What is an attendance support panel? and will it magically stop DD from getting ill?

[Katymac]

As tbh I can't see the point of it?

Yes she has been ill a lot
Yes I know she keeps missing school

Yes I would 'fix' it if I could - but unless I can put her in a bubble she will get bugs/illnesses & I can't make them go away

I've already said this on other threads but as the parent of a child in an at-risk group for SF (and other respiratory bugs) I get so angry when schools appear to be nagging parents and encouraging them to send children in when they are ill. All for the sake of 'attendance records'. There is no point and you have my every sympathy if they are getting at you. As if, frankly, the vast majority of mums would keep a child hanging around at home if they were well.

End of rant. sorry.

Well exactly & I work from home so a child while I am at work really helps me

She is taking double vitamins (water soluble so she will wee an excess away) & aloe vera - goodness knows what else they expect us to do

She has asked for extra work from all her subjects to catch up

I have just spoken to the GP who will write a letter defending her illnesses

Poor poppet feels so guilty

& I only just noticed they haven't invited DH to the meeting - that is rude & wrong imo

My dad is taking a day off work to come with me - DH feels he can't come because they haven't invited him whilst my dad has a thicker skin

He is also a management consultant - he is hoping his skills in this area will help

Tho' unless they can make all DD's stress go away & boost her immune system I think it unlikely that they will miraculously make her 'better'

Good luck with it - it is a ridiculous system. The LA has an Attendance Target, the schools are pressurised by the LA to meet the targets, the schools put pressure on the parents. And then schools get more twitchy because the Ofsted spin is that if attendance is low it's because pupils aren't engaged enough and don't feel positively about the school.

So what with Osted perceptions and LA pressure, schools get into such a state that they lose the ability to see that each case is different. Hopefully the GP's letter will help.

SHe has had a terrible run
a virus - 5 days
noro - 2 days
tonsillitis - 5 days
reactio to swine flu jab - 1 day
tummy bug - 2 days (& tbh she was well enough to attend - but the 48hr rule applied)

so 15 days - & virtually no catch up work from teachers

Just sending un-MN hugs- been there, done that, know how it feels. Keep reassuring your dd that it isn't her fault.

Thanks Cory

My dad is going to be asking what they are doing to alleviate the situation

At least they're talking to you now katymac If I was dh I'd go along he's perfectly entitled and doesn't need an invite.

And make sure they offer you the 'support' bit that's in the title of their panel. Ask for their asthma policy too - it was your dd that didn't have access to her inhaler wasn't it?

No it was their policy that would mean that DD didn't have her inhaler - I ignored the policy

The letter was addressed to me - & DH is being a bit arsy so my dad intends to make use of all their errors

They didn't include DH in the invitation
They didn't offer an option that the appointment might not be convenient
They didn't suggest I might like to bring anyone with me

Ah yes I remember - point out that the policy does not follow Asthma UK guidelines or I suspect, guidance from School Health.

You dad sounds like an ideal person to take.

If it is a good panel they should ask what they can do to support you in keeping dd in school. I realise that there may be nothing they can do but they should ask the question and not just berate you.

Good luck!

saggarmakersbottomknocker - I guess I just feel 'got at'. I really do have enough to deal with atm without them adding pressure

During DC's time at the school has she taken any unauthorised absent eg holidays or the like

Never unauthorised

She has 2 days off each November (this will be the 3rd yr) to compete in a National Competition

She had 3 days off 2 yrs ago for her uncles wedding

That's it I think....no there was a day off (first day of term) one year

But they were all in junior school she has only been here since September

Ime if you get a head who is hooked on attendance they'll give you a hard time despite never having had a day's unauthorised absence in your life. Dd had this at junior school: well known fact that the head's ambition in life was to get the school an Outstanding and the attendance figures stood in his way.

At her secondary, they couldn't be kinder and more understanding, despite the fact that dd is now having time off for emotional reasons (struggling with baggage from last 5 years).

What I have learnt is the importance of staying Calm and cooperative. Be willing to Understand them. Try to see it as a necessary going-through-the-motions on their part. Be visibly grateful for any offer of help: once they realise that there is a medical problem, and that what you mean by help is something they can't help with, they will melt into thin air. But you will retain moral high ground, as you co-operated and they failed you, rather than the other way round.

Been there, done that- and am very very thankful I am not having to do it all over again.

I feel I should defend the school in this discussion. I can see this from both points of view - although I am lucky as my children have been mercifully illness-free for the majority of the time. Mostly because I do NOT work from home and so a lot of the time I have no choice but to send them to school or else I have to call my family in to watch them for me.

However, as a teacher, especially at secondary KS3 and 4 and 5 levels, extended absence can have an adverse affect on both the student's progress and my planning. Yes every individual case is different, and many are genuine.... however, many many more are not.

I KNOW that it is hard as a parent, especially when your child is really really sick.

But Katymac you must understand how many times I am asked to provide work for 'sick' students. Most of the time any work is kind of impossible as the child needs to be in my class to understand what we are doing. Then students fail to come and catch up with their work when they return and so I am leaft with 29 students that are fine and 1 that has no clue (but does have a nifty excuse)

Without wishing to provoke intense reaction - how many of us blame the school for something that is our responsibility?

As an additional : when I was off sick for 2 weeks (hospitalised) for extreme food poisoning. I had 2 complaints letters from parents demanding to know where I was and why I wasn't teaching. Double standards?

