal day- 8.40 registration.
That will be a shock to the system!
There are 8 of them meeting at the end of the road to get the bus.

"My dd was in tears last night saying she just wanted to go back to primary school. I said every single kid going up to year 7 will have said that some time these holidays. She cheered up a bit then."

Jux that is true! DDis super exited at staring high school but has several teary moments remembering primary school during this holiday.

WRT transport, I think it is one of my main worries, even though the bus stop is visible from my house. To make sure I do not pass that onto DD I decided she would take the bus on the first day (she asked several time if we could get her there the first day as apparently all her friends will get a lift on that day) I think if she cracks it right from the start it will give her more confidence (and me )

Schooluniform still not 100% complete, I am pulling my hair a bit! but, for the first time in years I am looking foreward to the l;abelling of clothes because DH got me my very own "label machine" yesterday!

D-Day is Monday for us.

Yr7s just start at 8.40 am with the rest of the school, no staggered starts or anything! I think they all have extended registrations - to copy out their timetables etc and a whole school assembly.

It will be a long and tiring week, but once he's cracked that week he'll be flying.