I am in support of Ijustknow - the school has your DD's interests at heart, Katymac. They are obliged to follow up absence - they do the same with staff. Try to see this as an opportunity to accept support - make sure you mention that you would like your DD to have an opportunity to catch up with missed work. BUT as Ijustknow says, it's not as simple as asking for work to be sent home - often the student needs time with the teacher to do this - which means the teacher giving up spare time (not that this should be a problem) You say that there was "virtually no catch up work from teachers" - did you (or DD) actually ask for it? Did she go to her teachers, and say that she was concerned about work she'd missed, and therefore would be happy to catch up during break/lunch time or after school? Again, I agree with Ijustknow - it's not the teacher's reponsiblity to chase up the students - the student also has to make an effort.

I had mumps a few years ago - my entire VI form class had it, and I caught it from them. I actually had to get DH to phone school in the end and leave a message for the head to ask people from school to stop hassling me - I was barely conscious most of the time. Two parents in particular objected to me being off ill. I ended up being guilt-tripped into going to one girl's house during the Easter holidays to go through her work.

I wish my dd had gone to a school where the teachers weren't given more sympathy and understanding than the genuinely ill pupils. But that was certainly not the case for us.

At dd's last welfare meeting at juniors under the old head, the first 5 minutes were spent commiserating with a member of staff who had had to have time off school for a broken arm. It was clear that this was a major event which needed a LOT of sympathy. Then they started laying into us for dd's attendance, without expressing any sympathy about the fact that she has a chronic and incurable condition (supported by medical letters) that means she is in severe pain for long intervals at the time. Noone saw the irony.

When the head later retired for medical reason, we were all invited to sign a card expressing our sympathy. When it was about our child we were told: "Yes, we accept that X is ill, but you can't expect us to be happy about it!"

This was particularly galling as the school refused to look after her when she was in too much pain to sit upright- yet blamed us for keeping her at home.

They were the same with a friend's child who suffered from cystic fibrosis: the parents were made to feel that her being ill in hospital was rather naughty of them.

Double standards yes certainly- but not to the advantage of the children!

Of course Katymac's school may not be at all like this (dd's new school isn't)- but I think it would be wrong to assume that every school's unfairness will be towards the staff. There are schools who assume that adults are always in the right and children never are.

"Ijustknow Sun 15-Nov-09 17:42:05

"I am lucky as my children have been mercifully illness-free for the majority of the time. Mostly because I do NOT work from home and so a lot of the time I have no choice but to send them to school or else I have to call my family in to watch them for me."

Really- you mean dd's chronic health condition should have been miraculously be cured simply because I work away from home and have no family to look after her. Hasn't worked yet, all that happens is that dd has to stay alone in the house because there is noone to look after her.

I fully understand that attendance is important and that some pupils lie. But then some adults lie about going to work too: would you really want that to translate into your own headteacher assuming that you are lying?

Obviously some sort of standard approach is needed, but it must contain the manoeuvering room for genuine exceptions. When the parents of a child with a known incurable and potentially fatal condition, such as cystic fibrosis, are still being harrassed by the school "because so many parents lie about their children's absence", then something is seriously wrong.

Dd tried again and again in junior school to get a chance to catch up with lost work and nothing was done, until the head retired- then miraculously all these things suddenly became possible.

Of course the child has to prove willing too, particularly at secondary school level.

I would give the school a chance, Katymac. Assume that this support is really about supporting your dd and then take it from there.

If I knew what they were studying I could coach her through the work she has lost but our parent teacher meeting was spent being told that her illness was unacceptable & that she would 'never catch up'

I have talked her through the maths & Music my mum helps her with English & History, my dad & I muddle through Geography/science/PHSE/citizenship. None of us have a clue with Spanish but using the workbook we have by a process of elimination have worked it out. But that is just for new homework - tbh I am assuming we are getting to a level playing field from all the different junior schools. Catch up has been requested verbally 3 times, in writing twice - maths teacher has set units on the internet (& offered significant (unasked for but appreciated)emotional support) oh & we had a music worksheet.

Could they work a little harder on support tho' I came to them at the start of term with our problems (esp DD's difficulties with coping with her fathers illness) & they haven't done anything, no support, no counselling, no 1-2-1, Student services told none of her teachers; hell we only got to see the school nurse this week

I was told on the phone last week I was taking the letters about absence too seriously - then I get this - it is inconsistent

They say to my face 'we believe you are telling the truth' then the letter says either 'you are lying to me' or 'we don't care' not quite sure which

I am really sorry you are going through this. Dd's current school seem far more helpful. Basically, when she has been off sick, it is her job to find out from the teachers or from her friends what she has missed and catch up- that seems fair enough. As far as I can judge, this isn't actually impossible at secondary school level where they do a lot of independent learning anyway.

The attitude that "she will never catch up" seems weird. My dd has had far more time off than that, but the school's default position is that she will work hard and catch up.

Otoh her school has been really good with offering counselling etc- she was seen by the schools counsellor the same day I phoned in to say there is a problem and will be seen regularly from now on. I know her friend, who is still struggling with her mum's death last term, is also getting regular counselling support.

Cory - I can't imagine having to deal with this regularly I'm glad your school is more supportive - I am sure DD's stress is causing a low immune system which is leading to her catching many bugs. She is normally fit & well

I agree with the school - stop making excuses and get the child to school.